You're Twisted!
by K.Missouri
Summary: Stewie Griffin becomes the new captain of the 5th Division, which is good, until Aizen discovers and tracks him down. So now, these two find themselves performing weird acts, and adventures.
1. How It All Started

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

AN: Note: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

Title: You're Twisted!

This is basically a crossover between Bleach and Family Guy which features Stewie Griffin and Sōsuke Aizen as the main characters. They generally try to live in the same place together despite there differences. If your wondering how he can see him, I'll explain later in the story, this is technically a crack fic… oh well. Well, to be fair, there isn't much to say anyways.

WARNINGS: This story also features very strong language, mild violence, sexual themes, nudity and mild drug use.

Enjoy the crack madness!

Note: This is a fixed version of the chapter. I made more paragraphs for this one. Enjoy...

Chapter One: How It All Started

* * *

We move back three months when Stewie Griffin, who was still a little child, wounded up in a weird place called the "Soul Society" after his teleportation machine malfunctioned and transported him into the odd place. Luckily, he ended up in the Seireitei, the Soul Society's central city where all the people known as Soul Reapers lived. Lost and a little scared, he knew he had to find his way out of the place and back home. While trying to find a way back, he felt a weird but very strong feeling in his little body for a brief second and just shook himself from that feeling, while trying to fix the device which helps him return to his own world, he saw two Soul Reapers; one was wearing which what he though was a white, sleeve-less overcoat and the other was not but had a odd badge hanging from the front, the one on the left was a lid with short white, spiky-like hair and the other was a woman with long blonde hair, he wondered why two people like them was walking at this hour. Not caring about them one bit and was just focused on getting back, decided to walk past them as fast as his little legs could but he was soon caught by the woman.

"What are you doing? Let me go now!" Stewie yelled, but she held on to him and said:

"Huh, what is a little boy like you doing in a place like this?"

"Is that any of your concern, now let me go!" Stewie replied.

"Just let him go, now." The young captain told her, she had no choice but to put him down.

"My god! You and those boobs could have suffocated me of you hadn't let go of me sooner." Stewie gasped and yelled. "Alright, I just want some fucking answers on how and why I ended up in a place like this and I want to hear it!" While Stewie was completely pissed off and wanting a response, the two glared at him in shock and confusion.

"Rangiku?" he asked her.

"Yes?"

"Is it me or did that baby just talk?"

"He did, Captain."

Stewie, who was getting tired of the bullshit, yelled, "I'm tired of this bullshit, okay. One of you just tell me what's going on here and without you two fucking with me"

"Huh, it seems he doesn't know how he got here or why; is it possible that he has amnesia? He doesn't look like a regular soul and there no way he could have entered this place. However, I can somehow understand him, my captain can understand him too, but at least he talks and understands us so maybe I should ask him a few questions to make sure I'm right." She thought.

She begins to ask him a question. "What is your name?" Confused, he wondered who she asked him that question.

"If I tell you my name, then tell me your names and who are you" he replied. She quickly decided to agree with his request.

"Alright, my name is Stewie Griffin. So what's yours?"

"Okay, allow me to introduce ourselves." She said. "My name is Toshiro Hitsugaya, Captain of the 10th Division." He said without hesitation.

"And my name is Rangiku Matsumoto, Lieutenant of the 10th Division."

After the three exchanging names, Stewie says to them. "Huh? So you work for him?"

"Yes, he's my captain." Rangiku replied. Then silence broke out on that late night until Stewie began to laugh uncontrollably;

"Hah, ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh my god, are you fucking serious! My god, he's old enough to be your son!" Stewie laughed.

"You are too, bitch!" Toshiro replied back to him. After that comment, Rangiku proceeded to hit the two on the back of there heads and yelled:

"That's enough! I'm sorry I had to do that but keep quiet for god's sake." Stewie then agreed with her and stopped laughing.

Now it is 11:27 pm….

While the young captain, curvasious beauty of a lieutenant and the small, football-head child walked around the Seireitei while Stewie told stories about his adventures with his talking dog as he's in Rangiku's arms he asked them something.

"Hey, Guys?" he asked them.

"What?"

"What is up with those swords you guys are carrying around, don't you get in trouble for having weapons this late at night?"

"Well, Stewie." Rangiku tells him. "The swords me and my captain have is called a Zanpakutō, there primary weapons we Soul Reapers are given, each one has a different name, size, ability and appearance. These swords are more important as our own lives."

"Seriously?" Stewie replied. "I understand clearly but, isn't that a little much as saying a weapon is more important than you own fucking life? It's weird that you guys have something like these but there are others."

"Yes."

"Wow, I guess being a Soul Reaper is some pretty hard-" But then, there's silence when they hear the sound of a unknown number of Hollows in the city. This caught the attention of the two Soul Reapers.

"You know what we need to do. Don't you?" Toshirō said to .

"Yes, let's go, but wait, what about Stewie? We just can't leave him here."

"Don't Worry, just take me with you, I'll be safe." Stewie told them. Not wanting to get him hurt or killed, they decide to bring him along.

As the two try to defeat the Hollow army, the begin to get even more outnumbered which forced them to release there Zanpakutō; Stewie is watching from a distance and as he sees them about to get killed, he unleashes a weapon from out of nowere and fires at the Hollows, but is unsuccessful. With no choice, he runs to save them. When he reaches the destination, he heart stops for moment, as he laid there unconscious, with his new friends about to die, he hears his grandmother's voice; Telling him:

"Stewie! Stewie! You must release the power!"

Confused, he asked her,"What power?"

"The power that has been hidden inside you since the day you were born, you must unleash this power to save your friends. You may not know what I'm talking about, but the entire reason you were sent to the Soul Society. To become a hero. To become a Soul Reaper yourself"

Stewie is shocked that he is the only person capable to kill the Hollows and save his new friends, so he tapped deep into his inner being. He saw no other than his Soul Reaper self.

"I need you! I can't let them die! I must save them!" after those words, him and his inner Soul Reaper fused with him.

"I know what I have to do." Suddenly, a blast a spiritual power surrounded him, stopping a large Hollow from crushing the fuck out of him. Rangiku couldn't believe what her eyes were seeing, and she watched him slay every Hollow that he can get and soon enough, he killed them all and saved the both. Stewie later helps them up and both Toshirō and Rangiku couldn't believe that he was the real Stewie.

"Don't look so surprised, bitches." Stewie said to them. "I just saved your asses without even trying. So, let's just go, okay?" They nodded in agreement and went to bed "sort of?"

Two Week Later…

As Stewie, along with Captain Hitsugaya; is praised for saving the two 10th Division leaders, as he looks into the Captain-Commander's eyes.

"…and that was it, he effortlessly defeated the powerful Hollows and saved our asses, sir." Toshirō tells the Captain-Commander. As many wondered like why someone like Captain Hitsugaya was unable to defeat them. Either way, Stewie is given a big surprise by Captain-Commander Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto.

"Due to your strong amazing strength and your heroism, I am pleased to inform you that we have decided to put you among the ranks of a captain. We hereby name you, Stewie Griffin; as the new Captain of the 5th Division." Stewie is shocked that he has given the title of Captain;

"I am completely honored to be the new Captain of the 5th Division, even you all don't know me that well, I will not disappoint you all. Thank You." He says to all the present captains in the room.

Three Days Later, in Las Noches…

Sōsuke Aizen gets some interesting news from his bitches...I mean Espada. "Is it true, Tōsen?" Aizen said. "Did they really name a new captain to the 5th Division?"

"Yes. Although, I don't know his name." Kaname Tōsen replied.

"Bummer, I really wanted to know who it was. Oh well."

However, one of his espada, Ulquiorra Cifer tells him more. "His name is Stewie Griffin." Ulquiorra told him. "It has been told he is very strong"

"Really, now?" Aizen says with a grinnish look and leaves the room.

"Where are you going, Sōsuke?" Gin Ichimaru asks him.

"I'm going back to the Soul Society, I decided to have a little harmless fun" he replies while walking away.


	2. The Madness Begins!

Chapter Two: The Madness Begins: Captain Stewie Griffin meets Former Captain Sōsuke Aizen

It's been four months since Stewie Griffin became Captain of the 5th Division succeeding traitor Sōsuke Aizen, Stewie decided to appoint his dog/best friend Brian Griffin as his new Lieutenant after dropping the his old Lieutenant Momo Hinamori to Fourth Seat with the addition of 12th Division Lieutenant, Nemu Kurotsuchi, who was transferred to his division not long after becoming captain and made her, his Third Seat.

_At 1:36 pm Sunday…..at the 5th Division headquarters._

Captain Stewie Griffin was just sitting, doing paperwork in his newly renovated office with Lieutenant Brian Griffin. As they did there work, Stewie tells Brian something.

"Hey, Brian? Do you smell something?" Stewie asks him.

"Did you fart again? Because last time was just fucking nasty." Brian replied.

"No, I didn't fart. Its smells like a prick is appoaching us."

"Huh?"

Stewie and Brian stare at the door as the feel a douchebag-like presence is among them, when the door opens, they find noneother than Sōsuke Aizen in front of them.

"Looks like my search is complete" Aizen implies.

Stewie approaches him and says; "Sōsuke Aizen, just the bitch I need to see"

"Sooo? You're Stewie Griffin?" Aizen says as he is confused about what's going on.

"Yeah, What of it."

"I actually expected someone big at my size or something. Not a little kid."

"It seems you haven't heard much about me, huh? Stewie says to Aizen. "However, I have heard a lot of things about you, though."

"Oh really?" "Like What?"

"Like killing all the members of Central 46, stabbing your Lieutenant, escaping like a goddamn pussy, making a army of Espada and beating the shit out of a horse"

"That horse was looking at me funny and it was trying to strip Momo naked"

"Really? How?"

"I don't know. I was taunting tigers at the time."

Stewie sighs as Aizen continues to feed him bullshit. "You know, I'm getting tired of you right now"

"Why?" Aizen asked "Don't you like me, Stewie?"

"No"

"Why not? Why don't you love me? I'm a decent person. I just wanna make friends since most people hate me." Aizen cried. "I just want a friend to talk to, just someone to call my buddy."

"… You're a faggot."

"Maybe it's because i burned down a children's hospital last Christmas."

Brian curiously asks him; "Wait…what?"

"Huh?" Aizen says confused.

"Hold on? YOU BURNED DOWN A CHILDREN'S HOSPITAL!" Brian yelled.

"I was drunk…..and smoked some crack."

"You sadistic son of a whore. I just wanna spit on you fucking face, you faggot!"

Stewie nods in Brian's favor; "Yeah man, I've done some bad things but…you're a fucking asshole. My god, I still don't know how Momo was able to call you captain, dick."

"Sniff sniff. You are the best friends I've ever had; you are the only ones to call me curse words in such a sweet manner." Aizen says with a smile on his face.

"What?" Brian and Stewie said in a weird and confused way.

"GROUP HUG!" Aizen says happily and starts to hug Stewie and Brian.

"Stewie, what the fuck is wrong with this guy?" Brian whispers.

"I don't know, maybe he's on crack or something." Stewie whispers back.

"Hey, Mr. Widow's Peak, can you please get your fucking hand of of us."

"Well, since you said please." Aizen then proceeds to put them down. "By the way, where's Momo?"

"She's on a mission in the Human World; she won't be back for a couple weeks." Stewie says truthfully.

"Alright, I just wished she was here." Aizen replies.

"Why?" Brian asked.

"So I can fuck her crazy that's why, I just wanna take that flat-chest and rub my cock on it and fuck her ass so hard, she won't be able to sit straight for three weeks. Aizen says in a passionate way. Stewie and Brian are left speechless after hearing that.

"And that's what I wanted to do ever since I met her, I know she likes me but I don't like her in a romance standpoint more in a sexual standpoint."

"I wished I haven't heard that." Stewie sighs.

"Maybe it's best we don't tell Momo, agreed?" Brian whispered.

"…agreed."

Stewie sighs again and tells Aizen to leave or else he kicks his ass. Brian decides to go drink and try to forget everything he has heard. Aizen agrees to leave and goes to a Dairy Queen for ice cream.

END OF CHAPTER TWO. Will Stewie and Aizen get more aquainted next time, I hope not.


	3. Meet the Espada!

Note: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

Title: You're Twisted!

WARNINGS: This story also features very strong language, mild violence, sexual themes, nudity and mild drug use.

Chapter Three: Meet the Espada!

* * *

It has not been the greatest of days for Captain Stewie Griffin who been annoyed by Former 5th Division Captain, Sōsuke Aizen. After meeting him in his new office four day ago, he seems to have gotten a little more acquainted with him; like…yeah, just read.

_At about 6:00 pm Friday…at Stewie's house._

"This week has been a pain in my fucking ass, maybe some television, KFC, ice cream, and vice versa will help me get that dickhead Sōsuke Aizen out of my mind and all I gotta do is sit down and relax." Stewie thinking as he sits in his chair with junk food watching HBO, etc. until there was a knock on his door. He opens the door only to find out it's the man of his nightmares, Sōsuke Aizen. "Oh. It's you. What the fuck do you want this time, fag-a-tron?" Stewie says sarcastically.

"Well, it's my ten dear Espada is coming here just to meet you; the found you interesting so the wanted to come a see you in person. Even Gin and Tōsen are coming as well. I couldn't leave them alone. Aizen explains.

"When?" Stewie asked.

"Tomorrow. It will be awesome, just some people hanging out, with hard liquor, drugs like pot, crack and blow. And vice versa."

"Sounds like an awesome party…for adults, so I rather not get arrested, thank you."

"I'll be alright, man. Don't worry about a thing. See you tomorrow."

"Later." Stewie says and then slams the door "Goddamn that faggot pisses me off" He later walks away,

* * *

Now, back in the Soul Society, Stewie who is trying to get something installed into his kitchen, but all attempts failed. However, he notices the newly-appointed Lieutenant of the 12th Division, Ichigo Kurosaki who was walking by. Then he realizes he needs help with installing something for him.

"Yo, Ichigo!" the captain called out.

"What's up, Captain Griffin." The Lieutenant replies.

"Hey, what did I tell you, call me Stewie. There's no reason to be formal with me, man." Stewie says with a smile. "So, how's working with Kurotsuchi?"

"He's a fucking freak, that's all I can say about him, really."

"Okay, glad to know you two are working fine." he said gladly "Anyways can you help me with something?"

"Sure. What is it?" Ichigo asked.

"I need you to help me install something in my kitchen tonight."

"Tonight? Why can't do it now?"

"I want to get it done tonight before some company comes along."

"When."

"Around 8:30."

"Okay, See you then."

As Stewie will try to keep Aizen at bay, he knows it's gonna end badly for him and everyone else. Let's hope thing's don't get out of hand the very young captain.

* * *

_It's currently 7:50 pm… at his house_

Stewie knows around this time, Aizen and his Espada will come. And he's not gonna let that happen. He hears a knock on the door only to find him and his bitches…err I mean Espada has come, Stewie knows he gotta improvise with something stupid. Meanwhile, as Aizen and his Espada are waiting at his doorstep, someone get a little impatience.

"If this cock sucker isn't home, them I'm gonna smash the door open and rob that motherfucker" said the 6th Espada. "Slow your fuckin' horses, trash. Maybe he's getting ready or something?" said the 4th Espada. " *sigh* I knew this was a bad idea. That stupid ass rammer isn't even home, let say we rob his ass. "YEAH!" all the Espada yelled as the all grabbed something to smash down that door.

"Let's Wait." Aizen tells his pissed off espada. "Just give him five minutes."

_Five Minutes Later…_

"…Grimmjow?"

"Yes?"

"Smash this motherfucker down!"

"HELL YEAH, BITCH!" Grimmjow said before he punched the door literally of the hinges and bursted inside.

"Fuck yeah, look at all this cool shit, let's do it quick! Right after saying that, Stewie comes downstairs only to find the door smashed open, everybody inside which prompted him by saying.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Stewie yelled at him.

"Just to be clear, it was not my idea to bash the door open, it was Grimmjow's.

"Who the fucking king's ass is Grimmjow? Stewie yelled again at him before looking behind him.

"I am! Gotta problem with that, prick boy? Grimmjow says while behind him.

"I see, your one of his Espada's, aren't you?" Stewie asked Grimmjow.

"Damn right, Skeet Machine!"

"He's Number 6, by the way, just needed to tell you that. Alright, ladies. Lineup time!"

"Lineup time?" Stewie wondered.

"Stewie, Let me introduce you to my stronger Hollow family, this is Espada No. 1, Coyote Starrk. "Sup." Starrk says to him "

…and this is Espada No. 2, Baraggan Luisenbarn. "Hello; little boy." Baraggan says to him. And this is Espada No. 3, Tia Harribel. All she does is wave at Stewie. And here's Espada No. 4, Ulquiorra Cifer.

"You make my life a little less painful." Ulquiorra says to him.

Stewie looks up at Aizen in a weird way and says, "Is he always like this?"

"Yep." Aizen replies. And here's is Espada No. 5, Nnoitra Gilga. "I don't wanna waste my fucking time talking to this little shit." Nnoitra yelled.

"Hey, Nnoitra. I have a question? Are you Chief Wahoo's son?" Stewie fired back at Nnoitra and after that everybody started laughing."…anyways, let keep going, you know Espada No. 6, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. Well, you two already just exchanged, so let's move on, shall we? This is Espada No. 7, Zommari Leroux."

"Hey" Stewie says to Zommari in a mellow way.

"How's it going?" Zommari replied. "Okay, now this is Espada No. 8, Szayel Aporro Granz." Aizen introduces. "Hi, little baby, do you want some candy? Szayel Aporro asked him.

Stewie does not reply because he might say something wrong. "Just tell me the last ones, alright." He looks and says to Aizen.

"Alright, then; here is Espada No. 9, Aaroniero Arruruerie." Aizen replies and introduces. "Hello." Aaroniero says to him; Stewie is left speechless as he did nothing but stare.

"…is it me, or does Aaroniero looks like a walking dildo?" Stewie asked him in a confused way.

"Huh, really?" "I never really noticed before. Anyways, this is the last one, Espada No. 10/0, Yammy Riyalgo." Both Stewie and Yammy say nothing. Now that he has been introduced to his Espada, he wondered, Should he just kill them all or let them have a party since they came out to meet him; so he decided to do the nice thing and let them stay for a while. "Everybody, since I know your names, let me introduce myself, my name is Stewie Griffin, Captain of the 5th Division and I would like it as house guests, to stay for a party since you came all the way out here." He says warmly to them and soon enough, they had a party.

_Now it's 9:00 pm…_

Stewie wanted to be a good host and let them stay, but things got way too extreme. For example,

He watched as Starrk, Yammy and Zommari drink heavliy, Grimmjow is completely stoned eating chips, Harribel sits in his chair because Nnoitra have been annoying her all night, especially with the numerous amounts of racist jokes he's been blurting out all day. He also watches Ulquiorra take body shots off of Szayel Aporro, Baraggan and Nnoitra snorting cocaine on his new table and Aaroniero drinking as well while reciting rap songs. But he knew he could have prevented this from happening, but he couldn't as Stewie himself allowed this and watched them perform many different acts in his own house and just when he though things couldn't get worse, it does. He hears a knock on the door, hopefully wishing that it isn't the police. He opens the door and sees it none other than Ichigo Kurosaki who he invited over to help him with a task but his eyes can't believe what he was seeing:

"What the hell is going on?" Ichigo asks the small captain. "What are they doing in your house and what the fuck is all this shit?" as Ichigo wonders what is going on, Stewie tries to explain but is interrupted by Tia Harribel, the Third Espada as she begins to flirt with Ichigo:

"Hey, Sexy." Harribel says in a seductive voice. "I don't see men like you very much, what's your name?"

Scared out of his mind, "it's Ichigo Kurosaki." he said to the female Espada. she gets even close to him and not long, he is against the wall as her body pressed up to his.

"Have you ever had sex with a hollow, before?" she asked.

"No. Why?"

"You're gonna find out, my sexy friend." Harribel says as she wraps her arms around Ichigo's neck. She leans over to kiss him, but was stopped by Aizen.

"Hey, you know better." Aizen says to the third Espada. "You gotta work your way to your destination, you have to start at the neck then up, then work your way down."

"Oh, really, sir?"

"Hey! Don't give her tips on how to rape me." Ichigo yelled. "And you! get your fucking hands off of me."

"No. I want you!"

"Stewie! I need some help here."

"I wish i could, but I'm just too tired of this mess." Stewie replies. "Just take it like a man, at least she's offering it to you. shit, Aizen is always getting dissed at the clubs by some random dyke and he doesn't complain." he implied.

"You're mean."

"You're a faggot."

"Heh, heh. burn." Harribel laughs.

"Shit, I gotta agree on that one, too." Ichigo responded.

Stewie continues to rip on Aizen and the other Espada continue to act wild, Ichigo continues to get felt up.

_Now 12:37 am...still in his house_

Stewie maintains control as some of the Espada passes out. Everything is in good condition except hearing loud rocking noises from the ceiling. He walks upstairs to investigate but before he could get there he soon remembers that he saw a flirty Harribel drag Ichigo upstairs with her twenty minutes ago which only meant she is having sex with him. "Poor, Ichigo. She's stealing his virginity. Well, it was gonna happen anyways." Stewie says to himself.

Stewie looks behind him only to find Aizen on the couch, smoking crack. He looks at him and said under his breath, "Fucking crackhead."

"I heard that. I'm not deaf, you know. Aizen implied.

"Why?" Stewie says with a annoyed look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"It's you, you have been a pain in my fucking ass all night. I mean, most of them is either drunk or high and one is in my bed, riding the fuck out of Ichigo. You're just lucky that the police didn't come or i would have knocked the shit out of you, asshole!" Stewie explains to him. "And where's the other two?"

"Oh, they left around 8:30. they were bored. Do you have any tea? It soothes me."

"I rather have five shots of vodka, right now."

"Okay. Do you have any?

" *sighs* Yeah, in the cabinet."

As Aizen makes his cup of tea and Stewie tries not to bash his head open, the ceiling noises stop.

"Hmm? They stopped?" Aizen curiously asked. "I think so. *yawns* I'm going to bed in here. I'll let them stay for the night."

"Do you mean all the Espada?"

"Oh, god no! I mean Ichigo and Harribel, obviously."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow." Aizen tells him, then wakes up and gathers them so they can leave. Stewie remains pissed as shit because of all this, he cleans up a little and goes to sleep. Trying not to remember any of this in the morning.

_Nine Hours Later..._

Ichigo wakes up in Stewie's bed naked with one of the ten Espada. Harribel greets him and after a short talk, they both leave. Before she walked out the door, she gives Ichigo her number. "If you want some more action, call me." she says to him before she flashsteps away from the house; Ichigo is speechless as he stands there.

"Son of a bitch." Ichigo says before walking off.

* * *

END OF CHAPTER THREE.


	4. Hired Help

Note: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

Title: You're Twisted!

A/N: You know I like doing these fan-fictions but that won't stop me from editing on YouTube. Anyways, sorry I'm late on this, I usually post new chapters if it's three chapters separated from the current one. This one features some change and a appearance from a very unusual person. Enjoy?

* * *

Chapter Four: Hired Help.

* * *

5th Division Captain Stewie Griffin has had enough of Sōsuke Aizen as he has gotten on his last nerve, so he decided to knock his ass out if he tried to talk or get close to him. however, he thought of getting someone to do it for him and the ones he decides to go to the Visoreds and got him some help.

_its 3:21 pm, in the 5th Division headquarters..._

"Alright, you already know about Sōsuke Aizen so listen, if that faggot tries to get close to me, you knock out that prick with this cinder block which is strapped to this chain. Think you can do this?" Stewie explains to the Visored who is revealed to be Lisa Yadōmaru, the former lieutenant of the 8th Division.

"Yeah, sure. But don't expect me to do this for free." Lisa replied.

"How about a thousand bucks, up front plus three thousand if you do a good job."

"Alright, better than nothing, I suppose."

After the talk, his Lieutenant, Brian Griffin enters the room. "Hey, Stewie, How's it goin-" Brian says to him before Lisa levels him to the ground with the cinder block. "AHHH, WHAT THE FUCK! DAMN IT!" Brian yelled out.

"Um, Brian? This is Lisa Yadōmaru, she was a Lieutenant before Aizen turned her and some others into Visoreds."

"Okay, I know about that, but why the fuck did she hit me?"

"That's a very good question, why did you hit him?"

"Practice." Lisa simply said to him.

"...Alright, moving on."

"What? Why are you just dismissing this?"

"I don't care, let's just do something else, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

* * *

_One hour later..._

Stewie sits in his desk chair as he does paperwork, Brian just lays on the couch watching TV and Lisa is sitting on the other couch, twirling the cinder block-attached chain in one hand and reading a erotic manga in the other. Stewie notices her doing both, "How's that even possible?" he thought to himself. While everybody was relaxed or doing work, Sōsuke Aizen appears before them, prompting the three to get up and draw there weapons.

"How's it going, Stew?" Aizen said to him.

"Stew?" he asked.

"What's wrong, don't like it when i call you that?" he says as he approaches him. "Anyways, I came to-!" he said but was interrupted when he was struck hard in the face by a cinder block which bitch-slapped him to the othe side of the office.

"MOTHERFUCKER! What the fuck was that for?" Aizen angrily asked. He was once again re-introduced to Lisa Yadōmaru, one of the victims involved with Aizen's crazy Hollow experiment. Apparently, she didn't forget about him or what happened years ago.

"Get out of way, you crazy bitch." Aizen told her.

"No." she replied; "I would like to tell you why she's here with a cinder block and a chain..." Stewie tells him.

"I have gotten tired of you recently like sending all your Espada to my house last week including all the shit you've done around me so just don't want you close to me so i paid Lisa to knock your ass senseless if you tried to get near me." Stewie explained.

"Your not alone, bitch already hit me before you got here. Knocked out four of my teeth."

"Damn. So you are gonna have her bodyguard you?"

"No. I wanted her to knock your ass out badly and she did pretty good. I was mad and now I'm entertained; so i don't really need her anymore; Lisa, you're business is no longer needed and for wounding him badly, here's four thousand bucks plus the bonus."

Lisa thanks him then asked, "Can I hit him one more time?"

"Sure, why not." he replied. She soon proceeded to hit him but he blocked it which resulted in him getting kicked in the nuts for blocking. She leaves the office after that. After two hours of pain and one extra hour of annoyance, Stewie has enough of him and hits him again with the cinder block and leaves the room.

* * *

_The following day..._

Stewie decides to walk around the Seireitei since he was so tired with work. While he was walking, he bumps into Momo Hinamori, his former lieutenant until he demoted her to fourth seat. "Captain?" Momo asked as she looked at him. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, did you already forget? Damn, woman." he replied.

He notices that Momo looks alot different since she went on that mission as her body had some mild changes. She looked a little older than before, she no longer wore her hair in a bun as she wore her hair down. Even her breasts had changed, as there twice as big than before around a double-D-cup (sort of?). Stewie did nothing but stare before asking, "Momo, what the fuck happened to you, did you get breast implants while you were there?" she blushed after he asked that question, "No. Believe it or not, they started to grow while i was there then, i woke up to a hotter body. I was a little scared of what happened to my body but i just accepted it and finished the remainder of the mission." she explained.

"Okay, I understand, but what happened to your hair bun?" he asked Momo.

"Oh, it's right here." she replied as she pulls it out from her uniform. "Here it is."

Stewie continues to look at her while remembering what Aizen said days ago wondering if he was joking or was serious about doing what he said to him and Brian. Not wanting to tell her he's back and risk her getting raped, he chose not to tell her. "Well, I'm glad your back, Momo. Remember to protect yourself." Stewie told her.

"Thank you, Captain. I'm glad to be back." Momo responded. They both walk away.

Stewie goes to his office to pick up some things but while he's walking with papers in his hand, he bumps into Aizen. "Goddamn it, not again." he said quietly to himself.

"Hello, Stewie. Nice day."Aizen says nicely; Stewie begins to wonder why every single day, he somehow has to deal with him. "I wanted to know if you wanted to go to a theme park this weekend?" he asked.

"You know they idiots like you get arrested when people see a grown man getting close to a small boy in public." he said clearly. "Besides, i don't wanna go anywhere with you after all the fucking shit you've put me through."

"Alright, if you don't want to go, that's fine. Maybe we can do something else, like sparring or something."

"I rather not. Even in practice, I'll still kick your ass back to the douche bag planet you came from." he implied.

"Really?. I bet I'll beat you in sparring."

"No, I rather not. Tell you what, I'll let you hang out with me if you keep your goddamn mouth shut, how's that?" he offered. Aizen is intrigued by the offer, and accepts it, "You can't stop me from talking if you have not noticed."

"Just shut up and come with me."

* * *

_Meanwhile at 9:21 pm...at some restaurant._

"You better watch yourself, buddy." Stewie warns him. "I'm not kidding!"

"Why?" Aizen replies.

"Let's review, shall we?, You bitch-slapped a five-year old for no apparent reason, grabbed a waitress's ass and literally pissed on someone's food. I'm still surprised we haven't got kicked out because of you." he explained.

"That's not so bad."

"YOU BITCH-SLAPPED A FIVE YEAR OLD!"

"Don't see the problem."

"Dear god, you just watch it, faggot or else I'll beat the shit out of you."

As the two argue, Brian and Nemu arrive with Momo to celebrate her return. She asked simply, "Is this really necessary?. Taking me out here?"

"Yeah, is this really necessary?" Nemu asked.

"Of course, Stewie told everybody that to treat each other like family, and that's why we are here." Brian explained. Both of them didn't expect that answer.

...as they sit at separate tables far from each other, Momo leaves to buy the two a drink, while Aizen decides to do the same but after the events before they came there, Stewie comes with him. "Why are you following me?" he asked.

"After the shit you've been doing tonight, I'm gonna watch your ass." Stewie replied in a angry tone. Momo buys the drinks for them and leaves but before she leaves, Stewie and Aizen walk by her and not long, he notices her. "Momo?" he said.

She gasped and replied back; "Captain.. Captain Aizen?. Is that you?"

"Yes, it's me, your precious captain."

"Oh, sweet Jesus." Stewie says as he face palms but meanwhile, Nemu quickly notices Aizen and Momo together as her and Brian immediately leaves the table to retrieve her but Stewie notices Nemu whispering to him and watched them get here.

"Guys, hurry quick." he says when they finally arrive to intervene. "Momo! There you are!" Brian quickly said as Nemu pushes him back from her but Aizen is speechless as he's distracted by her body.

"Are you trying to hit on her, you son of a bitch?" Brian yelled but he's doesn't respond. Brian notices he was looking at her chest and said, "You dirty fucking pervert, don't you dare try to touch her, asshole!"

"Come on, Momo. We're going home." Nemu said as she grabs and takes her away from him. Right after they leave, Stewie shakes his head and tries to talk to him. "Yo, Aizen...speak to me, bitch!" he yelled to him until he finally responds.

"Holy shit." Aizen finally responds. "...Did you see her, Stewie?"

"Yeah, I bumped into her this afternoon. Why?"

"Back then, She was like a teenager but now, she's fucking hot! And those titties, man; they looked so fucking awesome!"

"You might wanna stop before I hit you with that cinder block again." Stewie warned him again. "Let's just leave before the owner shoots us." They pay the bill and leave the place. it seems Aizen will have lovely dreams tonight.

* * *

Chapter Four Omake.

While the two sit on a couch, watching violent movies and drinking booze, Stewie askes Aizen a question.

"Hey, i want to know something? What are the Espada and what are they for? he asked.

"Well I'm glad you asked. The Espada are a group of Arrancars led by me, there are ten of them, all are very strong. I made them in what they are so i can take over this world with nobody to stop them." Aizen explains. "There basically my unstoppable army who does everything i command them to do and they can't do anything about it. Like do my laundry, cook me food, suck my dick, have them sell sex for money and kill anyone who stands in my way of my plans. And that's your answer."

"They sound more like your bitches than an fucking army."

"I don't see that. To me, were like family."

"Still, sounds more like your bitches."

"Whatever."

Stewie lets out a sigh and quietly said "This guy is so muthafucking retarded."

"P.S, if you want to know, Grimmjow makes the most money."Aizen whispers to him.

"I'm not surprised."

* * *

END OF CHAPTER FOUR


	5. Keeping A Close Eye

Note: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

* * *

Chapter Five: Keeping a Close Eye.

It hasn't been the best of weeks for Stewie Griffin, the captain of the 5th Division as almost every day, he has been involved in Sōsuke Aizen's random acts of stupidity like inviting his Espada army to a unexpected party at his house, acting like a fool at a restaurant and mainly, driving Stewie to the edge. Five days ago, Aizen moved into his house as his roommate, which prompted him to keep a watchful eye on his crazy ass.

_Currently 9:30am, Friday..._

Stewie Griffin wakes up to a perfect morning so to add to the perfect morning, he decides to make his "perfect" breakfast while he listens to Aerosmith on the radio, just as he finishes cooking a large breakfast, he finds his new roommate, Sōsuke Aizen coming downstairs wearing nothing but boxers and a white undershirt, scratching his crotch as he came down. Seeing him scratch his genitals gave Stewie a horrified and disgusted face which made him want to puke out every organ he had.

Aizen looks at him and says, "Good morning, Stewie. Whatcha cooking?"

"What...the...FUCK!" Stewie yelled. "Why the fuck are down here in your underwear, that's disgusting."

"I don't know, feels more comfortable when i am." Aizen says carelessly. "Plus, great shit playing, dude." Stewie continues to wonder why he let him stay in his house; Aizen reaches for some bacon but Stewie bitch-slaps him with a hot medal spatula and said, "You not touching a single piece until you take a fucking shower and change your clothes. Just because we now have to live together doesn't mean you can come downstairs in your underwear."

"Well, sorry. I'll take a shower now."

"Good. You smell like you fucked a dead hooker."

"Heh heh. Yeah, that's funny."

"...you fucked a dead hooker, didn't you?

"...Yes."

"Fucking creep."

After Aizen takes a shower and puts on some clean clothes, he goes downstairs to get himself some breakfast. as they eat, he tells him about something...

"Yo, Stewie? Did you see Momo last Sunday?" Aizen asked openly.

"Yes." he groaned. "To be fair, She looked hotter than she did before."

"I just wanna tap that ass even more, I still hope she's still a virgin."

"...pedophile."

"Shut up, boy!"

Stewie grunted, "You do know I can throw your ass out if I wanted to. But hell, your a lot better company than Brian and that's saying something."

"Thank you, but I still wanna fuck Momo. Maybe I'll ask her on a date and then turn on the charm to get her in bed."

"You mean like telling bad jokes that make her fall asleep." he jokingly replied.

"Fuck off, football-head."

"Eat a dick, bitch curl!"

"Whatever, I'm gonna holla at Momo and see if she'll suck my dick."

"Good luck with that, queer boy"

Aizen then storms off for his targeted pussy; Stewie is still not convinced he'll get in bed with her.

* * *

_Currently 2:47 pm, somewhere in the Seireitei..._

Aizen searches for Momo as he tries to seduce her into sex and after five hours searching, he found her.

"Momo..." He called out she notices and goes to him.

"Hello, Sōsuke." she greeted him.

He questioned, "Sōsuke? Since when did you start calling me by my first name?"

"I don't know, since i decided not to call you captain anymore." Momo answered. "As much as it hurts me, Stewie's now my captain, not you."

"I see. Call me anything you want but that's what i wanted to ask you."

"What is it then?"

Stewie finds the two as he tries to follow through with what he said to him almost two weeks ago and what he said this morning.

"I wanted to ask you if you wan-" Aizen said until the conversation is intervened by Stewie.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?" he asked.

"Oh nothing, just talking about some things."

"Like asking her on a date?"

"You want to go on a date with me?"

"Wait...What?..Damn it."

"Yes. How about tonight?

"Sounds good. See you then."

Stewie did nothing but face palm after saying that and soon after, Aizen tells him, "Thanks for the help, man. I owe you one."

"Shut your fucking mouth." Stewie screeched. He walked away trying not to shank him to death.

* * *

_A/N: Shane Dawson parody in 5...4...3...2..1...now. Thank you._

* * *

p.s, I don't know what exactly what was said because i only know some of it.

Aizen gets ready for his "date" upstairs, he puts on a white, designer suit, puts on a pretty expensive cologne that Stewie would obviously would make fun of. "Looking good" He said to himself as he does some things in the mirror and starts to "kiss" himself in the mirror as well. he goes downstairs to leave until Stewie puts down the newspaper he was reading and says to him, "Cut your hair, you pussy."

"Stewie, I don't want to cut my hair." He protested.

"Then change your clothes, you look like a fudge-packer."

"Fudge-pac-I don't even know what that is."

"Sure you don't...ass climber."

"Okay, i'm going. Anymore insults?"

"You have the body of a 13-year old chinese girl"

"Alright, Stewie"

"You look like you brush your teeth with cat shit."

"Can I go now?

"Why can you be perfect like your army?"

"Alright, I'm going now. Bye."

"Wait, you got something on your face."

"Oh really, What?"

"...Gay."

"Stewie, I'm not gay!"

He proceeds to laugh as he says, "That's the best joke i heard all day." Stewie continues to laugh as Aizen storms out the door. "Pussy." he said after he left. Not long after leaves, Brian enters his house finding him on his chair.

"You know, there's something called knocking if you don't know." Stewie said openly.

"Sorry about that." Brian says. "Where's that douchebag now?"

"He's on a date with Momo. I don't know when he's coming back."

"What! What do you mean he's on a date with her. We gotta stop him."

"Way ahead of you, I'm already about to follow him around so i can watch what he does."

"That's what i want to hear. Let's go!" Brian and Stewie proceeds to walk out the door.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at 10:15 pm..._

Brian and Stewie had followed them everywhere, from the restaurant to the streets and the entire time, they never noticed them or been aware of them following. While they walk in a street full of paper lights and many beautiful sights, they begin to talk, "This place is so beautiful. Thanks for bringing me here, Sōsuke." Momo told him.

"You're welcome, I'm glad you're enjoying it so far." Aizen said with a fake smile.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure what?

"Are you and Stewie friends because I've noticed you and him have been hanging out recently."

Aizen thought about it for a second before he responded, "Yes, we are sort of good buddies. We don't know much about each other but he's a good kid."

"I'm glad that you guys are cool with each other, maybe i can know a little more about him too."

He thought to himself, "Even though we haven't known each other long, Shit I still want to know more about him as I find him interesting"

Momo yawns while they walk through the part of the city, "Are you tired?" he asked "nicely".

"Yeah, I'm a little sleepy."

"Jackpot." Aizen said as silent as he could.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Let me take you to a hotel, so you can rest yourself."

Brian whispered while in the bushes, "Yeah fucking right..."

"What was that?" Momo asked him after she heard what sounded like Brian.

"Don't know, maybe you're hearing things."

"Yeah, I think you're right. Let's go then."

"Alright, Stewie. There going to a hotel, what should we do?...Stewie?" Brian asked until he noticed that Stewie was no longer with him. He looked all over with no trace of him. "Damn it."

Meanwhile, at a Home Depot, Stewie goes to the cash register to buy a hammer, "Okay, that will be $9.95, thank you." The cashier says. Stewie proceeds to give him the money but he wondered why the cashier never mentioned why someone his age was at a Home Depot this late at night buying a hammer.

"Thank you, have a nice evening." The cashier proceeds to say to him as he leaves the place. Stewie then realized he was not very far from them as they was still downtown and he was only several miles away.

"Where the fuck is Brian? I'm gonna call him." He said to himself while taking out his cellphone and calls him. He was lucky that he got a answer, "Brian? You there?"

_"Yeah, I'm here but where the hell are you?" He asked._

"Outside a Home Depot just about to go back downtown"

_"Well that's not the point, Aizen is taking Momo to a hotel room. Right now."_

"What!" He screeched. "Where?"

_"I heard him say he was gonna take her to the Hilton hotel. It's only 30 miles from where I am right now. How far are you from that hotel?"_

Stewie looked around until he saw the building not far from Home Depot, "Not far. I'm just about close to it."

_"Well, hurry up there on there way."_

"Alright. Keep a close eye on them until i get there."

_"Okay, bye." _He said before both of them rushed to the hotel.

The two division leaders rushed to the place to stop his plans, Stewie was lucky to get to the place but they were already arrived. Aizen had already ordered the room and took her there, he then busted through the glass doors, with a furious look on his face as he looked like he was about to commit a murder. The lady at the front desk asked him, "Little boy, what are you doing here?"

"Did a man with mullet-like hair with a hair curl come in here with a young woman?" Stewie asked while trying to keep his cool.

"Uhh...yes, two people as you described came in not very long ago."

"How long ago?"

"About eleven minutes ago, why?"

"I need to talk to him, where are they!"

"Room #352, it's one of the honeymoon suites." she said with a slight confused look.

"Thank you for the help." Stewie said before storming off to the room. Meanwhile, in the room they were now in, Things begin to get steamy.

"This room is so beautiful, I just need some sleep." Momo said happily. Aizen then took of his jacket and threw it to side, he then proceeded to grab her softly and said, "Momo, do you know exactly why i brought you here?"

"No, why?"

"To make you into a full woman."

She blushed when he said that and then told him, "Umm, i'm not sur-" Her sentence was interrupted as Aizen kisses her. "You know exactly what I mean, Momo." He lays her on the bed softly as he kissed her from the neck and then made it all down her midsection. Momo immediately stopped him and said, "I not sure if i'm ready for this."

"You don't have to worry about a thing. Let me do all the work and you just relax."

"Okay." She said when a tear fell out of her eye. "I love you. and I want you." After some touching and kissing, he began to take off her clothes until they hear the door being smashed open and then before there eyes, they saw a pissed off Stewie as he nothing but glare at him with murderous intent.

"Captain?" she asked when Stewie jumped on the bed, grabbed Aizen's hair and threw him to the ground.

"What the fuck was that for and why are you here?"

"You know exactly why the fuck I'm here." He hissed while still giving him a nasty glare. "I'm just glad I've been watching you."

"What's going on?" Momo asked in confusion. "Captain, what are you doing here?"

"Stay out of this. Or else you want to die with him."

"Stewie, Leave! Now!" Aizen yelled. Stewie doesn't say anything but stare at him with disgust, "Okay, have it you're way." he said without an angry tone. "But before I go...Let me give you something." Stewie then proceeds to take out a hammer he bought earlier from behind his back and smashes Aizen's foot with it, he falls to the floor, screaming in deep agony while Stewie runs out the door laughing, "COCKBLOCKIN' BITCH!" he yelled out before leaving the hotel room.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, kind of. Shit that hurt!"

"It's okay, sit down on the bed. I'll get something to keep it from swelling."

Stewie passed by Brian at the entrance with a hammer with a laughing grim on his face, "What did you do?" he asked.

"I just stopped Aizen's plan instantly." Stewie replied with a evil tone sounding like he killed him. They both go home leaving them at the hotel meanwhile, Momo heals him after having his foot nearly crushed by Stewie,

"That boy...is really something." Aizen chuckled quietly while his foot is healed. After a very long day for the young captain, Stewie takes a bath and goes to sleep when he mumbled to himself, "I now realize that he annoys me and I rip and beat on his ass. But he's still more fun to fuck with than Brian, I suppose."

* * *

Chapter Five Omake

Picture Stewie, Aizen and Gin as Run-D.M.C. and there you go.

* * *

END OF CHAPTER FIVE


	6. Finding Out

Disclaimer: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

A/N: You know what, I'll update this whenever I want. New chapter in two weeks, maybe...

* * *

Chapter Six: Finding Out

Stewie Griffin's life has been a roller coaster since he became captain of the 5th Division, the former captain of the same division, Sōsuke Aizen later popped up in his life unexpectedly as he's put him through many different situations that almost get them arrested and/or injured (mostly Aizen.) furthermore, even Brian Griffin and Momo Hinamori has been involved in these daily situations as well. Stewie is still learning how to live with a evil, insane, god-obsessed, and mostly stupid man like Sōsuke Aizen but hey, life isn't always a walk in the park that is unless, if you're these guys. But his father, Peter Griffin and Glenn Quagmire one of his friends, finds out a little more about his son's life than he already knew.

_It's 10:05 am, in Spooner Street. Quagmire curiously asks Peter about something._

"Hey, Peter." Quagmire greeted him from his doorstep.

"Good Morning, Quagmire. What's going on?" Peter replied.

"Can I ask you about something?"

"Sure, What is it?"

"Have you seen your son lately?"

"What? Chris?"

"No."

"Stewie?"

"Yeah."

"What about him?"

"Well...I've been seeing him around town with this guy that looks twice his age. and then earlier that day, I saw Brian with those guys too. And while I was in Boston last week, I saw Stewie and Brian following the guy around town with this chick and she was hot..."

"Wait wait. What?" Peter stopped his sentence when he heard what he said. "What did the guy look like? and how old did look, like a teenager?"

"Nope. More like a adult in his mid-20s. He basically had brown hair with a mullet including a strand of hair between his face. He also had most of a "douche bag" kind of look."

"Boy, that's pretty strange. What would he be doing with a guy like that? Did the guy try anything sexual on him?"

"Not exactly. In fact, Stewie grabbed his leg and punched him in the throat and said _'What did say about __talking, faggot.'_. I don't know what he said to him but it seems they've known each other for a while."

"Okay, I'll make sure I look into that. Thanks for telling me, Quagmire"

"Don't mention it. You still up for The Clam later today?"

"You bet you're fucking ass I am"

"Sweet. I'll see you later then."

Peter looked at him and said. "Alright. Later." Peter thought about what he told him and wondered why his youngest son would be hanging out with a man twice his own age. He goes back into the house and talks to his wife, Lois who was sitting in the living room reading.

"Hey, honey." He greets her with a kiss to the cheek. "Can I ask you about something? It's..."

Lois stopped him and replied. "...Is about Stewie and that man he's been with recently?"

"You know?"

"Yeah. I heard your conversation with Quagmire a while ago. I don't get it either but I'll ask Stewie about it when we visit him."

"Okay, but there's still one thing I haven't really figured out. When exactly did he move out because he vanished without a trace."

Lois, who is still reading her book answered him. "Hmm, I don't know. Little weird ain't it?"

"How can you find it weird? He's been gone for around three months now and you find it weird?"

"Well It's not the first time Stewie disappeared without us noticing." she stated. "Remember the time he followed Brian to college, Including moving in with him. plus the time he and Brian went with Quagmire on his cross-country trip."

"Hold on, when the fuck was this?"

Not taking her eyes from the book, she simply said. "I dunno." Peter wanted to yell out why but he decides not to say another word and just walk off.

* * *

Meanwhile, Stewie sat on his chair, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper peacefully until that peace was shattered when 'you-know-who' came busting in the room.

Aizen came down yelling with his laptop in his hand. "Stewie! Stewie! Look what I found!"

"Let me guess, You found 2 Girls 1 Cup?" Stewie asked carelessly.

"Uh. No. Even better!"

"You're virginity?"

"Alright, now that's not cool." Aizen opens the laptop and puts it in Stewie's face. "This!"

The screen had nothing but a picture of a large ranch in which was up for sale, Stewie looked at it with confusion and just asked. "What the fuck is this?"

"It's a Cattle ranch, stupid."

"Okay, Why are you showing me a picture of a cattle ranch?"

"It's on sale for at least twelve grand. and it's in Texas so you know it's good. I'm showing you this because I'm gonna buy it next week."

Stewie slams his hand with his face and yelled. "Why the FUCK do you need a ranch for, dumbass? What do you expect to do with it?"

"So I can flip it, that's why. I saw it was in pretty bad shape so i came up with a idea to buy it, fix it up and sell it for about ten times what it's worth now."

"That's the stupidest thing you ever thought of. Besides, it won't work, idiot. And I tried and it resulted in someone getting killed."

"You bought a ranch before and how did that person die?"

"No, it was a house and I kind of burned the place down myself."

"Wow, man. I didn't know that you were that hardcore."

"I've done worse. What I'm wondering is...if it's in bad shape? Then why sell for $12,000?"

"Dunno; Alright, then. I'm leaving."

"Selling yourself in broad daylight, again?"

"...No. I'm gonna go and get me some hot poon."

"Let me guess? Is it Momo?"

"You read my mind like a book."

"Just get your butt-fucking ass out of here, man." Stewie yelled while he was at the door but before he got out the door, he went to get a coat until they hear a knock on the door. Stewie pushes Aizen out of the way and said."Move, faggot." and opens the door only to find it being his parents at the door.

Lois picks up Stewie and said. "Stewie! I've missed you so much!"

He mumbled under his breath. "Too bad I haven't."

"I bet it's been so lonely living here all alone. But first I wanted to ask you something?"

"Yeah. What?" Stewie answered.

She began to talk until Peter moved her aside and asked him. "We want to know who was that person you were with last week?"

"Huh? What do you mean."

"Some man with brown hair and a mullet with a strand of hair between his face?" Lois immediately questioned him. A little confused, he soon realized what they were talking about.

Stewie picks up Aizen from the back of the door and said. "Oh, you mean this asshole."

"Hello. I see you're Stewie's parents."

"Um, guys. This is Sōsuke Aizen. He's my roommate. I know it sounds weird but the reason he's here is because I need some other company other than Brian so that's why he's here."

"Uh huh. Stewie, can we speak to you in private."

"You heard her. Go. We need to talk."

Aizen decided not to protest and said. "Fine, I was gonna go anyways." and proceeds to walk out the door. Both of them still needed more answers from Stewie, so he leads them into the living room and makes them comfortable.

Peter opens up and asked. "Okay, now tell us more about that guy?"

Lois also added. "He's right so tell us what you know about this man. What does he do? and Where did you and Brian meet him?" Stewie was now in a tough spot, he didn't want to tell them who he really is at the risk of revealing the Soul Society's existence. He then went right out with it and revealed who he is.

"Well about one year ago, me and Brian met him at this convention. We talked for a while and really went to know each other." Stewie explained. "Plus, he's a lawyer with offices in Washington and Arizona. However, his house burned down a while back and I said he can live here until he's able to get a new place."

Peter and Lois didn't know if his story was believable but all they needed to know about him was what he does, if he knew more about him and when did they meet him.

"Well okay, Stewie. We were just concerned and I think it's nice of you to bring someone in who was in need of help." Lois praised him for his "good deed".

Stewie mumbled. "Uh...th...thank you."

"_Huh. Who knew?" _Peter thought. After telling Peter and Lois his "story", they leave and before walking out the door, Peter told Stewie one last thing.

"If anything goes wrong, then contact us."

Stewie replied. "Don't worry, Brian checks up on things every day and such." Then, they leave without saying anything else. Stewie soon forgot what Aizen said before he left but he then remembered him saying he was gonna try to have sex with Momo after he stopped him last time. He then rushed off to the Soul Society to intervene.

* * *

_Now 2:30pm...in the Seireitei where Stewie tries to stop Aizen's new plans._

Stewie wanders the streets, looking for Aizen and trying to keep his member in his pants, but he then bumped into someone.

"Hey, watch it, lady." Stewie hissed but he then realized something, "Huh, you look really familiar. Have we meet?"

"Wh..what? I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry to...Stewie? Is that you?" The woman asked who is revealed to be Rangiku Matsumoto, the same lieutenant he met the day he became a Soul Reaper over four months ago. Stewie however, doesn't seem to remember her.

"Wait, how do you know my name." he asked. "...oh wait, I'm a captain."

"Oh, come on, Stewie. You remember who I am." Rangiku stated.

"Sorry but, I can't reme-" Stewie responded until cut his own sentence and blacked out and has a flashback,

_"And my name... is Rangiku Matsumoto, ...Lieutenant of the 10th Division." _He soon regains conciseness after he zoned out and soon enough, Stewie then remembered her name,

"Rangiku." he blurted out. "You're name is Rangiku, right?"

"Yes. Now you remember."

"Oh god, how long has it been, I mean you haven't changed a bit."

"Thank You."

"I mean you still got more curves and boobs than Michelle Beadle."

* * *

_2nd A/N: Fuck it, there the hosts of 'SportsNation' and I put them in here to set up the joke...Deal with it. Back to the story..._

_Meanwhile, at the ESPN headquarters and studios in Bristol, CT..._

Colin Cowherd is suddenly hit behind his head with a mug and pushed off his chair by his own co-host, rubbing the back of his head, he yelled. "Ahh, what the fuck was that for?"

His co-host, Michelle Beadle, responded. "Sorry, I just got angry all of a sudden"

"Well you didn't have to hurt me." Colin added. "Damn, girl. Control yourself."

Michelle then snapped at him, "Well sorry, asshole. I just had to let off some steam, Okay."

"Guys, were on in 60 seconds." said by the producer.

"Shit. Colin, we gotta start."

"Oh yeah, one more thing, stop cursing on the set or you'll get us all in trouble."

"Oh sorry." Michelle said without any further comment.

"I think my head is bleeding." Colin stated.

"Shut up and take it like a man."

"...Fine."

_Now, back the the Soul Society..._

Stewie has a fairly long conversation with Rangiku while they walk through the city, and at the same moment, both Stewie and Rangiku remembered what they were supposed to be doing.

"Hey, I gotta go, I need to keep Aizen's perverted ass from getting to Momo. I'll talk to-" Stewie told her until his sentence was cut when she heard "his" name.

"Wait, what did you say?" Rangiku asked. "Did you just say what I though you said? Are you telling me that Sōsuke Aizen is inside the Seireitei?"

"I think so. He's been coming and going for three months now, so far he's pissed me off and the asshole now lives with me."

"Hmm...interesting. I gotta go and get this work done."

"Alright, see you later then."

"Okay." The two walk away to there destinations but Rangiku then contacts her captain about something.

"Sir, I have some news that you must hear; the traitor Aizen is in the Seireitei. in fact, Stewie is in pursuit to catch him."

_"...Are you drunk again?" _he asked.

"No and furthermore, he said he's currently searching for Momo."

_"What! I'm on my way, follow him."_

"Yes, sir."

In about five minutes searching, Stewie finds Momo and hopes that he arrived just in time.

"Captain? What are you doing?" Momo asked as her captain lies before her, Stewie however, doesn't respond to her question, he then says, "I need to ask you about something."

"What?"

Stewie walks up to her, looked her dead in the eye and asked, "I need about tree-fiddy."

Completely lost, she thought that he was gonna ask a question about Aizen. but it seems like he was making a joke but the look in his eyes and face showed he has dead serious.

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you. but there's still one question I gotta ask..."

"Yes."

"Did that dick come here to talk to you?"

"Uh, no. Why?"

"You lying, girl" Stewie jokingly asked, impersonating a black man's voice.

"What no. I haven't seen him all day. In fact, I haven't talked to him since that "accident" back at the hotel last week."

"Oh yeah, now I remember. Heh, that was great."

"Why did you do it?"

"Huh?"

"I thought you guys were friends and you did that."

"Hey, we're still friends." Stewie stated then muttered quietly. "..sort of."

"Well, you shouldn't have done that. Even if it was him, It's not right."

"Whatever." Stewie answered. "If your gonna lecture me about what I can and cannot do, then don't. You gotta remember that I'm your fucking captain and defending the guy won't help you. I know you're still haven't gotten over him but I got bigger shit to deal with. If you don't like it then just-"

Momo then interrupted his sentence and screeched, "Shut your fucking mouth!"

Stewie couldn't believe that one of his subordinates would talk to him like that, he didn't want to argue with her because if he did, he would do something that he would regret. He tried to tell her to stop but he's again interrupted, "He may be evil, he may had betrayed me and everybody else but that doesn't mean that you can disrespect him like calling him a faggot, insulting him and all the shit you've said and did to him that gives you no right to do such things."

Soon enough, Stewie couldn't resist himself from yelling but he was truly pissed at her comments. "You know what, bitch? You can just shut your fucking mouth. I'll do whatever I want, when I want and you can just accept it. If not, I just might not have to deal with you anymore. I tried not to yell but you have truly lost patience with me." Stewie soon changes his tone and told her, "I hate fighting with you about stupid shit, I don't want to fight with you about this stuff, okay?. Damn."

Momo soon went silent after having her captain snap at her, but then tears formed in her eyes, falling on one knee and cried, "I'm sorry for snapping at you, sir. I really am." She fell to the ground and started crying, Stewie felt guilty for going off like that, he went back up to her and apologized to her, "No, I'm sorry. I know it's hard for you. But-" He stopped his sentence short and realized that wasn't the real reason she was crying,

He noticed that she was losing breath, her hands gripping her heart area even her eyes started turning from brown to red. That's when he realized something was wrong with her.

"Are..are you okay?" He asked. but, Momo started to feel her body changing, like she was being possessed. She then began to grow fangs, her body felt heavy, her eye color changed even her clothes felt tight from the waist up because her breasts felt like they were gonna bust out. She didn't want her captain to witness her "change". Stewie instead backs up a few steps and said, "What the hell?"

Finally, she was able to regain control of her body, but it seemed a little too late. Her clothes were somehow ripped, her eye color changed back to brown and she was heavily panting as she was on her knees. A little confused, he asked, "Uhh, did you just orgasm? Because, that was a little odd."

Momo grabbed him and said, "Oh god, I'm so sorry. I didn't know what came over me but now I'm glad it's over."

"Yeah, good. Glad your okay..." Stewie replied, "Just so you know, you're exposed." She looked down to realize that her breasts were fully exposed, she wrapped her arms to hide them from his young eyes. She then yelled, "Oh my god, why did you look, you pervert."

"Don't feel embarrassed, I've seen better. Besides, I don't really care." Stewie stated, "Plus, that's not the only place that's revealed." Momo wondered what he meant by that but noticed that what was remaining of her "uniform" revealed more than she thought. She screamed, "Oh no, don't look at me!" She ran away, covering as much of her body as she can. But as she ran, she passes Aizen. He quickly noticed her running and said, "What the hell?" Stewie was really not expecting that, "God. This day can't get anymore fucked up."

"Stewie!" Aizen called out.

"I spoke way too soon."

"What's up, little bro."

"I thought you were going to fuck Momo like you said."

"Huh?" Aizen wondered but remembered what he meant. "Oh yeah. I forgot."

"Ugh." Stewie groaned. "Then what the fuck were you doing then."

"To get some food, I can't pound beavers on a empty stomach, you know. Also, I bought some clothes from Hot Topic."

"That's makes very good sense, but...wait, what?"

"Hm?"

"What do you mean you were at a Hot Topic? Where?"

"Somewhere around there." Aizen pointed at the store. "Why do you ask?"

"It's just weird, what the hell is a Hot Topic doing here?"

"Don't know."

Then, Stewie's phone started to ring, He looked to see who was is only to be it's Brian who is calling. He answers the phone and responds, "Hey, Brian. What's going on."

" _Stewie! I have to talk to you."_

"Why is it every time you call, it's about some news or something bad. Why can't you just call to say hi?"

"_Sorry, but this is important."_

"What?"

"_Is Aizen there with you?"_

"Yeah, why?"

"_Ah shit. You might want to get outta here while you still can."_

"What's going on?"

"_Someone told me that Captain Hitsugaya had contacted Central 46 and the other captains that he was in the Seireitei and there now searching for you and Aizen."_

"How did he find out?"

"_Another source said that Rangiku informed him. They went on to say that she heard this from you."_

"What?"

"_Did you by any chance tell her this?"_

"...what a minute." He took a minute to remember his last conversation with her.

* * *

_"Hey, I gotta go, I need to keep Aizen's perverted ass from getting to Momo. I'll talk to-" Stewie told her until his sentence was cut when she heard "his" name._

_"Wait, what did you say?" Rangiku asked. "Did you just say what I though you said? Are you telling me that Sōsuke Aizen is inside the Seireitei?"_

_"I think so. He's been coming and going for three months now, so far he's pissed me off and the asshole now lives with me."

* * *

_

Stewie goes silent and then said. "Oh shit."

"_Oh god. Well you guys have to get outta here while you still have the chance."_

"Okay, bye." Stewie's arm after hanging up fell like a sock after he hung up. Aizen was a little wondered when his eye and shoulders starting twitching.

"Are you okay?" Aizen asked him while he was standing like a statue. He then looked straight in the eye and told him, "Aizen."

"Yes."

"We need to get outta here."

"What? Why?" he asked. "What's going on he-" Aizen's sentence was cut short because a person who resembled a fox wrapped his arm tight around his neck, he tried to pull away but he was unable to get free. To make things worse, three more people who looked like captains grabbed his arms and legs, making him unable to break free.

"What the fuck is going on?" Stewie yelled but Rangiku grabbed him as well. "Sorry I have to do this."

Stewie was gripped tight including Aizen. None of the two were able to break free, that's when Captain-Commander, Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto (damn, his name is hard to spell.) appeared before them. He walks up to the restrained Soul Reapers and said,

"I never expected to find you of all people with this traitor."

"Oh dear god. What's going on?"

Yamamoto looked at him and replied, "You two are going to jail."

"What the fuck did I do?"

"Harboring a criminal which in this place counts as treason."

Stewie's jaw drops when hearing these charges and said "Really? No really?"

"Stewie!" Aizen yelled with the little breath he had left. "_Why did this have to happen this way! Shit! Shit!" _He angrily thought until he passed out.

"Take them to the prison chambers!"

Stewie hissed, "You're not taking me anywhere! Now let me go!" but he is knocked out immediately.

* * *

_At 8:10 pm, Inside Central 46, Stewie and Aizen are thrown in a Level 85 prison chamber awaiting there fate which is to be decided tonight. Both regain conciseness after getting knocked out._

"What happened?" Aizen weakly asked himself. "and what am I wearing? Why can't I move?"

"You're in a strait-jacket." Stewie replied. "It seems like they put it on us while we were unconscious."

"I'm glad you're here with me. It would suck if I had nobody here with me."

"What the fuck do you expect? I got arrested too if you didn't notice." Stewie said sarcastically. "Besides, I like being in a shit-hole like this, in a full body strait-jacket, sitting in piss and waiting to see if I either get executed or be locked up here for the rest of my natural life."

"You do?"

"NO!" Stewie snapped, "I HATE IT HERE! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU DIDN'T COME HERE THEN WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS, WOULDN'T WE?"

"Well sorry. I see you're not in a good mood right now."

"Of course I'm not! This entire day has been a pain in my **ass!** I had to lie to my parents to keep them from knowing who you really are, I ended up fighting with Momo and witnessed her nearly turn into a monster which ripped nearly all her clothes and this fucking bullshit! So this is the **WORST** day EVER!"

"Damn dude, you lied to your parents to hide my identity from them. That's kinda cool. Also, did you see her tits?"

"Yeah, fully."

"...Damn. Okay, if you want to...describe them for me?"

"No. I rather not at this time."

"Okay. Plus, we getting arrested is not my fault or yours. I was just a bad slip up."

"Yeah, whatever."

"Dude. You're the only true friend I've had in years and that's something." Aizen explained "Like my accomplices and the Arrancars are okay but you are the only person that I can open up to and just hang out without seeing the other side of me. It's lonely but as long as I have you and your dog, That's all I can ever ask for."

"Are you saying this just so I won't be mad at you or for me to describe Momo's breasts?"

"No. I mean it. If we have to spend the rest of our lives in this shit hole, then that's how it gonna be." Then, a unknown voice comes out from the dark side of the cell.

"You should understand what's he talking about, he's makes pretty good sense."

"Who was that?" Stewie yelled. "Show yourself." The mysterious man appeared out from the dark, only to reveal the the man wasn't wearing a strait-jacket but had a torn haori which was on his right side but strapped around his waist too. The man was big with a full beard and lightly pale skin.

"Who the fuck are you? What's you're name?" Stewie asked.

"I don't have a name."

Stewie and Aizen looked at each other then back at him, "What do you mean you don't have a name? Everybody has a name."

"Yeah like people have to wear the same thing and shit, I have no name." He then walked off but Stewie noticed something.

"You were a captain, were you?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because that thing you have, belongs to the 11th Division."

"Hm, so you were the captain of the 11th Division before the last two, am I correct?" Aizen questioned.

"Yeah. What of it."

"We both are or were captains."

"Still for me at this time."

"So, why are you here?"

"I ate a cookie." Stewie and Aizen were completely lost, they hoped that wasn't why he was in prison.

"A cookie? You're telling me that you got sent to prison...for eating a goddamn cookie?"

"...then after, I went on a rampage and accidentally killed two captains."

"Shit, bro."

"I know." He said. "So what did you do?"

Aizen replied, "I did a lot of bad shit to get here."

"I'm here for harboring the guy." Stewie also replied.

"Well at least you two didn't kill anyone to get here."

"I didn't. He did."

"All of Central 46."

"Wow."

"And that's not even all of it."

"How much did you get?"

"They're deciding our sentence tonight."

"Sorry guys, Well the bright side is that you got to do whatever you wanted to before."

Aizen replied, "Thanks, man. I thought when I first saw you is that you were gonna beat us up so bad that we would piss ourselves but you're a nice guy."

"I know. But hey, at least we have each other."

Aizen and the former captain nodded in agreement until guards walked up to the cell,

"Griffin, Aizen. Time for the Captain-Commander to announce his decision regarding you guys." They yelled as the grabbed the two and took then to discover there fate.

* * *

There are now in a dark room, filled with guards, ten other captains and the Captain-Commander. There pushed to the ground then they push them even further.

"On you're knees." The guard ordered.

"Well, well. Look's like it's time."

Aizen then commented, "This shit is a pain in the ass."

"Shut up!"

"...fine."

"Now, we have voted it out with the captains and all the members of Central 46 and it's unanimous, you both shall be punished for you're actions."

"Son of a bitch." Stewie muttered.

"You, Stewie Griffin and Sōsuke Aizen are hereby sentenced to 40,000 years in the Level 100 prison chambers."

_3rd A/N: I know that's not actually the lowest chamber for them but bear with me..._

"Well, that seems fair after all...WHAT! 40,000 YEARS! WHAT THE FUCK!"

"You're sentences are to carried out immediately."

"Oh sweet god, please save me from this horrible day." Stewie proclaimed. But then, a blast is heard outside and soon enough, the walls are busted in by a unknown person wearing a dark cloak covering the person's face. The guards then attacks the person but is knocked out easily.

"Goodness, Stewie. You haven't been a Soul Reaper for six months and you're already in trouble." The person told Stewie.

"Uh, how do you know who I am?"

"Because, I'm you're grandmother." She uncovers her face, revealing herself as Barbara Pewterschmidt, Stewie's grandmother. "It's been a long time, Stewie."

Jūshirō Ukitake, The captain of the 13th Division, was shocked to find this out. "Oh my god, It's you-" his sentence is interrupted when she finishes his sentence for him, "Yes, I am Barbara Pewterschmidt, the former captain of the 9th Division. The real one."

Stewie thinks out loud to himself, "This is insane." Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto then walks up to her and said, "Well, it's been years since the last time I've seen you. Are you here for you're grandson?"

"Yes. And his friend." Barbara replied, "I'm here to set them free."

"What makes you think that you can just come back here and demand for two prisoners to be released?"

"Because this, I may had left my position as captain years ago, but I didn't leave my position as one of the three leading commanding officers for Central 46."

Ukitake yelled, "So you're gonna release such a man like him?"

"I've watched him and I don't agree on the things he's done. But I know one thing, he's a good friend of my grandson and I won't let one of his friends go down like this."

Stewie soon muttered silently, "Yeah, kinda."

"So if we talk about this, maybe we can work out something."

"Alright. Guards, take them outside so we can negotiate."

"Yes, sir." The guards proceed to grab the two and take them outside. Stewie just hopes that his grandmother will save him from his fate.

_Now 10:34 pm, still negotiating...the two grew bored as well as the guards._

"Bring them in." Yamamoto ordered.

The guards bring them in with everybody including Barbara was still there.

"What is it now?" Stewie asked impatiently.

"You are free to go, Captain." The guard said as he took Stewie out of the strait-jacket, setting him free. "The other captains had decided to let you go."

"But what about Aizen?"

Barbara then informed him, "Sorry, I was only able to get you pardoned but no luck for him."

"It's okay, Stewie. Just be lucky that you've been set free. Plus, I saw it coming anyways." Aizen said.

"Come on. Let's get you home." Barbara proceeded to take Stewie out of there but he slipped out and yelled. "No! I've gone through way too much shit with this guy just to have this happen. If he gets imprisoned, then I'm going with him."

Flattered, Aizen told him. "That's very nice but you're still a child, It would just suck if you had to throw away you're entire life and future for my sake. Go on, you won't have another chance at freedom if you give it up."

"I don't care." He looks at Barbara and asked, "Can you try to set him free too."

"That depends, will you guys pardon him as well?"

"I suppose. But under one condition."

"What?"

"He must surrender the Hogyoku."

Aizen then yelled, "I rather get ass-raped in jail that give the Hogyoku to you pigs!"

Stewie walks up and kicks him in the face, yelling, "Hey! There giving you a good offer, so give it to them and NO trickery!"

"Okay, let me call someone." Stewie then takes out his phone, "Call Gin. He knows where it is because the one I have is fake."

"Okay." he finds his name in speed-dial and calls him. He places the phone in his ears.

"Yo. I need you to bring the Hogyoku. The real one, not the fake."

….

"What do you mean you're busy, get your creepy ass out here and give me the damn thing. And if you give me more shit, then I won't tell you what I got you for your birthday."

….

"Just get it."

_One hour later..._

"Here you go, Guys. Enjoy."

"We don't believe that this is the real thing. Give us all copies including fakes."

"Yeah, okay. Give me the fake."

"...what fake?" Noticing the weird look on his face, Stewie charged at him, searching everywhere for it until he found it in the most nastiest of places...his crotch.

"Ew. Gross there's even juices dripping out. When was the last time you cleaned those things?"

"Last week."

"Wow. Okay, here you go. If you still want it."

"Thank you." The guard said then gave both to the Captain-Commander.

Yamamoto ordered, "Let him go." The guards then freed Aizen from the strait-jacket. He then continued, "Now I want Captain Stewie Griffin to watch him on all activities from here on, Understand?"

Confused, Stewie asked, "What does that mean?"

Barbara replied, "It means your in charge of him from now on." He couldn't realize that this means his days will be filled with...him.

"Son of a bitch." He angrily groaned, "Let's go before I go bat-shit insane on these retards."

Ukitake then reminded him, "Oh yeah, Captain's meeting is tomorrow."

He snapped back, "Fuck off!"

After that messed up ordeal, Stewie, Aizen and Barbara walk out of Central 46 with Stewie just wanting to forget this day forever. But, Aizen reminded him, "Are you gonna tell me now?"

Still angry, He picks up a nearby brick and throws it at him. Which means Stewie won't be in a good mood for a while.

* * *

Chapter Six Omake

Stewie needs something to settle his headache or something that will keep him from killing Aizen this time after his most recent act of stupidity. This time, he thought it would be cool to dig for treasure which resulted in a massive hole in his backyard, Just exhausted, he goes into the kitchen to get something to keep him from losing his cool, but he hears a noise coming from under the sink, thinking it's a mouse or a rat, he goes to investigate only to find out that it's Ichigo Kurosaki who is just hiding under the sink, looking like he's scared out of his mind. Stewie decided to ask, "Uh, what the hell are you doing under here, Ichigo?"

Ichigo replied, "I needed to find some place to hide."

"Why?"

He went on to explain, "It's that Harribel woman. Ever since I came to your house a while back, she's been trying to 'do' things to me. I even think she might rape me while I sleep."

"So."

"So? It fucking sucks! My only way of hiding from that shark bitch is under here and I thought that this would be the only place that she won't be able to find me." He yelled.

"I don't really see the problem here, I think she just likes you and wants you to give her a chance at something great."

"I just know that If we date, than I know something bad might happen." Ichigo explained. "Besides, how would my friends react if that happened and what would they say?"

"If they something bad or don't support, then tell them to suck your balls and flip 'em off."

"Either way, I'm not riding that gravy train. Hell no, I rather hide from that woman than deal with that shit."

Stewie shrugged, "Suit yourself."

Then, the door is again smashed off it's hinges by a unknown woman which turns out to be Tia Harribel who is looking for Ichigo. Stewie gets pissed at the fact that not only that there's a **HUGE** hole in his backyard, that his door is always being punched and/or kicked in by a Espada. It was clear that he was gonna lose his mind.

Anyways, Harribel wasn't the least concerned about the door, she just wanted Ichigo and she knew that he was there. She walks up to Stewie and asks, "Where's Ichigo?"

He didn't want to reveal his hiding spot, he responded without hesitation, "Dunno."

However that didn't stop her from searching, Harribel went straight to the kitchen sink, not even checking the closets or any likely place that he would be hiding in. She was only two feet from the sink but she managed to smash her fist under the sink, grabbed Ichigo and pulled him out, resulting in the entire thing falling to the ground. Stewie's eyes grew wide and his jaw falls close to the ground as he couldn't believe had just happened. Harribel says, "You're a slippery son of a bitch, aren't you?"as she then dragged Ichigo out the door. Stewie was still shocked as he walked upstairs but he then sees Aizen covered in dirt, carrying a large treasure chest. As he walked up the stairs, he told him, "Found it."

Then, Stewie walks out the door, and goes for a walk because he knew that he couldn't stay there much longer or else he would light the house on fire.

* * *

END OF CHAPTER SIX

_4th A/N: Holy shit! Over 6,500 words? Damn. I need to pay attention with some shit..._


	7. Dealing With Vampires

Disclaimer: Bleach and Family Guy is property of creators Tite Kubo and Seth MacFarlane, respectively.

_A/N: I completely forgot about this chapter, I started on this chapter a long time ago but never finished, so you might notice some lazy parts. Oh well._

Chapter Seven: Dealing with Vampires

* * *

Just when he thought that things wouldn't any worse, he was dead wrong. 5th Division Captain, Stewie Griffin is now at the point where he's gonna commit murder. In over four months, his life has been filled with pain, dangerous adventures, wild parties, transformations and even plain destruction. His evil, perverted and completely idiotic counter-part, Sousuke Aizen is mainly why his life is now so painful and dangerous. But after yesterday, him and Aizen may have gone to the point of no return, the two were arrested and nearly spent the remainder of there lives in prison. Either way, they saw this coming. Now that everybody he knows has learned about Sousuke Aizen and now in charge of him, these two now face something even worse than they would ever imagine.

* * *

_Now 2:41 am, still inside the Seireitei..._

4th seat, Momo Hinamori has not felt well recently; she's been having nightmares, can barely eat (not a surprise) and she has felt the need for blood. not fighting, like sucking someone else's blood. She couldn't sleep in fact, four hours ago her last attempt to get sleep was unsuccessful as she walked in circles around her bed for two hours until falling asleep. That's was until she had a horrible and gruesome nightmare.

_The skies in the Seireitei were blood red, it was dark and evil, there was just remains of buildings and headquarters, the streets were almost drenched in blood and there was absolutely no signs of life left. There was countless corpses lying on the cold, blood drenched ground. Everybody, the captains, lieutenants, Arrancars, even the Visoreds laid slain on the cold ground. In the middle of those dead bodies, there was Momo Hinamori, standing on the corpse of her childhood friend, Toshirō Hitsugaya. She was soaked in blood, her eyes was emotionless, her Shihakusho was cut to shreds. Some of her body was still covered with what was left but the revealing parts of her body wasn't. _

_The only thing in her hand was her Zanpakuto, Tobiume. It was dripping blood. Every single Soul Reaper, was dead. She had murdered them all...herself. But the only ones who was still standing other than Momo was her captain, Stewie Griffin and her former captain, Sousuke Aizen. The two were shocked as they saw the bodies of all the people they knew, Stewie didn't believe what his eyes was seeing, she had killed everybody, including the ones who are stronger than her were dead. They stayed silent until Stewie uttered, "Holy shit."_

_Aizen quickly asked Stewie, "Are we gonna die?"_

_He looked at Momo and back at him, "Yeah, kinda."_

"_Well I rather not get killed by this bitch." Aizen replied as he drew his Zanpakuto but he was too late, Momo had immediately grabbed his right arm, swung Tobiume at his neck and in seconds, he was beheaded. Stewie's eyes grew wider as he witnessed Aizen's head getting decapitated. He then backed away from the girl and drew his Zanpakuto. He hoped that he wouldn't get killed as well. He swung at her several times until he found a opening but unfortunately, she had tricked him into going for the opening she had intentionally made and soon as he did, he was stabbed in the back, literally. The captain fell to the ground injured, he tried to at least cut her but his Zanpakuto was kicked out of his hand leaving him completely powerless. As soon as she got him where she wanted, Momo pointed her Zanpakuto at the center of his chest, before she finished him off, she raised it upwards and said, "Farewell." as those words were uttered, she stabbed him through his chest...

* * *

_

Then, Momo finally wakes up from her hell of a nightmare. She sat there panting heavily, her eyes wide as dish plates; Momo gets out of bed for a walk. But then something unexpected happens, Momo fell to her knees gripping her chest, her eyes turned red and fangs grew out of her teeth. When that happened, she let out a ear-piercing scream but for some reason, nobody heard. While this is happening, Aizen goes to her room, only to realize that she was gone. Aizen immediately spots her a few miles from her place. He found her turning into something terrifying. At the worst time, someone had walked past her but didn't ignore what was happening to her. Momo got back on her feet, only to charge at the person and bite him. Aizen couldn't believe was he was watching, he saw Momo biting a random person as he got a clear, visible view of her teeth sinking in the man's neck. Momo stops and the unidentified man fell to the ground, his skin completely pale as he looked lifeless. Aizen knew he had to get outta there or else he would be next and he did. He ran for his life however Momo of course, didn't notice him. Instead, she went back to her room and closed the door. And in moments, she was back to normal. Momo couldn't believe what she had done and to make things worse and kinda weird. She got aroused when she licked blood off her fingers.

"_I don't know what's going on..." _she thought. _"...but I love it." _Momo moved her left hand down into her pajamas, touching her "certain area".

_A/N: Alright, bear with me. Because this might get bad or not so bad from here on..._

She rubbed her fingers around her womanhood, letting out a soft moan as she shoved her fingers inside of herself, while she was fingering herself, Aizen tried to find the young girl, but he couldn't find her anywhere.

"Where the fuck is that chick? What was she doing back there?" Aizen thought, he couldn't believe what she was doing but he went back to her room to find out. Meanwhile, Momo was nearly naked, on the floor while thrusting her fingers into her pussy, not even realizing what's gonna happen. Aizen still was trying to find her room after a few others.

He muttered to himself, "Goddamn, I'm so fucking bored." Aizen wandered around the place countless times. "I wish I could of brought booze with me, cause I need a fucking drink."

Now, back to Momo's room...she was still 'playing with' herself inside while Aizen, who is bored as fuck, tries to ask her some questions. She had let out some loud moans as her orgasm was drawing near. Aizen could hear them from literally a few miles away. She was feeling something that she has never has felt before, she could have felt this way but we all know how that ended. Aizen was trying to trace the sounds but she had stopped. Momo balled up her open hand into a fist to avoid letting someone hear her. Although, she wasn't aware that Aizen was heading her direction.

"I'm...gonna...ahh." She moaned louder, which wasn't helping the whole "not getting caught" thing so well. Soon enough, Aizen was able to track down her voice and soon enough, he found her room.

Momo thrusts her fingers inside of her faster, she couldn't hold it any longer. She knew that it was about to happen. But, her orgasm won the battle apparently and she yelled loudly as her 'love juices' drenched her fingers and vice versa and still, nobody heard.

_A/N: They probably took sleeping pills and booze._

Aizen grumbled under his breath, "What the fuck is this bitch doing? I should be doing that to her pussy." and that's when he noticed something wrong, Aizen knew Momo too well to know that she wouldn't pleasure herself, even if she was still a virgin. And that wasn't all, he cracked the door to noticed her eyes were red, she was on the floor panting and even her fingernails was unusually long.

"_There's really something wrong with this chick."_ Aizen thought. _"I need to get my ass out of here before I get killed."_

And he ran away from her room and swore not to go back there, Momo of course, passes out.

_Six Hours later..._

Momo wakes up almost naked, in her sheets even though she passed out on the floor. Momo placed her hand on her pounding head and wondered, "What happened last night? Was what happened last night real or fake? Did I really bite that man? Did I really touch myself in that certain way? And was that nightmare I had real?"

She ran to the door to see if the Seireitei was the same as her nightmare. She was wrong, Momo opens the door only to see the entire city exactly the same. Momo then changes her clothes and heads off.

_Momo thought,"There's something wrong with me and I know that it will get worse if I don't do something about it."

* * *

_

_Meanwhile, at Stewie's house..._

5th Division Captain, Stewie Griffin tries to have a normal morning after each time ends bad. Stewie sits on the couch this time, reading his newspaper. He had a gun if Aizen came downstairs to fuck up his peace and quiet. Stewie puts down his newspaper and heads to the kitchen. But as he walked towards the refrigerator, his living nightmare, Sousuke Aizen walks down the stairs, not running or doing something obscene, just walking towards Stewie, his mind completely surrounded of the events he witnessed last night. Only to ask him something.

"Yo, what happening Stewie." Aizen said without any certain emotion. "Can I ask you about something?"

Stewie carelessly replied, "You saw another chick flick?"

"No, asshole. This is important."

"What now?"

"It's about Momo."

"Got her pregnant?"

"Stop it, it's very important. Now listen."

Stewie sighed. "Just fucking tell me."

"Well, I went to talk to her about what you saw yesterday, I go to her room only to see that she wasn't there..."

He nods and said, "Go on."

"...I find her not far from her place and I witness her biting the neck of another Soul Reaper. After she stopped, the guy's body was lifeless and she went back to her room. I forget where it was and I see her jacking off. I talked to her later on and she went through some odd transformation and tried to attack me. I don't know what's going on but, this seems bad."

"Okay, you saw her go through that same transformation I saw the other day."

"Yeah, which is why I wanted you to talk to her. This looks very serious and we need to know if either this is a phase or she'll really end up doing something bad."

Stewie walks away and said, "Okay, let's go and find out about this. But first, did you say 'jacking off?' don't you mean she was 'fingering' herself?"

Aizen backs up away from Stewie and yelled, "Aw, hell naw. As much as I want to know what happening, I really don't feeling like getting bitten or die right now. I rather have you deal with the bitch."

"You didn't answer my fucking question."

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Now I know what you meant, that's what's she was doing."

"Yeah whatever, dumb shit." Stewie sighed. "If you wanna be a pussy, then be one. I'll handle it." Stewie leaves the room to find her. After the crazy ordeal he dealt with yesterday, Stewie did not want to go back to the Soul Society and end up in another mess of trouble like before. Either way, it was his responsibility to handle situations regarding his subordinates.

* * *

_Now, once again, back inside the Seireitei..._

Stewie came back to find out what was wrong with Momo, despite what happened yesterday. Stewie only planned to come back to discover what's wrong with her until Brian, his lieutenant, and several other Soul Reapers approached him with something urgent...kinda.

"Stewie!" Brian yelled. "We need you. It's important!"

"Oh lord..." Stewie groaned. "What now?"

"No time, you have to come quick!"

"Yeah fine."

Minutes later, Brian and the others led Stewie to incredibly pale and lifeless corpse lying on the cold ground; Stewie was stunned as he stared at the dead body, he goes over to them and asked:

"Who discovered the body and when?"

"The 7th Division discovered the body this morning." One of the Soul Reapers replied. "The also found the 5th Division's insignia on the inside of his Shihakusho."

"I see, He's on our side. How were you informed?""

"One of the members of that division informed Lieutenant Griffin not long after discovery."

Brian added, "We also found bite marks on the right side of his neck, meaning this was obviously wasn't a accident."

"Were are the others?"

"I haven't seen Nemu in a month and for Momo, I haven't seen her since last night."

"Was she acting weird?"

"Not entirely sure. Should we ask her if she knows or seen anything?"

"Don't worry about that, I was planning to see her anyways. I'll ask her about this and you guys take care about the body."

"Stewie, are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Now go."

"Okay."

And so, Stewie rushed over to talk to Momo, he had a strange feeling that something was up and he needed to figure it out. Stewie arrived outside of her room when he sees somebody moving around, he wasn't sure if it was either Momo or a possible intruder, but he drew his Zanpakuto just in case.

"Hey, Momo? Are you in there?" Stewie yelled out. "Answer me."

"Yes. I'm here." Momo answered, yet she was panting heavily which caught his attention.

"I'm coming in."

"No! Don't open the door, I'll be out in a minute."

"I need to talk to you now."

"Just wait!"

"Whatever." Stewie scowled as he opens the door; he thought he would see her was disposing a body, but he actually saw was a fully nude Momo lying on the floor, completely covered in peanut butter while humping a large picture of Aizen. Silence ended up sweeping the room as Stewie couldn't do anything but stare.

"Oh, Um...this is...um...very uncomfortable." Stewie said.

"I said not to open the door, sir."

"Yes you did. Boy, this is awkward...So, uh...yeah."

"What was it that you wanted to talk about?"

"Uh, nothing. I'm just gonna leave."

"Alright."

Stewie closes the door, and in seconds, Momo continued with what she was doing. Stewie only planned on asking her what was up with her, but what he instead got was that.

"Damn, this is fucked up." Stewie mumbled under his breath. He honestly didn't expect that, in fact, if he knew that was gonna happen, he would be better off staying home.

An hour later, Aizen suddenly pops up out of nowhere and asked, "Hey, Stew Crew. How's that crazy, little bitch doing now?"

"Ugh." Stewie groaned, "First off, did you just fucking call me 'Stew Crew' and...you don't wanna know what she was doing."

"Hm. What was she doing?"

"What did I just tell your ass...let's drop it."

"Okay. Do you want me to buy you ice cream?"

"Um no. I have a personal rule: Don't accept ice cream from you."

"Why?"

"I remember you giving Brian some 'ice cream' a week ago. Yet, it was funny how he reacted."

"Yeah, it was hard to make, it took me fifteen hours."

"I don't really care. Let's just leave."

"Okay, sure."

* * *

_Later that night..._

Stewie and Aizen were home, Aizen was drinking and Stewie was just watching TV until they Stewie got a call from his lieutenant. He takes out his phone and answered:

"Yeah what now, Brian?"

"_Stewie, you and Aizen need to get back here now!" _Brian yelled.

"Oh my god, what happened now?"

"_It's Momo. She's gone insane."_

"Okay, tell me something I don't know."

"_You don't understand,"_ Brian told him, _"She turned into something and killed several Soul Reapers a while ago. The others are chasing here down, we need you two."_

"Okay, I'm on my way. Later," Stewie said and hung up the phone, he goes over to Aizen and told him, "Let's go, Aizen. Momo is in the Soul Society killing people and we have to stop her."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Aizen scowled, "Well, let's go then."

_Now, once again, back to the Soul Society..._

After getting word that Momo was killing people, the two brown haired Soul Reapers rushed over as fast as they could, they were unable to find her but was able to find Brian and Nemu though.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Stewie asked.

"We don't know," Brian replied, "All I know so far is that Captain Hitsugaya came over to the office and told me that she was killed two of his men and escaped. That's all he could tell me."

"Does any of the other captains know about this?" Aizen asked.

"He already told the other captains and lieutenants and all the divisions are after her."

"Damn it," Stewie growled, "Aizen, Brian, We gotta catch her before anybody else does and detain her. That our only priority."

"Okay, Stewie." Brian replied.

"Hey, address you captain in a formal way." Aizen ordered.

"Forget about that, we gotta go," Stewie yelled, "Nemu, tell the others to return to their posts and that I'm already in pursuit of her."

"Yes, sir." Nemu answered and left.

"Alright, let's go."

Meanwhile, Momo was running from the others while she felt like something bad is gonna happen. Little did she know, it was just the beginning. Her eyes were dark blood red and her head painfully hurt. She knew something was happening but didn't know something worse is gonna happen to her.

While Momo was fleeing the scene, Stewie, Aizen and Brian were looking as hard as they could until Stewie felt her presence from several miles away.

"What is it, Stewie?" Aizen asked him.

"I know where she is," Stewie answered, "She's several miles to our right. Let's hurry."

They followed her presence and quickly hurried over there but what they didn't know was that there was others were slowly following them since they knew that they would find her first. 25 minutes later, they got even closer to Momo as they felt her presence getting stronger. Momo then found herself in a large area surrounded by trees, she stopped and fell to her knees and slammed her hands to her head and said:

"Why won't it stop? What's wrong with me?" Then, the three arrived just as soon she stopped. Stewie was somehow surprised while Aizen wondered what was going on with her.

"Momo, what's wrong with you?" Stewie yelled but the three were caught by surprise when the other captains and lieutenants arrived.

"What the hell?" Brian said, "Did you guys follow us?"

One of the captains, Byakuya Kuchiki, went over and answered, "Yes. And you guys did a good job leading us to her."

"Oh my god, are you all really stupid?"

"Quiet, lieutenant," Captain-Commander Yamamoto ordered, "Now we can finally capture this woman for her crimes."

They all went over and approached Momo but Stewie quickly drew his Zanpakuto and said, "No you're not."

"What are you doing, captain?" Byakuya scowled, "Do you want to go back to jail?"

But Aizen then draws his Zanpakuto and answered him, "This isn't your business, Byakuya. So back down."

"I'm afraid you're not in a position to order anybody around after all the crimes you committed."

"He said back down. This isn't your problem." Stewie told him.

Then, Toshiro Hitsugaya goes over to him and protested, "What the hell do you mean? If it involves Momo, then it's definitely my business."

"It seems you don't understand," Stewie replied, "If something like this involves my own men, then it's completely my business."

As they argued, Momo intervened the argument and pleaded, "All of you, just go. Leave me alone. Please."

"Ignore her," Yamamoto ordered them, "Captain Hitsugaya, capture her."

"Yes, sir." Toshiro replied as he drew his Zanpakuto and ran towards Momo, but Brian quickly stopped him from getting near her.

Stunned, Toshiro asked him, "What is the meaning of this? Step aside, lieutenant."

Brian doesn't respond, that's until Stewie goes over and said, "I told you, she may mean a lot to you, but this is our fight. Brian did the right thing by stopping you, I don't want any of you to interfere."

"I don't care. I'll save her from this if I can."

"Too bad," Stewie replied, "Brian, hold him off."

"Yes, Stewie." Brian answered as he took the captain to a different destination away from there, meanwhile, Stewie and Aizen faced the rest of them while Momo was going through another transformation.

"Now, do anybody else wanna interfere?" Stewie asked them, but nobody responded. Until, Yamamoto goes over to Stewie and asked:

"What's you're purpose for trying to help her."

"Because she means something to my division, she lead the men I now lead when things were bad. I trust her to keep the atmosphere in my division strong and alive. That's why I'm trying to help her."

Yamamoto was surprised at his words as he responded, "I understand your reason for trying to save one of your own. We will stand aside, for now."

"Great, glad you guys understand," Stewie said in relief, "Alright, Momo. Let's go." But then, her eyes grew wide and her heart started beating rapidly.

"Stay back," Momo pleaded, "Please, get away from me."

"I won't hurt you. Just come with me."

"No! Leave me alone! All of you!"

"_What's wrong with her?"_ Aizen thought, _"Despite the fact, she isn't in danger, she keeps telling him to stay away." _

But then, Aizen noticed something odd, he felt an dangerous presence, her now-red eyes gotten darker and he saw the fabric of her Shihakusho slowly ripping apart. He noticed that she was getting pale, and something was bulging from her back.

Aizen immediately yelled, "Stewie, get away from her!"

"What?" Stewie replied until a blast of dark energy surrounded Momo which prompted Stewie to move over to Aizen's side.

As he got away from her, they witnessed Momo transform once again, but this time was even different. Momo was on her knees as a pair of large wings grew out of her body, longer and sharper fangs grew out of her mouth, her eyes turned from dark red to black completely, her Zanpakuto was automatically released and she grew taller while her skin turned completely white. Even her arms and legs were transformed and finally a large tail grew out of her. The newly transformed Momo got up from her knees and let out a huge Hollow-like scream.

After her transformation was finished, Stewie and Aizen remained there as they saw her turn into a monster. Stewie looked at Aizen and back to the others and said:

"Yeah, you all might wanna run." Neither of them chose to argue and left in a blink of an eye.

Aizen looked down at Stewie and asked, "So, what do we do now?"

"Well, there's no point of saving her now. So, you know what we should do."

"Kill her?"

"Exactly." Stewie answered him as he raised his Zanpakuto and swung it to the ground, but for some odd reason. It changed into it's release form.

"Stewie?" Aizen asked him, "Did you release your Zanpakuto without calling it's name?"

"Yeah."

Aizen took a look at his Zanpakuto for the first time, the shield between the hilt and blade was missing and it looked like a thin chainsaw. It was also longer than it's sealed form which was rather weird. Stewie pointed his Zanpakuto at Momo and said:

"So, are you gonna fight or just stand there, Aizen?" Stewie asked, he stayed silent for a moment until raising his Zanpakuto and answered:

"What type of question is that? Of course I'm gonna fight."

"Good choice."

Stewie and Aizen, from two separate sides, attacked the monster-like Momo at the same time, Stewie attacked her below the waist while Aizen attacked her from the head up. They were both unable to wound her as she blocked both attacks, but to Stewie's left was her whip-like tail about to strike him but he jumped from it just in time.

Aizen attempted to attack her off guard and was able to wound her. However, the wound quickly healed up and Momo took the opportunity and attempted to cut down her former captain, but Aizen managed to block the attack but he was shocked how such a wound healed up like it was nothing. He moved behind her and swung at her waist, his Zanpakuto was able to touch her but it had no effect.

"_What the fuck?" _Aizen thought, _"Why didn't my attack have any effect? This doesn't make sense, she would have been cut in half by now."_

The two tried to wound her but each time, her wounds healed up fast. They knew something was wrong, Given they're powers, they would be able to kill her. However, her new form was something different, nobody has ever seen such a thing. But, Stewie and Aizen were fighting her as if she was a Hollow, but there was one flaw they didn't look into. Despite they're failed attempts, Stewie readied himself to attack, while Momo fought off Aizen, Stewie activated one of his abilities and charged at Momo. He ran in rapid speeds, cutting her multiple times until he finally backed away and his Zanpakuto began running like an actual chainsaw and he charged at her one last time, cutting off her arm and part of her shoulder.

He turned around and looked at her, only to witness Momo's arm regenerating and her decapitated arm disintegrating. She then attacked him in a blink of an eye, wounding him. Luckily for Stewie, he was able to avoid the attack, only making it a minor injury. But what didn't make sense was that all they're attacks were almost useless.

But Stewie remembered back when he killed strong, Arrancar-like hollows when he first became a Soul Reaper and witnessing Momo transform the other day. He realized that Hollows can't regenerate their arm after it's been severed and he also remembered that she was nowhere close to being a Hollow or Arrancar and that neither have fangs like her's. He immediately figured out what she actually was and told Aizen:

"Stand down, Aizen. Come over here." He goes over to him and wondered why he told him to stand down.

Aizen asked him, "What's wrong?"

"I just figured it out, she's not a hollow," Stewie stated, "She's a vampire."

"What? That's retarded."

"Think about it, did you remember telling me that she bit some guy's neck?"

"Yeah."

"Well, hollows don't bite people, they devour them. Vampires bite the neck of they're prey for blood and they mostly don't have wings or tails."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," Stewie replied, "But she's more different than other vampires. It doesn't seem possible for one to turn into something like...this."

"What should we do. Stab her with a stake?"

"Not really. We have to think with our heads..."

"And our cocks."

"Focus! Now, neither my Zanpakuto or yours will work. We have to find her weak spot, if we do, then she's as good as dead."

"Okay, but where's her weak spot?"

"Oh my god, are you serious?" Stewie growled, "Think about it, what do you think is a vampire's weak spot?"

"Between the legs?"

"No, you fucking dumbass. The heart. Do you see that tree?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm gonna carve a stake while you continuously attack her. Use all the power and strength you have and don't back down for a second."

"How long should do I have?"

"Just long enough so I can carve the stakes. Now remember, no mercy."

"Got that part up."

"Good."

"Wait a minute, didn't you say that the stake wouldn't work?"

"Well, I'm gonna try it anyways."

While Stewie went over to carve the stake, Aizen goes back over to to distract Momo, however he had to be careful and fight her long enough so Stewie can carve it in time. Aizen charged at her and attacked with all the strength he had..left. All his attacks were able to wound her, but enough to kill her.

"After I'm done with you two, I'll kill the rest of you and anybody who gets in my way." Momo proclaimed, however Aizen wasn't threatened by her statement.

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that," Aizen disagreed, "Because, you're not gonna make out of here."

Momo was confused at his comment, but as soon she left her guard down, Aizen took the opportunity and grabbed her.

"Well it seems it's the end for you, my lovely Momo. Too bad I didn't get to hit that," Aizen told her, he then raises his hand towards her face and said, "Hado #90, Kurohitsugi."

In a instant, both him and Momo were surrounded by a large dark square and in a few moments, it fades away, with Aizen walking away from her. She wondered what just happened until she is heavily wounded by the powerful Kido; Just as she falls to her knees, Stewie had already finished carving the stake.

"Thanks, man for stalling her." Stewie thanked him.

"No problem," Aizen answered, "But now what? Do we kill her?"

"Hmm...yeah."

And then, Stewie and Aizen walk over to a severely wounded Momo and look down at her. Stewie places the stake at her heart and positions it right enough to go through her body. But Aizen notices something, her body has started to change back to normal, as soon as Stewie was about to stab her, Aizen immediately stopped her.

"Wait," Aizen told him, "Look at her, she's turning back to normal."

"Really?" Stewie replied, "Well, what should we do now?"

"Well, since she's no longer a monster, we should take her somewhere so she can recover."

"I really don't like how we went with this."

"Yeah, me neither. So should we go?"

"Yeah, you grab the body."

_Six days later..._

Stewie and Aizen was escorting Momo to the gate to leave the Soul Society, Momo had quickly recovered from her wounds and despite being cleared of her crimes, she chose to leave.

"Well this is it, Momo," Stewie said, "Are you sure you wanna leave?"

"Yes. I don't want to end up doing the same things like before," Momo answered, "So until I can control my new powers, I can't be around any of you, for everyone's safety."

"It sucks that you chose to resign from your position. But oh well, we'll miss you." Aizen responded.

"I'll miss you guys too. I'll be back and when that times comes, this is farewell."

"Okay. Take care then, Lieutenant Hinamori."

"Thank you." Momo replied as tears fell out of her eyes, she goes down and gives Stewie a hug goodbye. After she let him go, she went over to Aizen and opened her arms to hug him.

But when she tried to stop the hug, Aizen told her, "There's no reason to stop yet."

"Let her go." Stewie growled.

"Fine." Aizen answered and let her go. Momo waved at them and went through the gate. They waved at her as well while she left. After she was gone, both of them sighed in relief.

"Thank god she's gone," Aizen said, "But I'll still miss her though."

"Yeah me too. At least we don't have to deal with more hell for now." Stewie sighed.

"Good point. So what should we do now?"

"We live. We live our lives."

"Nice movie pun."

"Thanks."

And without looking back, Stewie and Aizen walk away and go back to his office. In the last two days, they have gone through some crazy things and they needed was some relaxation. But they knew it wasn't over. Not yet.

* * *

Chapter Seven Omake

"Hey, Stewie? What's under here?" Brian asked.

Aizen was also curious and asked, "That's a very good question. What is under here?"

"It's a portrait of us. I got it made last week," Stewie answered, "Check it out."

Stewie grabbed the rope and tugged it down, revealing the new portrait. It had him, Aizen, Brian and for some reason, Lisa Yadomaru in the portrait.

"Uh, Stewie? Why is Lisa in this portrait?" Aizen asked him.

"Oh yeah, thanks for reminding," Stewie told him and looked towards the audience, "Starting in the next chapter, Lisa will join our adventures as a main character. See you then."

"Wait, what? You never told me this."

* * *

End of Chapter Seven

_A/N: Another chapter, over 5,500 words. Anyways, Lisa will return and she's gonna be involved in their crazy adventures. I added her because three guys in one fanfic, that's gay. They pretty much need a chick to hang out with. Next chapter sometime later._


	8. The Woman With Glasses

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Family Guy. It is the property of their respective owners.

A/N: Alright, this is one of some new chapters I'm posting. But again, another 6,000 word chapter. Enjoy?

* * *

Chapter Eight: The Woman With Glasses

_Stewie and Aizen has been desperately needing some rest after the events that occurred in the last week. After dealing with a vampire, got arrested, got injured, Aizen to be exact and Stewie having to lie to his parents about his new companion. Even Stewie's lieutenant, Brian has gotten involved in the slightest bit. In the months since Stewie became a captain, he and his friends has dealt with some strange things. But a steer week since their weird adventures, Stewie decided to call up a companion he met not long ago and invite her to join them. Most likely to ease the insanity._

* * *

_Meanwhile, on a Saturday afternoon..._

To get some time off, the three go to the park, but Stewie had some different intentions. He had planned to meet up with Lisa Yadomaru, a friend he met up with a while back. However, neither Aizen or Brian knew this but they wondered where he wandered off to. While they looked for Stewie, he was with Lisa, talking while on the swing-set.

"It's awesome that you chose to hang out with us, Lisa." Stewie said.

"Yeah. I like to hang out with you guys," Lisa replied, "But I don't know about Aizen though. Why do you hang out with that man?"

"I have no idea. I've thought of telling him to fuck off but I realized that he's more fun than everybody else I know."

"Well, whatever. It would be nice to meet new people."

"You are very distant, are you?"

"Yeah. But caring nonetheless."

"You know, when I met you, I thought you were a silent bitch but you're pretty nice."

"Thanks. Not many people tell me that."

"Well at least I told you."

"Yeah thanks."

While Aizen looked for Stewie, he finally spots him with Lisa. He took a closer look to determine if it was her and he was right, he runs over to the two, calling Stewie:

"Hey Stewie! Over here."

"What the hell?" Stewie mumbled, "Ugh, Not him again."

"Hey, where have you been?" Aizen asked him, "I was worried about you-"

His sentence was interrupted as Lisa lifted her foot and kicked him straight in the testicles, while she was swinging. Aizen fell to the ground, gripping his crotch in pain after a hard kick in the balls. He got onto his knees and yelled:

"What the fuck was that for?"

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, did I?"

"What?"

"Lisa is gonna be hanging with us for now on. I realized that our little group is all dudes, so she's the group's newest addition."

"Why? Couldn't you at least find a hotter woman than Lisa?"

Insulted by his comment, Lisa responds by punching him in the face, but Stewie answered, "Well, she's reliable, tolerable, good fighter, good companion and have you heard this woman sing? She's amazing."

"But still, you could have gotten somebody more appealing." Aizen answered after he got back up on his feet.

"I'd rather not have some bimbo hanging with us. At least she has brains and is fine looking."

"You make a very good point but you could of at least told me."

"I didn't need to. Regardless, we need a woman around so it isn't a dick party all the time."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I am. Now let's go."

"Fine. But keep her away from me."

"No promises about that."

And so, the three went to leave but as Lisa walked past Aizen, he said, "Hey baby, why don't you come over her and give me some sugar."

Lisa was again insulted by his request and kicked him in the testicles again then walked away. He managed to get back up on his knees and finally back on his feet, walking back towards them but was limping as he walked.

"Damn, that hurt." Aizen said to himself.

* * *

_Later that afternoon..._

The newly formed quartet were at Stewie's house, wondering what they should do. Stewie wanted to inaugurate their new friend by doing something, but he was empty. As the four sat there thinking, Aizen got up and told them:

"Hey, why don't we have a foursome? You know, getting it on all night."

"I'm afraid I have to disagree on that idea," Brian replied, "I'm a dog and he's a baby. And she hates you, so that's a terrible idea."

"You know, I need to know something. Why is almost all your ideas sex-related?" Stewie asked.

"Maybe I want some sex."

"Yeah, whatever."

"So, what should we do? We should inaugurate Lisa in a dignified and peaceful manner." Brian said to the three.

Stewie although liked the idea but replied, "That's kinda boring but good idea. However, we should do some kinda endurance tournament to see who's the best."

"That's not bad," Lisa said, "But what kinda of challenges should we do?"

"Like some wild, fun, physical kinda thing."

"That sounds good."

"But who will officiate the challenges?" Aizen asked.

"Hmm, I don't know."

Brian then added, "But we don't need just anyone, we need somebody who is capable of doing it?"

"I know who," Lisa answered, she got up and continued, "There's a town in Japan called Karakura Town, there is a abandoned warehouse where I used to live."

"Go on." Stewie replied.

"When you find that warehouse, you'll meet others Vizards like me. When you're there, ask for a blonde haired girl named Hiyori Sarugaki, she may be able to help us."

"How the hell am I supposed to get to Japan in such short time?"

"Remember that transporter you built?" Brian asked, "That can transfer you in no time."

"Okay. I'll warm it up and I'll get going."

"Wait, why can't I come with?" Aizen asked him.

"Because like me, they also hate you and they'll think he's on your side." Lisa answered.

"Aww."

"Shut up!" Stewie yelled, "Now, I'll be back in about an hour or two."

"Now remember, if they ask how you found them, tell them I sent you."

"Will they consider you as a traitor?" Brian asked her.

"No. They won't as far as I know."

"I hope you're right. Otherwise, they'll slice me in to bits."

"Don't be sure about that."

"God, we're so fucking random." Brian noted.

"Very much."

* * *

_Sometime later...again..._

Stewie was successful this time with his transporter, he had a hard time trying to find the warehouse, in a steer hour, people had stared at him constantly, mainly because of his head. Luckily for him, Stewie had a picture of the place in order to find it. He finally stumbled upon a what seemed to be abandoned warehouse in a nearly deserted area. Stewie looked at the picture and at the building to make sure.

"_Wow, she used to live here? Oh well, homes can't always be perfect."_ Stewie thought.

He entered the warehouse and saw that no one was there. This confused him as he thought someone would still be there. He looked around and only saw nothing but a couch in the middle of the room. Stewie raised his eyebrow in confusion and wondered why would a couch be doing there? But didn't tend to find out.

He looked some more and then yelled, "Hey! Anybody here? Somebody come out here."

After a few silent moments, a man with dark sunglasses appeared before him, he had a hairstyle that almost like a afro. He looked at Stewie and he looked at him, the room was a bit silent until Stewie decided to break the silence:

"Um, do you live here?"

"Holy shit, you can talk?" He surprisingly asked, "Hey, Shinji, Kensei, you guys have to come over here!"

And then, three people, including one girl came over to see what he wanted, the first guy had short blonde hair and a creepy smile on his face. The second was a muscular man with Grey hair and the third had green hair and a white skin-tight suit.

"Okay, you don't have to do that, man." Stewie yelled out somewhere, "Anyways, who the fuck are you guys?"

"Holy shit, that baby can talk!" The blonde haired man said.

"Yeah, no shit I can talk. Now, who are you people, what's your names."

"Fine. My name is Love Aikawa. And the creepy ass one is Shinji Hirako."

"Okay, but who are they?"

"Oh, his name is Kensei Muguruma and-"

"Why are you telling my name to a stranger, let aside a baby." Kensei protested.

"Shut up, man." Stewie growled, "Alright, Kensei. Who is that chick?"

"Oh, her name is Mashiro, my old lieutenant."

"Nice to meet you." Mashiro greeted.

"Yeah, nice to meet you. I'm here to find somebody."

"Okay, first tell us your name." Shinji told him.

Stewie sighed and said, Whatever, my name is Stewie Griffin, the guy who's about to ice someone if you idiots don't listen to me."

"Okay, what do you want?" Kensei asked the small captain.

"Okay first, do you know somebody named Lisa Yadomaru?"

"That depends, which one are you talking about?"

"I don't know, braided black hair, wears glasses, very distant, reads porno, has kinda green eyes."

"Oh, we know her. She disappeared somewhere last week."

"Are you gonna say that she's not coming back?" Shinji asked.

"Not exactly, she actually sent me here to find this one girl. Do any of you know someone named Hiyori Sarugaki?"

"Uh, yeah. Unfortunately."

"So, where is she?"

Then, all of a sudden, a girl with pigtails finds and joins the five. She looked at them and asked, "What are you four dumbasses doing here, aren't we suppose to train?"

"That's your answer." Shinji sighed.

"Okay," Stewie walked over to her and asked, "Are you Hiyori Sarugaki?"

"One and only."

"My name is Stewie and I was sent here by one of your friends."

"You mean Lisa?" Hiyori remarked, "Why would she sent you here? And why?"

"We wanted to start a endurance tournament along with my lieutenant and you-know-who. And she told me that you would be great to officiate."

"What did you mean by you-know-who?" Love asked him.

"Sousuke Aizen, the man that's currently pissing me off."

"What! Are you saying she left us to side with that bastard?" Kensei yelled.

"Actually, she left to side with me."

"You mean, you're really Aizen right now?"

"Oh god, we didn't even see it coming." Mashiro panicked, "It seems now we gotta kill you."

"What? No! I'm not that ass-licking faggot."

"Prove it." Shinji said.

"Prove what? He may be 'smart', but he not smart enough to disguise as somebody else."

"How do you know that?"

"Because he tried to disguise himself as a frog. When you see a grown man hopping and making frog noises, you just can't help but shake your head."

"He might have a point." Love inquired.

"Exactly. Will you do it?" Stewie asked her.

Hiyori thought about it for a second and said, "Yeah, whatever. There's nothing better to do."

"Great. We shall leave now."

"Now? Why the hell should we leave now?"

"Don't know, now let's go."

Meanwhile, with Stewie and Hiyori on their way, the other three grown bored. Instead of his usual behavior, Aizen just sat down, doing nothing while Brian talked to Lisa to get to know her some more.

"Hey, Lisa? Here's a few questions: Why do you hate Aizen?" Brian asked her.

"Because he made me into the person I am today." Lisa answered.

"A bitch?"

"No. I was turned into a Vizard because of him."

"Ah. Does that explain why you're such a bitch?"

Lisa viciously glared at him and growled, "I hope you can run as good as you talk."

"And what's that's suppose to mean?"

"You like to run your mouth so much, I'd like to see you run with your legs...while I'm chasing you."

'Yeah, okay. Next question: Even though you are like...'undead' and all, do you have any family members?"

"Yes. I do."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my family is pretty cool or perfect as you would put it. All I can say is, they are pretty damn cool."

"Any family in particular?"

"You'll have to figure that out yourself," Lisa replied, "Shit, where's Stewie?"

"I don't know. Anyways, here's the last question..."

"What?"

"Can we call Risa-chan?"

"Uh, what? Why would you wanna call me that in general?"

"Because it's suitable for you. You're Japanese, it's how it spelled in the language and it's cute."

"I don't think it's cute...at all."

A near-sleeping Aizen shifted a bit and murmured, "Prude."

"What did you say?" Lisa hissed, overhearing his little comment.

"I said...you're a prude." Aizen tiredly answered. Lisa responded by taking off her shoe and throwing it at him.

Brian was a bit surprised and mumbled, "Damn, bitch." Lisa turned her attention from Aizen and started to glare deeply at Brian again.

"What was that?" she said, with her tone as dark as...ever.

"Uh..did I say 'bitch'? I meant..." He stopped his sentence, knowing he was screwed, so he just gave up and sighed, "Just give it to me."

She accepts his request and kicks Brian straight towards Aizen, being in a lot of pain at the moment, he and Aizen chose not to anger Lisa again, although Aizen didn't actually intend to this time. Anyways, while Aizen laid there resting, Lisa as irritated as ever and Brian groaning in pain, they heard somebody at the door but it was more like someone was breaking in.

The three...well, two actually, went to the door. Even though his head hurt, Brian grabbed an axe and Lisa picked up a nearby baseball bat, staring at the door to see what else happens. But outside was actually Stewie and Hiyori, who had just came back.

Apparently, Hiyori had a problem opening the door, so she mumbled, "What the fuck? What's wrong with your door?"

"Huh? That's strange. Pick me up, I'll handle it." Stewie replied, she picked him up and faced him towards the door knob.

Stewie tried maneuvering the door open while Brian and Lisa were ready to strike them on the other side. He attempted to slam his body towards the door, but because of his body, it didn't budge. So after trying almost everything possible, Stewie ordered Hiyori to put him down, so he could think.

"Okay, this thing isn't gonna open." Stewie told her, but he came up with an idea, "Hiyori, just cut this bitch into bits."

"With pleasure." Hiyori happily agreed, taking out her Zanpakuto and began cutting the door into pieces.

On the other side, Brian and Lisa watched 'somebody' cut down the door into four pieces. The door pieces fell to the ground and who they saw was Stewie, alongside him was Hiyori, they didn't know he would actually convince her to come with him, but he manages to do so.

"Uhh, hey guys. I see you're here." Brian awkwardly greeted.

'Yeah. I brought her here, like you said to, Lisa." Stewie said to the stunned two.

"Um...yeah good for you. Guess all that hype of kicking some ass was for nothing."

Because all the noise, Aizen got up from the couch, scratching his head and said, "Ugh...the fuck is going on here?"

"Ah, it seems the dumbass is awake, huh?"

Hiyori took a look at them and stated, "Damn, you guys are...strange."

"Yeah, but I learned to live with it. There's no changing it." Stewie replied, with a slightly frown. They were all confused, except for Aizen who just woke up. Hiyori expected what she was told, which was why she came, but something else may go down soon.

"So...now that she's here, should we start the tournament?" Aizen asked the others. They thought about it for a moment and they all had the thought, _Let's do it. I guess?_.

"Yeah, I guess. Let's do this." Stewie answered, so they gathered up and began to start their planning.

* * *

_About a couple hours later_, the five were planning out what the events shall be, everyone except Aizen had a suggestion because he'll choose something sexual, Brian didn't care less about it at all, since he now felt like the tournament wasn't worth it. As for the other three, they had lots of ideas. But then Stewie chose to limit the tournament to five events.

"Okay, so it's now up to Lisa. Which seven should be do for this tournament?" Stewie said, turning to Lisa for her opinion.

She thought about it for a moment, until she answered, "Okay, let's do these five listed here."

They looked at the challenges, and they liked the idea. So Stewie looked up and said, "Alright, those sound good. Let's do this shit."

Now after they decided which should be done, they called Aizen and Brian over to tell them what they're gonna play in this tournament. And so, they prepared the backyard for these unknown events, with some ensuing danger possible.

An hour later, Stewie, Aizen, Brian and Lisa were in the backyard, after they had turned the entire thing into something from Wipeout. The entire house was fitted for this little game they were about to play. They didn't need to change clothes, of course but they did need armor for a couple challenges. The group was split into two teams, with Stewie and Aizen as the first team and Brian and Lisa as the other.

Now, with them prepared, Hiyori approached the four, got on top of a stage and said, "Okay, you four. This tournament will test your endurance, speed, strength and your ability to work as a team. So now, we move on to the teams, in order to avoid confusion, the teams will wear a bandanas on their heads, Stewie and Aizen will wear these purple bandanas while Brian and Lisa wears the green bandanas."

"Purple seems like my color. Very...manly." Aizen said out loud.

"No it's not, you idiot." Stewie disagreed, he turned to Hiyori and asked, "Hey, can we have nicknames or something?"

"Umm...sure. You can have a nickname, as long as your teammate chooses it." Hiyori replied, not sure what to say after that.

"Okay then. Your nickname will be Zen Master." he proclaimed. Aizen felt sickened by have a nickname like that. But he chose to level up the playing field.

"Oh really? Then your nickname will be Stew Crew." Aizen chuckled, knowing he also hates that nickname.

After seeing what they were doing, Lisa knew exactly what kind of nickname he would get, telling by his smile, "Brian, don't you fucking dare!"

"I decided that Lisa's nickname will be Risa-chan." He said out to Hiyori, she chuckled a bit, however Lisa wanted to choke him to death.

"Alright, asshole. Then your nickname will be B-Fizzy." she fired back, laughing a bit.

"You proud of that? You proud of what you said?" Brian asked her, who was pretty irritated.

"Okay enough. Nobody gets nicknames if you all are gonna behave like this. Now shut up and listen." Hiyori yelled, getting tired of all the bullshit, "Here's the deal: There are five challenges, the team who wins three of five of these challenges, will win."

"Seems fair enough." Stewie agreed, liking the idea.

"Good. Now for the first event." she announced, "This challenge will involve these plates of deviled eggs on this table and the two things covered on the other. Now pick up a plate and the 'surprise'."

They do so with Aizen and Brian taking the deviled eggs and Stewie and Lisa taking what was covered up. They weren't allowed to uncover what was under the cloth, but Hiyori then told them:

"Alright on my word, you guys remove the cloths. Now."

They removed the cloth, only to see a little animal that kinda looked like a Furby toy. This confuses the four, two knew what it was but the other two didn't.

"Um, what the hell is this?" Aizen asked.

"Those are what people call, a Furby." Hiyori explained, "These things are actual live creatures, there were hard to find apparently. Here's the challenge: You must resist their cuteness, if you fall prey to it's loveable face, you will end up feeding it a deviled egg. If you feed it, then it will become a monster and attempt to devour you."

"Okay, easy enough." Brian said, not finding it a challenge.

"Alright, now start."

They began to stare into the their faces, but that until Aizen ate the deviled eggs and Stewie snapping it's neck. Brian and Lisa were surprised, they thought for a moment because they ate the eggs and killed it, they automatically win. That's when Hiyori went and said:

"Huh? I guess they win."

"What? They killed it, how do they win?" Brian protested.

"The reason they win is because they are too cold-hearted to fall victim to it's looks. And since they killed it, they automatically win since they're not the people to fall for that shit."

"It's like seeing a hot woman with huge boobs and there the cute, flat-chested girl. The first is bound to get you into trouble while the second has more to offer." Stewie explained.

"Ah. So with that, let's move on to the next challenge."

_Now inside the house_, the four were each faced with four covered bowls, Hiyori walked over to the table and lightly placed her fingers on the one next to Aizen, but she explained first:

"Now for this challenge, this one is very...screwed up. I think. So for this challenge, you four must eat this."

Hiyori then pulled the cloths from all four bowls, but they didn't know what their eyes met with, basically confusing the four.

"Okay, now what the fuck...is this?" Lisa slowly asked.

"The fuck you think is it, Lisa? It's meatballs." Brian answered, but unfortunately, he was a little off.

"Well, technically...you're right, Brian. But these are a little different." Hiyori explained.

"Well, what are they?"

"It's a variety of horse and bull testicles with a lightly thick Tabasco sauce." She revealed, then their eyes grew wide and looked at the bowls, "Apparently, you guys must eat this in less than five minutes, the team that eats the most wins and of course, vomiting disqualifies."

Not only did they have to eat it, they were horrified. Neither of them would ever imagine doing something like this. But then Aizen was a bit confused, so he asked:

"Um, what does strength and speed have anything to do this challenge?"

"This challenge is about inner strength, the ability to do something that no normal person would ever attempt."

"Ah. Seems reasonable. But this is out of the question."

"Just shut up and do it."

"Fine."

"Now...be-" Hiyori tried to say, but Lisa cut her off.

"Wait! I need to ask something?"

"What is it?"

"Does microwaving disqualify?"

Hiyori thought about it for a second and gave her answer, "Um no. I don't think so."

"Okay, just checking. Let's do it."

"Yeah...uh?...begin."

The four prepared themselves, but Brian still had a problem with this. Stewie and Aizen had just begun eating, Aizen terribly did not want to swallow it but Stewie didn't care and started eating it with no problem.

Brian looked at them eat it and he just said, "I don't know if I can do this..."

Lisa wasn't gonna allow him to back out, so she slapped him upside his head and yelled, "Don't you dare back out, you pussy! Now shut the fuck up and eat it."

He was already seeing Lisa devour almost half of her bowl, which gave him the thought she didn't care what she was eating. He wasn't disgusted but rather...yeah disgusted.

"Damn, how can you eat that crap?"

"Very simple. Not really. But I don't care if I'm eating animal scrotum, at least it's meat and not human."

"Still gross."

"Shut up and eat."

Brian took a look at the bowl, and felt like vomiting. He had already saw the other three eat what was inside, but with less than two minutes left, Lisa had already finished her bowl, while Stewie and Aizen had ate nearly more than her, but that wasn't the case. What he needed to focus on was eating some to win the challenge. Brian grabbed a piece of it and took a bite, he tried not to puke after biting down and swallowing.

He began to eat some more, his mouth was burning hot by the sauce and didn't know if he could finish the whole bowl in such little time. He was nearly halfway done and right when he was about to continue, he bit down on one until he felt something squirt in his mouth. And that was it for Brian, he stuck his finger in his mouth and a white substance trailed out of his mouth from his finger. Brian froze up for a moment, with his jaw twitching. A few silent moments later, he couldn't hold it and puked all over the floor and himself for about several seconds.

Stewie and Aizen were surprised, Hiyori just shook her head and Lisa just looked at him and growled, "You weak son of a bitch."

"Um...I guess they win." Hiyori said, kinda surprised but there was a catch, "Uhh, you know what? How about we cancel the last two challenges? It won't be pretty though."

"So that means we win?" Aizen asked.

"Not exactly." She replied, Hiyori quickly thought about it and she explained, "Since the two events are canceled, the wins are abolished. Meaning the winner of the next challenge, takes it all."

Stewie and Aizen didn't chose to argue, since they won so easily, neither Brian or Lisa found a problem with the plan. But they wondered what the now-last challenge was.

_Ten minutes later_, the four had armor on, not the usual kind but armor all the same. This time, they were outside and the backyard was refitted for this challenge. Instead of wearing the purple and green bandanas, they wore them on their left and right arms. They waited for Hiyori to come outside, as she was retrieving the equipment needed. She came out here with them, carrying a box that seems to have guns inside.

Stewie didn't understand, so he asked, "Hey, what's inside the box? Do we have to shoot and kill each other?"

"Shoot, yes. Kill, no." Hiyori replied, "This is the last challenge. You guys must take these paintball guns and shoot each other. But, there a catch. There is a series of random items that will strike you, if you're not careful. Avoid these items, go through the obstacles and take out the your opponents."

"Um, okay. That's all we gotta do?"

"Yeah, kinda. Now go!"

The four rushed to different places, they were good in the stealth department but Brian was a different story. He was going all around the place, trying to find a place to hide or try to take out Stewie or Aizen. Speaking of the two, they were moving slow but able to keep themselves from being caught, trying to hunt down the other two. They decided to work as a team to take them out.

Then suddenly, Brian spotted Stewie in open range, so without thinking, he came out of his hiding spot and attacked Stewie, firing several paint balls at him. Little did he know, Stewie and Aizen set a trap earlier, placing a dummy version of Stewie in place of the real Stewie. Brian doesn't discover this until he went over and saw the dummy body, while he was completely stooped, Stewie and Aizen was behind him, about prepared to fire at him. Either way, they shot at him a dozen times without warning.

Now with Brian 'shot down', Hiyori waved him out of the game, leaving only Lisa as the last target. The two didn't find her as much as a threat, at least that's what Aizen believed.

"Alright, let's handle this bitch and we will sweep these clowns." Aizen laughed, believing that she will be easy. However, Lisa came out of nowhere and repeatedly shot down Aizen, without mercy or even restraint.

Before he fell to the ground, he mumbled, "Aw goddamn it."

After he was waved out of the game, it left only Stewie and Lisa remaining in the game. They stared at each other for a while, with Aizen pretending he is dead, Brian just sitting on the ground watching and Hiyori taking a shot vodka to kill time.

"So...I guess it's down to us, huh?" Stewie said, while slightly smiling, "You wanna prove to me that you're worthy?"

"Bring on, you little bitch."

Then the remaining two began firing, they were all over the battleground as it probably wasn't a paintball fight, but rather a test between agility and speed. They kept shooting at each other while unintentionally performing acrobatic moves, they were shooting at a fast rate yet they weren't out of ammo yet. Stewie and Lisa went over to their defeated partners and took the guns from them, just in case. The two ran in a circle, shooting at each other, but there was no success.

Getting a little boring and pointless, they used they're physical abilities while firing at a lower rate. And strangely enough, they were using the guns as if it was a sword. Stewie and Lisa launched a kangaroo kick at each other, but it failed, pushing them away from each and rolling to the ground.

They quickly got up and pointed the paintball guns at each other, they stared at each other for a moment and pulled the trigger...but nothing fired out. The two were incredibly confused, they tried banging the guns to see if it's jammed. Until they discovered they were out of ammo, which made them feel stupid. But they remembered that they had another paintball gun with them. Then, Stewie and Lisa glared at each other again, also ready to end it.

"Time to finish this." Lisa said, not at all scared if she'll get hit.

They pulled the trigger at the exact same time, at how fast it was going, they didn't have enough time to react and the two was both hit in the face, causing both Stewie and Lisa to fly a foot off the ground. They landed with Lisa losing her glasses, and they wondered who won? But Hiyori had to make the decision herself.

Hiyori looked at them for a moment and turned away to make a decision, she turned back over and said, "Since you two managed to hit each other at the same fucking time, my decision is: the tournament ends in a tie."

"Which means we won?" Aizen asked.

"No, you dumbass! It means nobody wins. Get it?"

"Oh. That sucks. Oh well, at least we beat them twice."

"Oh shut up," Lisa growled, picking up her glasses, "We would have kicked you guys' asses, if Brian didn't fucking puke."

"Sorry. I just couldn't eat it." Brian apologized.

"Whatever."

"Alright, guys. Even though neither of us came out with the win, at least me did our best...apparently." Stewie told the three.

"What surprises me is that you guys avoided all the random items?" Hiyori added, in fact, what she said was actually true.

"Then maybe we were lucky then."

"Whatever, then. I'm leaving."

"Awwwww. Why?" Aizen asked.

The other three retaliated by yelling, "Shut up, Aizen!"

"Why? Unlike her, I don't live here. So, I'm going home."

"Well nice seeing you then, Hiyori. It's been fun." Lisa told her, giving her a farewell.

"Good luck with them. The baby-err..I mean Stewie is cool, but watch yourself with that asshole."

"You don't need to tell me."

"Okay, come with me and I'll send you back to the warehouse in no time." Stewie told her, asking her to follow him to his transporter.

_An hour later_, Hiyori was transported back the the warehouse and the quartet was sitting on the couch, except for Stewie who was sitting in his chair. They had washed off all the paint on them and they felt sore after getting hit in certain parts, well...just Aizen and Brian were sore.

"Well...that was a interesting day." Stewie said.

"Indeed it was. I'm glad we don't have to deal with that for a while." Aizen responded, still feeling sore.

"Don't be sure about that. More crazy shit will happen."

"Like me slicing this asshole in half?" Lisa 'sarcastically' replied.

"Kinda."

* * *

Chapter Eight Omake

_Stewie: "Alright. Now that there's four of us, we can change up the omakes each chapter."_

_Lisa: "Really?"_

_Stewie: "Yeah. It's something we can do afterwards...if we're even alive, of course."_

_Aizen: "Can we choose our own each chapter?"_

_Stewie: "I guess. But nothing sexual."_

_Aizen: "Cool and aw man."_

_Lisa: "Be quiet."_

_Aizen: "I'll be quiet, when you get on your knees and suck this dick."_

_*Lisa kicks Aizen in the nuts...again. And falls to the ground...*_

_Brian: "You guys are insane."_

_Stewie: "Shut up, Brian."_

_Lisa: "Goddamn, I need a fucking drink. Too bad this dumbass drank every drop."_

_Aizen: "You know it, baby."_

_*Lisa growls viciously at him.*_

_Stewie: *Looking at the camera* "Yeah, you guys can just cut tape. It seems we're done here."_

_*Camera turns off, but microphone is still on*_

_Brian: "I also need a drink."_

_Lisa: "Be quiet."_

* * *

End of Chapter Eight


	9. Superheroes Suck!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Family Guy. It is the property of their respective owners.

A/N: As I said on my profile, I'm taking a break from all my Code Geass fics, except Love Versus Time and Irritating Future. It's not a big deal, it's only a month or two and I'll make sure I bring more soon. It only goes for existing ones, so I'll still write some. Maybe like a one-shot; but one of my planned stories will still be written. I'm just gonna focus on other stories I've never gotten the chance to update nor finish. Anyways, enjoy this. I guess?

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Superheroes Suck!**

_Stewie: "Okay, now before we start, I'd like to warn the kind viewers that we do a lot of strange shit. Well, not exactly but, we've already filmed the rest of the season. But we have to go through it, do lots. Who cares. Anyways, this isn't as crazy but it's kinda odd. I hope you fanfic readers get a good laugh...not like you guys even read this. Without no further delay, here's the newest chapter..."_

Over the past seven months, there has been: violence, accusations, nudity, strange powers, arrests, drug use, vampires, Espada, Vizards, eating strange things, doing strange things, and transformations. All in that span of time. But for Stewie, who's currently the new 5th Division captain, has had more than paperwork and dealing with his new subordinates, but rather he has dealt with a lot in less than a year.

The reason for all these events were mostly caused by Aizen, the former captain of Stewie's division and a traitor. Things could not get any worse for the child, as so he thought. But when his lieutenant and best friend, Brian gets into the mix alongside Lisa, the distant Vizard, not only is this new life of Stewie's is bad...it's horribly insane. Maybe?

Now at his house, Stewie received a expense report from the Soul Society detailing the last six months. He wanted to cut somebody, but instead of resorting to violence like always, he decided to pay off the expenses, and come up with something smart. After that is dealt with, Stewie brings in Aizen, Lisa and Brian for a special conversation...

"Alright, guys. I brought you all here for one reason only." Stewie said, walking while he looked at them, "I just got a expense report yesterday, and it wasn't good. At all."

"How much was it?" Brian asked.

"Let's see...it was, let's say about $3,560,787...At least."

"Holy christ, I had no idea you had that much?"

"Yes, but, - Wait, wait?" He was about to reply, but noticed his comment, "...Anyways, nearly half of these costs are because of destruction, construction, and etc. A few are drug-related costs, which I believe is either you or Aizen. And the rest I'm not gonna go into detail."

"We would never use drugs, Stewie." Aizen stated. He, of course has done more drugs than the rest of them.

"What the- You're a fucking liar, Aizen! How many times have I caught you with a crack pipe in your hand?"

"Never."

"Shut up! Now, since I'm lost near four million on your idiots, and Lisa, I've decided to give you all a special spending budget." He announced, giving them all a document with their budgets, expenses, and vice versa.

They were kinda interested by what he set up, then Lisa inquired, "Huh? You really thought a lot about this? But won't this mean this idiot's actions are cut in half?"

"Exactly. It's simple: $200,000 for Aizen, $90,000 for Brian and $350,000 for Lisa."

"Wait a minute! Why do I only have ninety thousand and she gets nearly fifty grand?"

"Yeah?" Aizen added.

"Here's why. Lisa is more of an adult than you two jackasses. Besides, why would I give you guys a larger budget if you'll just blow it on prostitutes, booze and drugs? Or in Brian's case, blow it on whatever you like."

Brian sighs at his response, then told him, "Alright then. So what do we do?"

"I don't know." Aizen replied, "Maybe with this budget, I can work on something cool."

"Just don't let it be drugs. I get charged for that too, you know."

"Whatever it is, it better not be any videos of me naked." Lisa growled.

"Oh come on, my lovely Risa-chan. It's all for fun, am I right?" Aizen replied while touching her face.

"You have five seconds to get your fuckin' hand off me."

"Alright, alright."

"Okay, I gotta get back to the Soul Society. Now if I see one more hooker in this house, I'm gonna gut you." Stewie said, warning Aizen on the side. As the three split away, Aizen got ready to do whatever he was gonna do...

* * *

_**-Soul Society-**_

While Stewie performed some captain duties, he stumbled upon some strange things as he came. After leaving a captain's meeting, the very young captain gets a unusual acquaintance as he walked away from his barracks...

As Stewie was walking with a handful of papers in his hand, he is stopped by another fellow captain, which would unfortunately be Kenpachi Zaraki, the captain of the 11th Division...

"Um...hey?" Stewie said in a confused tone. In truth, he has never had any actual communication between Kenpachi or any of the captains for that matter.

"Hey, boy. How are things with you and that asshole we call Aizen?" Kenpachi asked.

"Well, he's a fucking pain. What else should I say?"

"I bet you've fought him once or twice."

"Trust me. I wouldn't fight that idiot even if he was you."

"Then how about we have some fun?" He proposed, ready to strike him, "I've heard a lot of things about your Zanpakuto. Let's see how strong you really are?"

Although he wanted to fight him, Stewie thought the other way. But then, before he gave him a response, he gets another visit from another captain, Retsu Unohana, the 4th Division captain. (Geez...)

"Captain, I suggest you not try to start a fight. Especially with a child like him."

Despite she was on his side, Stewie sighed, "Jesus Christ, what is it? _'Every captain annoy me'_ day?"

"Don't worry, Stewie. You will not be harmed while I'm here." Unohana told him. Regardless of that, he still wasn't amused.

"How about I leave? It will help my whole situation right now."

"Not until you fight me!" Kenpachi yelled. But he wasn't gonna fight him, and he didn't need Unohana of all people to defend him.

But like before, Byakuya suddenly came which started to piss off Stewie, "What the fuck? Do I look like Ichigo to you people?" He yelled.

"Don't flatter yourself, boy. You're nothing like him."

"Well despite the fact that you're an asshole, you...what else should I say? You're an asshole."

"Kinda true." Kenpachi agreed.

"Quiet. Both of you. Don't forget that you are always around that man." Byakuya scowled, referring to Aizen as well.

"Swear to god, if somebody says that man's name again, I'm gonna take out my Zanpakuto and cut you three down..." Stewie angrily murmured.

Neither of them could hear what he said, but they chose not to know. But of course, Unohana asked, "What's wrong, captain? Has being close to Aizen made you bitter?"

At that point, Stewie wanted to charge at her and cut her up; but he instead answered, "Actually, he IS the reason that I'm bitter."

"Which means you are the asshole?" Byakuya inquired.

"Nope. You're still the asshole among us."

"How about you two shut up, so me and this kid can fight." Kenpachi told them.

"When did I ever say that I wanted to fight?" Stewie questioned him, they were pissing him off but he thinks of something, "Okay everyone, it's been awesome but I'm gonna throw these papers now. Bye."

Stewie then throws the stack of papers and flash-stepped away from the three annoying captains. They were rather confused, but they chose not to go after him. And so, Stewie was just about to head back to the Human World.

* * *

Speaking of that, Brian and Lisa were in the living room watching television and such, usually out of boredom. What got their attention was that Aizen has been gone for a while, more rather, ever since Stewie left. But they didn't give a damn, whatever he was doing...they didn't give a shit.

"Hey, if you had a gun with one bullet and you were stuck in a room with Aizen and Hitler, who would you shoot?" Brian asked her.

"Easy. I would shoot Aizen. Hands down. Wouldn't even think twice about it, if I did, then I would shoot that asshole and buy Hitler a beer."

"Wow. That is fucking insane. I wonder if Stewie would shoot Hitler?"

Out of nowhere, Stewie returned from the annoyance fest that is called the Soul Society. He finds Brian and Lisa sitting and talking, but can't find Aizen anywhere. And he expected them to watch him, but they had no idea about that.

"Hey. Where the hell is Aizen?" Stewie asked them. They both respond by shrugging, "What the? Weren't you guys supposed to watch him?"

"Nope." Both of them answered.

"What the hell? When I'm gone, you guys have to watch him."

"Well, we haven't seen the bastard since you left." Lisa told him, and this was true. Stewie sighed and decided to walk away to find him, but he sees Aizen rushing downstairs to tell them something. Unfortunately.

"Guys! Guys! Come on, I finished my project!"

"Did you go through a whole porn collection in one morning?" Brian sarcastically replied.

"No. I tried that, it's impossible. But that's not I'm talking about. Come upstairs, you all will love it."

"If it involves going into that hell pit that you call a room, then no." Stewie told him.

"Just come on."

A minute later, Stewie, Brian and Lisa were in Aizen's room and it was surprisingly clean. But he put them in a good order and announced his project:

"Okay, we all have shinigami powers, right? Well, for Lisa, she's a shinigami with Hollow powers..."

"Thanks to you, ass wipe."

"...Anyways, how awesome would it be if we use our powers for good and stop criminals, hollows and shit?"

"Aren't we doing that ALREADY?" Brian stated.

"Yes. But as our normal selves."

"What IS normal to you, exactly?" Lisa asked, since he obviously has no idea.

"I don't know?" Aizen answered while he moved someplace else, "But that's not the point. But to answer my question: How about we four become...superheroes?"

Stewie, Brian and Lisa looked at him as if he was drugs, but not the usual; more like the hard stuff. However, Aizen was dead serious about the question and it wasn't a bad one either. Although, they seriously hoped he was joking about this.

"Aizen, are you on drugs again?" Stewie asked him.

"Hell naw. I'm serious here. Now listen up, it's not a bad idea. At least it clever at that."

"You got a point there, idiot. But how do you expect people to SEE us?"

"I made a specific device that can help that. Still, that's not the point right now. So, are you guys in?"

They looked at each other before they made their decisions; it was interesting but rather retarded at best. But that didn't matter, and so they all answered:

"Yeah sure."

"I knew you guys would agree."

"So, dumbass? Did you made like uniforms and that stupid shit?" Brian sarcastically asked him.

"Why yes, bitch. I certainly did. For all four of us."

"You did?" Lisa inquired.

"Well duh." He replied as he pushed a button and revealed everyone's outfits. Each one was labeled by name, and the outfits were weird, "May I present, you guys' uniforms."

They looked at their respective uniforms, while Stewie mumbled, "God, and I thought our shinigami uniforms were weird."

"No shit. I designed and made them specifically for you guys and myself. They weren't hard to make really, all I did was make them based on your personalities, bodies and all that."

"I can see that...unfortunately."

While Stewie hardly accepted this, something about Lisa's uniform didn't click with her, "Okay, can you please answer me this? Why does mine look like it'll show a lot of my body?"

"Because it will." Aizen answered truthfully.

"...Yeah. I'm still cool with the whole superhero thing, but I am not wearing that."

"Why do you care? You practically fight in a fucking sailor fuku, so what 's the big damn deal with this?"

"I still have standards, you know?"

"Since when?" Brian mumbled, hoping that she didn't hear that comment. But she did, so she proceeded to punch him straight in the face.

"Next time you say that, I'll do more than punch you." She told him, "And still, I'm not wearing it. In fact, I would rather fight butt ass naked than put that on."

"Okay, I'm cool with that."

For a bit, Lisa thought about it and fighting naked would still be a victory for Aizen anyways, "On second thought, I'd rather wear it. I'm not gonna give you the satisfaction of seeing me nude."

"Okay then. Now take your uniforms, put them on and while you do, think of a good superhero name."

"You didn't while you made them?" Stewie wondered.

"Meh, I didn't want to."

"Figures..." He mumbled; the other three picks up their uniforms, but for some reason, Brian found his to be rather confusing.

"Hey, why is my uniform just a single cape?" Brian asked him.

"Oh yeah. I didn't expect you to do much, and since you are a dog it would be weird. So I made yours as a cape; I made it stylish for you though."

"Why thanks, you dick."

"You're welcome..."

* * *

_Later on_, they went and tried them on, Aizen was also putting his on but he did so in another room. Stewie thought about this entirely and it was pretty crazy though, but it was nothing compared to the agonizing hell he's faced before. Honestly, his 'superhero' thing was a little crazy. If not, completely retarded.

Before they went out there looking ridiculous, Lisa was having problems fitting into hers:

"Goddamn it! This shit is too fucking tight!" Lisa scowled within the dressing booth.

"What does it look like?" Stewie asked her.

"You'll find out soon." She answered, trying to fit it on right, "Argh, goddamn that hurt!"

"Need help?"

"Don't worry, I'm almost finished. Just need to put on these boots."

"Um, sure...?" Stewie replied strangely, "So, tell me Brian. How do I look?"

"Very mysterious. I can't find a better word for it." Brian answered him, "I just wish that Aizen gave me more than a damn cape."

"You think that's bad? For god's sake, I look like a freaking hooker!" Lisa yelled out, which got him laughing.

"Don't be embarrassed, Risa-chan. We'll love it."

Lisa stared at Brian from above the booth and said, "Keep laughing, I'll make sure that you lose all of your teeth."

He stopped laughing since he knew that she can kick his ass. Stewie waited to see what she looked like, and soon enough she came out. Brian and Stewie were very surprised on how she looked in her uniform, as it looked like a modified dominatrix outfit. Another feature of hers was that her hair was down and was no longer wearing glasses. Neither of them could think of anything to say, they seriously couldn't.

"Remind me to kill Aizen when this is over." Lisa told them.

"No kidding." Stewie replied, "So, what's your superhero name gonna be?"

"Well, since she looks like a dominatrix, how about she should be called 'Dominatra'?" Brian suggested; which gained some glared from both Stewie and Lisa.

"You know what? You just earned a ass-kicking." She angrily said. But then Stewie stopped her...

"Wait, wait. To be fair, Dominatra isn't a bad name. At least it fits the look."

"It does?" Lisa asked, in which he nodded, "Um..okay. Consider that ass-kicking revoked, Brian."

"Gee thanks."

"Shut up," She said, "So, what are you guys' names gonna be?"

"I was thinking about 'The Dark Shadow'. As for him, he should be called Red Rover."

"You dick." Brian snarled.

"Be quiet, ass clown. At least it's not THAT bad."

"I've lost all self-confidence as a dog. And hey, how about you do a little dance, Mr. Jackson?"

Stewie didn't respond since if he did, he would certainly tear him up. Either way, they left and went to show them to the bastard that made them. Lisa was very uncomfortable wearing it, basically since it was so suspiciously tight on her. Stewie was rather comfortable wearing it, but the fedora he had to wear was pretty stupid and as for Brian, all he had was a red, 'stylish' cape. They took at look at Aizen and they had some very weird looks on their faces.

"So. How does this look?" Aizen asked them. Neither of them chose to reply, "Well, that doesn't matter. Anyways, you guys look great. Especially you, Lisa."

"I'm gonna murder you." Lisa quietly scowled.

"Calm down, Lisa. At least you aren't naked." Stewie informed her, then turned to Aizen, "So, douchebag? What's your superhero name?"

"Glad you asked." He responded, using his apparent intro, "I'm...The Man of Epicness!"

Stewie, Lisa and Brian just gave him blank looks, not because he was wearing white (which is similar to is whatever look, before the long hair), but because that bit he did was so idiotic, that they wanted to beat him down badly.

"So, what are you guys' superhero names?"

"Dominatra." Lisa told him.

"The Dark Shadow." Stewie also told him, "Also, Brian's superhero name is Red Rover."

"Oh wow." He replied, since he honestly had nothing else to say after that.

"Damn you guys." Brian growled.

"Shut up, dog."

Now that they were all together, they didn't know what to do right now. This even caused Lisa to ask, "So, what should we do now?"

"Well, now that we got them on, let's do our jobs. Right about now..."

* * *

_'In a weird world that is filled with crooks, hollows and etc, or whatever. But one day, four people who is either a Shinigami or Vizard, emerged (sort of?) from the Human World and dedicated their god given powers to protect the innocent and fuck up all the evil, except Aizen. And they are:_

_Stewie: "The Dark Shadow." | Aizen: "The Man of Epicness. That's right." | Lisa: "Dominatra." | Brian: "..and Red Rover. You bastards..."_

_Wherever the fuck they are, they will always save the day. If Aizen isn't on the pipe, though. Otherwise, watch out because these four dumbasses are coming for you. I think.'_

In the quartet's headquarters, they sat around doing nothing. And they also wanted to kick Aizen dead in the nuts for making them wear all of this. But before anyone could say a word, the large television screen started messing up, only to receive a message from a strange man.

"Hello, superheroes. Glad I caught you all in time. But enough bullshit, there is some business you need to handle." The strange man informed them.

A sudden moment of silence swept them, until Stewie asked, "Who the fuck are you?"

"Yeah. And how did you even get this number?" Aizen also asked. The guy hesitated until...

"I would like to take the time to show you fine superheroes an amazing product, which is super!"

"I'll give you super..." Lisa said as she pulls out a gun and fires bullets at the screen. Now that the screen was damaged, it completely shorted out.

"Hey! Do you know how much of Stewie's money I had to spend to get that?" Aizen yelled.

"My money? You fucking dick."

"Yeah, yeah. So what is our mission?"

"I just discovered a series of Hollows in Karakura Town. Two lieutenants are already there, so let's try to handle this." Brian told the three.

"If there's already two lieutenants handling it, then why should we go?" Stewie inquired.

"Not sure, but let's just go anyways."

As they left for their so-called mission, Aizen looked at Lisa and he was hypnotized by her looks. When he walked towards her, he whispered:

"Man, I'd like to place my hand upon your fucking sexy ass and squeeze..."

Unfortunately for him, Lisa heard him clearly and answered by slamming her foot into his testicles. Again. Falling and groaning in pain, Aizen crawled the best way out of there. Although they were going for hollows, who knew what they were gonna deal with.

* * *

_**-In Karakura Town-**_

Ichigo and Rukia, the lieutenants of the 12th and 13th Divisions respectively, were on patrol of hollows, but what they got was a mass army of hollows. Some were flying everywhere, some were walking and one of them was buying a lottery ticket. Not even these two could handle them by themselves, but what got them thinking was where was the others and why weren't they helping them. Although they were more focused on staying alive than dealing with them.

"Why the fuck do we always get these insane jobs?" Rukia yelled, who was completely irritated by this.

"I have no idea. But I'm very convinced that our captains are trying to kill us." Ichigo answered. He tried his best to fight off them off, but he only managed to kill a few.

"Motherfucker! Why won't these sons of bitches die!"

"I don't fucking know!"

Then, they notice something fall out of the sky. Or somebody, but a closer look and they see that four beams were falling down. As they were distracted by the beams, Stewie beamed out and slashed several hollows like butter. Landing down, the two lieutenants were pretty confused; they didn't know who it was until Rukia noticed his head shape.

"Um...captain?" She inquired, looking closer. But Stewie flashed away and continued to cut down hollows. Out of another surprise, Lisa comes down and slices a hollow in half, who was trying to strike a off-guard Ichigo.

He turned around and took a look at her uniform, so he covering his eyes and face, yelling, "What the- What the hell are you wearing? And who are you?"

"You seriously forgot about me, Ichigo?" Lisa asked, since he couldn't tell. As soon as he heard her voice, he was speechless. But another person beamed down at the hollows, and this time it was Aizen. His quick speed and Kido incantations eliminated every hollow that came in sight.

Ichigo and Rukia were speechless again, as they took a look at his uniform. He didn't notice them, and he didn't care since he was too busy doing his job. With more then half of the hollows gone, and the two lieutenants very confused. Brian finally came down and unleashed a large fireball at them, nearly wiping them out. It didn't take them long to actually notice that it was just Brian, but whatever. In moments, they were all defeated like that. And yet, it was very strange.

"Ummm...who the fuck are you guys?" Rukia asked the four.

"Oh hey, Ichigo, Rukia. Didn't notice you guys there." Stewie replied after he looked behind.

"Captain, sir? What are you and your lieutenant doing?"

"And with Lisa and whoever the hell that is." Ichigo added.

Aizen then turned around and said, "Hello, Ichigo. It's certainly been a while."

"Yeah, a long time since one of the Espada got the hots for me."

"Oh. How is she? I haven't heard from her or anyone in Las Noches recently."

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Whatever. Glad we got here in time to save your asses."

Before Ichigo could respond, Rukia stepped over and asked, "Not to be rude, but what are you guys wearing? I've heard of something like this before, but not like this."

"Well, let me sum it up:" Stewie began to explain, "This idiot here decided that we should be superheroes, so we can protect the world and all that crap. I'm thinking he's high right now."

"So...do you guys have like names for each persona?"

"Yep. Aizen is called 'The Man of Epicness', Lisa is called 'Dominatra', Brian is called 'Red Rover' and I'm called 'The Dark Shadow'. Very stupid, I know."

The two started laughing when they heard Brian's superhero name, which made his luck more suckish. They continued laughing for a good few minutes, and when Brian finally had enough, they gained a big surprise. The six of them looked up and saw a man in a lab coat with tentacles, and with a strange smile. Neither of them chose to say or do anything since they would obviously laugh, but he evilly greeted himself.

"Greeting, superheroes. We meet again, eh?"

They looked at each other and back at him, like he was crazy. So then, Stewie replied, "Um...who the fuck are you?"

"Yeah," Lisa also said, "We've never even met you, let alone know who you really are."

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm...Tentacle Man. Your arch enemy."

A blank mist of silence swept the area, until Aizen sighed, "I had nothing to do with this."

"For the first time, I actually believe you." Lisa replied.

"Now, superheroes. Feel the wrath of my tentacles!" He proclaimed.

"Oh really? Well, we're gonna kick your ass. From here to right over there." Aizen also proclaimed as he attacked them. They all avoided the attack, and this was beginning to be a bad situation. Or maybe something less than that.

Although they were kinda in bad shit, they decided to play it higher. Stewie, Aizen, Lisa and Brian all unsheathed their swords, each known as a Zanpakuto and attacked him, The tentacles got larger and thicker, which made it harder for them to get to him. Each one hit any building it could see, it was crazy but it was just the beginning. The odd villain took one of his tentacles and attempted to grab hold of Lisa; luckily she managed to summon her hollow mask. From the moment she did so, she cut down the tentacle.

Stewie had enough of this and released his Zanpakuto, again showing it's thin chainsaw like form. From that moment, he cut down any tentacle that he saw; but the strangest part about him was that the tentacles were regenerating on them. Aizen noticed one of them trying to attack Stewie from behind, so he cuts it down with ease; but they were completely surrounded.

With the quartet outnumbered, Ichigo and Rukia came to back them up like they did before. As they both had already released theirs, it wasn't a problem. The two lieutenants attacked from two different sides, while somewhere in whatever they were in, they fought off the bastard tentacles one by one. Meanwhile, Brian noticed a weird hole so he had an idea. He charged at the hole, and released a unknown fireball; it wasn't Kido or anything like that but somewhat different.

As he attacked the now known weak spot, the tentacles got weaker. Which allowed Stewie, Aizen, Lisa, Ichigo and Rukia to easily slice them down. With more of the tentacles going down and unable to regenerate them, the villain tried to shoot down the six. But before he could, they completely surrounded him with a very pissed look on their faces.

"Oh shit. Oh fucking shit."

"Well, it's been nice knowing ya. But time to die." Stewie told him, and so they proceeded to cut him down into pieces. They went for the tentacles, and his human parts. Although he was already dead, they continued to cut him into millions of pieces.

* * *

_**-An hour later-**_

After defeating aka killing the 'enemy', Ichigo and Aizen burned his tentacles while the rest tried to fix the mess that occurred in the process. But after going through all that, was a complete pain in the ass. Even for guys like them.

"Well, guys. Job well done." Aizen said after finishing burning the remainder of the tentacles, "In fact, a bigger job at that. I don't know."

"Yeah, sure." The three replied, since they didn't give a damn.

"When you think about it, that guy wasn't much of a enemy." Ichigo pointed out.

"Yeah. Hell, Aizen is or was a better villain than that fucking tool." Stewie then added.

For a little while, a bit of silence swept them again. And so, Aizen asked, "So, what now? Do we continue this or just whatever."

They thought about it for a little while, so Lisa answered, "How about this..."

_The following day,_ they were in the headquarters in their normal clothes. The four thought a lot about the decision, and they decided to never do the superhero thing again. Never again.

"Are you really sure about this? I mean, we've seen far worse." Aizen stated; But there was no budge.

"Sorry, never again are we gonna do this." Stewie answered, "I can agree that we've seen worse than a guy with tentacles, but this shit...we aren't doing once more."

They placed each uniform into a case, locking it away and buried it outside for good. After that, they wondered about the whole ordeal.

"When you think about it, I'm gonna miss wearing these uniforms." Stewie told them."

"I won't." Brian noted.

"Me neither. Too tight on me." Lisa also noted.

"Well whatever then."

* * *

**Chapter Nine Omake**

_'You're Twisted! Presents: Stewie Griffin's Guide To: Deal with Insanity'_

_Stewie: "Hello, I'm Stewie from Family Guy. If you dumbasses didn't know that. Anyways, Insanity. If you are around people who make you life a twisted whirlpool of craziness and not to mention it pisses you off, Do what I do: Beat the living hell of a inanimate object with a baseball bat. I'm serious, go all out on whatever suitable you can find. It doesn't have to be anything specific, just beat the fuck out of it. I don't care. If you're still angry, then go grab your dick and take your anger on that."_

_Aizen: "So that's why my things look beaten up. You little fucker."_

_Stewie: "Shut up, spaz."_

_Aizen: "Right here, Mr. Gerber." *Gives him the finger.* _

_*silence*_

"_Stewie: "Okay, where's my bat? I'm gonna break his legs right about now."_

_Producer: "Here you go." *Gives him a bat*_

_Stewie: "Thank you." *Starts chasing him with the bat.*_

* * *

**End of Chapter Nine**


	10. Road Trip!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach or Family Guy. It is the property of their respective owners.

**_A/N:_** For some who don't already know, I have myself a new laptop. So basically, I have lots of free time to write and such. Especially edit stuff. Anyways, this is the first story within the Multiverse Circle to reach ten chapters. And this took me months to finally finish; also this is over 10,000 words so don't go 'tl;dr' on this chapter. Enjoy?

* * *

**Chapter Ten: Road Trip**

Although the first several months have been bad for Stewie, he made it very clear for himself that nothing else could possibly go wrong. But in his case, he couldn't ever be sure. Several months ago, he became a shinigami and eventually, his stellar abilities earned him the title of captain. How his lieutenant and best friend, Brian also became a shinigami is still very unknown, but yet the question is very interesting. At the time that Stewie mostly had to abandon his family, his former life completely was something he was more than willing to do.

But a few weeks into his tenure, Aizen popped up into his life and since then, everything has been completely twisted. From what Stewie heard before was the entire deal with Aizen and the Soul Society, and he was prepared to fight him when he ever appeared. However, when Aizen came into his office with unknown intentions, a whole different side of Aizen appeared. A entirely different person than what they actually told him.

Since these two captains met, a series of insanity occurred through Stewie's eyes. Such as the whole Espada thing, witnessing him and Aizen's former lieutenant go all vampire on them, getting arrested and nearly sentenced to life, an endurance tournament to inaugurate Lisa into the group and then the whole superhero deal. Whatever it was that caused all this was far beyond what Stewie could imagine.

But when you think about it, it couldn't get any worse for him and the rest. Yet he wasn't so sure about that, and he didn't want to affect that chance. Neither did Aizen, Brian or Lisa.

_**-Inside Stewie's house-**_

While the young captain was sleeping, Aizen and Brian were in the kitchen doing some pretty strange experiment with the sink while Lisa watched Stewie while he slept. Brian had some doubt on what he was doing, and he was unsure if this experiment would even work; let alone sounds right.

"Aizen, are you actually sure that this will actually work?" Brian asked him.

"If it can work on an Arrancar, it can sure as hell work with a sink." Aizen answered; he then proceeded to drop a strange ball down the drain and they watched it to see what happens.

Meanwhile, Lisa was sitting by Stewie's bedside while she read one of her mangas until she heard a huge *boom* that literally knocked her outta her chair, but didn't wake up Stewie luckily. Lisa got up and picked up her glasses than fell on the ground.

"What the fuck was that?" She asked herself. So she went downstairs to investigate it.

Moments later, Lisa walked downstairs to see what happened; she saw that the living room was intact so she checked the kitchen, only to see that basically half of it was obliterated. Much to her dislike, she found Aizen and Brian covered in black dust and was completely dizzy from the explosion. Lisa looked at the sink and saw it more than broken, but more like disintegrated...or whatever happened to it.

"What in the hell happened here?" Lisa yelled at them both.

Brian weakly got up, but was still wobbly but answered her, "Well, let me put it this way. I listened to Aizen, that's what happened."

"Damn it, Brian. Do you know what will happen if Stewie woke up and saw this. You'll get more than a demotion, you and this dumbass will get killed."

"Well sorry. Next time, I'll make sure that I never listen to this idiot."

"Fine then, but what the fuck did you do in here. And plus, where's the goddamn sink?"

"Well here's what happened," Aizen spoke out, who was to explain this after all, "I used this secret thing that I used to use on the injured Arrancars. But apparently it ONLY works on them, not sinks. And that's the whole demise of the sink."

Lisa slammed her palm into her face and sighed, "Jesus, Aizen. You're already in enough shit with Stewie, do you always have to increase the chance of him killing you?"

"Well shit. I was only trying to fix the sink, don't be a bitch about it."

"How were you helping? By destroying it?"

"I thought it would help."

While the two argued, Brian intervened and told them, "How about we shut up and fix this before Stewie wakes up."

"Good idea." Both of them agreed. Then they proceeded to fix the whole mess before he woke up, but a few minutes later, they managed to handle a little of the mess but they were surprised when Stewie appeared before them.

He took his time to look around and see that his whole kitchen was nearly in ruins. A little while of silence later, Stewie looked at the others and said:

"I better be dreaming right now. Because if I'm not, I'm gonna have to smack a bitch up."

Neither of them had the guts to answer him. However Lisa did, so she told him, "You aren't dreaming. This was something that these idiots did."

"I see. Now, who should I kill first?" Stewie asked them, about to whip out a gun. And so, both Brian and Lisa pointed at Aizen, since it was his fault from the beginning.

"Hey! Fuck you both." Aizen cursed out.

"Shut up! You know full fucking well that it's all your fault." Brian snapped back.

Before Stewie could even try and shoot him, he reconsidered it, telling them both, "You know what? Destroying the sink isn't worth killing you over. For now."

"So now what?" Lisa asked him. He thought about it for a bit before he could give her an answer.

"Well, the first thing you guys should do is clean this fucking mess." Stewie told her, "And if Aizen ever tries to get one of you to help him with whatever, either hit him or walk away."

"Okay then."

* * *

_**-Hours later-**_

Stewie was out doing some of his duties as captain, while he had Lisa stay at home and watch Aizen and Brian from doing something else wild and insane. But they were sitting on the couch doing nothing since the television somehow disappeared from the wall. But as Brian was reading and Aizen was doing clearly nothing, they heard the phone ring.

Aizen walked over and picked it up, "Hello?"

"_Hello, is Stewie Griffin home by any chance?"_ The person asked, who sounded like a woman.

"Um, no. He's not. Can I leave a message?"

"_Yes. Tell him to call me back, it's extremely important that he does. And don't worry about the number, he knows it already."_

"Okay then, can I ask for your name just so he knows?"

"_Sorry, I can't. Just tell him a woman with blue hair called him. He'll get what I mean."_

'Too bad I didn't.' Aizen thought, while he replied, "Okay, I'll tell him."

"_Thank you, very much. Have a nice day."_ She told him as the tone went dead. Meanwhile, Lisa walked downstairs as she heard him talking to someone.

"Hey, who was that on the phone?" Lisa asked him.

"Oh yeah, it was just a woman asking to talk to Stewie." He answered her.

"Who would want to talk to Stewie? And for what reason?"

Brian went and answered her, without removing his eyes from his book, "It's just a friend of his. Don't worry about it. And plus, she's not from the Soul Society."

"Okay. You didn't need to tell me that. I've been around there and I haven't once met anyone with blue hair. I think?" Aizen replied, but got him thinking.

"So have I and I haven't seen one. Wait, have I?" Lisa also stated, which also got her thinking too. Either way, Stewie got back early for some reason. Mainly to pick up something. Probably.

"Stewie? What are you doing back here?" Brian asked him.

"Don't know. Don't care. Just need to find something." Stewie replied, as it sounded like he was in a hurry.

While he looked for something, Aizen took the chance to tell him something, "Oh yeah, Stewie. Someone called earlier for you."

"Let me guess: Was it a telemarketer? Because I already placed the house number on the 'No-Call List'."

"No, it was a woman who said it was 'extremely important' that you called her back."

"Did she leave her name?"

"No. But she said that she's 'a woman with blue hair'. She told me that you'd figure it out."

Stewie thought about what he meant by that. He knew that it sounded so familiar yet he couldn't put his finger on it, until he suddenly struck him and he knew exactly what he meant. So he finally answered him:

"Oh yeah! Now I know what you mean. I'll call her later tonight."

"Alright then." Aizen replied, while Stewie went back to the Soul Society. Neither of them knew what was going on, and it was pretty obvious that Stewie wasn't gonna tell them. Nonetheless, they were gonna figure it out eventually.

_**-Later that night-**_

Right after Stewie got back, he went upstairs to call the woman from earlier. With the others fully dazed about the deal, it was still wasn't much of their business though. They waited for him to come back down, well Aizen and Brian did. Lisa was in the kitchen trying to cook dinner despite the whole sink was gone, luckily none of the food was damaged which was the only good thing, plus the stove was damaged itself but it was still operational.

"Hey here's a question," Brian asked them both, "Why is Lisa the only one of us that cooks?"

"...Because she's a woman?" Aizen guessed, only to be slugged out of nowhere with a roller.

"That's not it, you sexist." Lisa angrily yelled.

"What is the reason then?"

"It's because Stewie is too small to do it himself, and plus...do you really want Aizen to cook anything?"

"Wait, four-eyes. You forgot about Brian." Aizen pointed out.

"Believe me, he's more likely to be dinner rather than cook it."

"Good point."

"Well you know what. You guys are dicks." Brian cursed out.

"Hey, Aizen has the dick. Not me."

"Whatever. But I noticed something."

"What?" Aizen and Lisa replied.

"How we are set: Stewie is the commander, who keeps everyone in check. Lisa is the caretaker, I think. Aizen is the fuck up, since he's been starting shit before you came along and I don't know what I am though."

"I'm guessing you're his bitch." Aizen inquired.

In between the kitchen door, Lisa laughed then noticed something, "Yeah, that's ri- Wait, caretaker? Since when have I been the caretaker?"

"Since you got here." Aizen again replied.

"The only one I'll take care of is Stewie. For all I care, you two can go fuck yourselves."

"That was certainly mean."

"Don't like it, then kiss my ass. Or rather Brian's ass."

Before either Aizen or Brian could respond to that, Stewie walked down still talking on the phone after nearly a half hour. They're attention was suddenly drawn to him and whoever he was talking to, they tried not to bother with it but it could have been either way.

Walking over to Aizen and Brian, Stewie said on the phone, "Okay, then. Don't worry, I'll help you move into your new place. Still, sorry for your grandfather. I hope his place is large enough for you. - When? From where I am, I'd say about a few days. - Okay, bye."

Stewie hung up the phone, and he received some odd looks from the others so some silence swept the room, which also confused Stewie.

"Okay, what is it?" He asked them.

"Was it that woman who called this afternoon?" Aizen then asked, not bothering with his question.

"Huh? Yeah. She needed to talk to me about something."

"What did she want?"

"Well, I'm gonna sum it up." Stewie started to explain, "Her grandfather passed a few weeks ago and his will gave her the deed to his house for some reason. Not sure. Anyways, she can't find anybody who can help her move all her stuff in and she's got lots of stuff. So she asked me to get some and help her move in."

"Oh really?" Lisa said, in an intrigued way.

"Yeah really. Anyways, I told her I'll be there in around three days. So all of us are leaving tomorrow morning."

The three of them were rather confused, mostly why he wanted to leave by morning. It wasn't strange or weird, nothing like that. But they were kinda curious about why he wanted to leave early in the morning.

"Tomorrow morning? Why do you want to leave tomorrow? Where does this person live?" Lisa asked him.

"Oh, she lives in Arizona. So we'll be leaving early tomorrow. Like 5am, I guess."

"What?" The three said, with disbelief.

"Yes. So, eat up, get enough sleep and pack because we leave early."

Neither of them chose to give a response since he was completely serious about it. But it was no longer the case, they did just that and readied themselves for tomorrow. Stewie was more than certain that they would get to Arizona in time, yet dealing with Aizen, Brian and Lisa was gonna be a hard task that no other, not even a captain could possibly handle for as long as he will.

* * *

_**-The following morning-**_

With nearly every other person still sleeping, depending on the time zone, Stewie and the gang got packed and ready to drive off to Arizona. All four of them got everything they needed, and more. Which either consisted of manga, porno magazines, books, clothes, you name it; but what they were leaving with wasn't important. Though Stewie was always prepared to deal with Aizen for this long, which is why he took a few precautions first.

As they packed all their bags into the truck, Brian was wondering about something, so he asked, "Hey, Stewie? Why are we driving to Arizona? Wouldn't it be more convenient to fly there?"

Stewie walked over to Brian and whispered, "Think about it. Aizen is already a pain in the ass, just imagine him on a plane."

His eyes widened some by the imagination, knowing him, he would either hijack the plane or try to get 'lucky', so Brian understood why he didn't want to take a plane. So still, they finished packing the car and was just about ready to drive off. After wards, Aizen headed to the driver's seat but found Lisa sitting there instead.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing in the driver's seat?"

"About to drive. Any other questions?" Lisa answered him.

"Yes. I was gonna drive this bitch, now move."

"Sooo...you're asking me to leave a half-wit jackass to handle the wheel?"

"Let's see what Stewie decides then..."

Much to his surprise, Stewie was listening the whole time; so he yelled out, "Lisa's driving. Either get your ass in here or I'll make you."

As much as it hurt him to do, Aizen had completely no option in the matter, so he in fact sat behind Stewie's side. Although him sitting there was most likely against the law, or not. Which basically caught the attention of both him and Brian.

"Hey, isn't a baby not supposed to sit in the passenger seat?" Brian inquired, since it was somewhat of a concern.

"How about shut the fuck up?" Stewie replied; which eventually kept him quiet, "Alright, let's go..."

So then, they were off like that and about to face the unexpected circumstances awaiting them. For Stewie, it was not gonna end well...for Aizen of course, but he didn't care about him at the moment, his deal was to help a very good friend of his. But he might as well have Brian and Lisa handle him, since he doesn't seem to care.

_About a half hour later_, they were already towards state lines and into Connecticut. To a surprise, Aizen hasn't seem much of the country, nor the Human world in general. Lisa was amazed too, but it wasn't much to be amazed about. However, not much time has passed and they were already passed the state line.

"So, where should I go next?" Lisa asked one of them; although Stewie had a map.

"Just keep driving. We'll be in and out of Connecticut in no time." Stewie replied, directing her further. So then, silence swept the whole car since nobody had anything to say at the moment. Plus the fact that everyone was bored.

"Hey, Lisa? Do you wanna play a game?" Aizen asked.

"No, shut up."

"Come onnn..."

"Shut. Up. If you wanna know, I'm trying to concentrate on driving, not fucking around with you."

"Come on, it's very fun."

"You are really asking to get punched right now, are you?"

"How can you if you're driving?"

"Don't test me, Aizen. You won't like me if I did."

Aizen continued to piss her off, more like provoking her at best. Brian was reading and Stewie didn't give a shit, and he was clearly doing this on purpose; primarily because he's bored. After a couple more minutes of annoyance, Lisa finally had enough.

"Listen, you wanna know your options right now." Lisa told him, looking at him by her mirror, "As long as I'm driving, either fuck off or fuck off. Simple."

"Is there another option?" He asked out of curiosity.

She did not bother to answer him, and if she did, it would not be good. Anyways, Aizen finally chose to be quiet and Lisa didn't have to stop the car and kill him; while they started and stopped arguing, they were just out of Connecticut. Well, not exactly; but eventually they were and well into Pennsylvania.

* * *

_**-A couple hours later-**_

The strange quartet was well into Pennsylvania, but unfortunately they were short on gas, something Stewie was completely unaware of when they left. So they sent Brian to do it, obviously. And while Aizen was in the store getting snacks, but not before they checked him for weapons, Stewie and Lisa was talking about where they should go next.

"Alright, now we are here. Which means we are nowhere close to leaving this state." Stewie stated, "However, if we continue going our original route, then everything will be cool."

"Sure, sure." Lisa replied while she looked at Aizen inside, "Stewie, how long do you think we can last with Aizen?"

"Several more hours. Estimated."

"Really?"

"Probably. But the only one who hasn't been a pain the the ass is Brian."

Brian overheard them obviously, so he looked over for a bit only to turn back. Meanwhile, Aizen came out with a entire bag of snacks, since Brian forgot to pack some before they left. He walked past Stewie and Lisa but chose not to say anything as he passed by. And right after that, Brian finished pumping the car and so they got in and were ready to head off.

While they were driving, Aizen was going through the bag of goods that he either stole or paid for. Not quite sure, but he was handing out some snacks to everyone though. Since it was gonna be a long drive outta Pennsylvania, they might as well eat. Lisa was more occupied with driving than eating anything, although she was able to do both. A while later, they were about half-way within the state and it's been quiet for the last four hours.

_As it already hit the afternoon_, Lisa's stomach ached due to the lack of food since last night however she didn't seem to care and since the others were fine for the time being, the only ones that were unaware were Stewie and Brian, while just by looking at her, Aizen knew she felt strange. But he was the very last person that Lisa would ever let help her, with anything.

"Hey, are you hungry or something?" Aizen wondered, trying to look at her. Though it wouldn't be a problem since he's on Stewie's side.

"No. Now, shut up."

"Well from how you are gripping your stomach, I guess you are."

"Be quiet, it's just a stomach ache."

"From what? Lack of food?"

"Why should I tell you about my damn business?"

"Because I'm concerned. There's still some of the snacks left, why not something from here?"

"I'm fine, goddamn it. Leave me alone."

Listening to the whole thing, Stewie told her, "Lisa, just eat something. I don't need wanna leave him behind the wheel."

"Yeah, come on. It won't hurt." Aizen added as he placed his hand on her shoulder. Suddenly, Lisa had a blank yet unamused look which Stewie picked up on; and the car slowly stopped.

A deep moment of silence swept the whole car, in which Lisa slowly cocked her head towards Aizen so he could get a look at her expression, she also looked down at his hand and then back at him. Stewie knew it wasn't good so he backed away as far as he could, as for a sleeping Brian, he felt discomfort which may have been caused by the atmosphere inside the car itself.

"...You have three seconds to get your hand off of me, or else I will murder you right here." Lisa told him, in a very deep and blank tone. Aizen wasn't the kind to listen to threats like that, but from the state she was in, he did just that.

After doing so, she started driving again. Aizen had no idea about hat just happened and Stewie was just lucky that no hell broke loose. Now they were still nowhere close from getting out of the state, and they were already tired.

* * *

_**-The ensuing evening-**_

Taking their usual and original route, the gang were now in Ohio and Stewie, Aizen and Lisa tried not to got to sleep, especially Lisa for instance. 'Luckily' for them, they were in Cleveland which was the closest place where they could find a hotel, or even a motel for that matter. Either could do, but they chose a hotel since the city was too sketchy already. Meanwhile, before they reached one at all, Lisa was close to falling asleep behind the wheel.

Aizen didn't want her to kill them all and herself included, so in a attempt to keep her awake when she was just about to pass out, he slaps her in the back of her head which immediately alerted and pissed off Lisa. She pounded her foot into the brake, and glared viciously at him.

"You better be lucky that I was gonna fall asleep, or else I would have gone insane on you." She whispered.

"Well, thank me then." Aizen replied, though he wasn't serious, "How about we go to that hotel that's over there?"

"Good choice, jackass."

A few minutes later, they pull up in the nearest one that Aizen and Lisa could find. Brian has been asleep since this afternoon and Stewie fell asleep about an hour ago, and when she pulled up, she woke up Stewie and Brian...

"Wake up, guys. Time to get out." She told them, completely tired.

"Wh- what the fuck is going on? Are we in Arizona yet?" Brian wondered, yet he was dizzy and couldn't talk right.

"Not even close, now get out. Both of you."

They would do just that and both Stewie and Brian got out, but when Lisa slammed the driver side door, she completely collapsed to the ground without a single word. Aizen and Brian quickly got to her attention and looked to see what happened.

"Hey Lisa, wake up! Damn it wake up!" Brian yelled, but Stewie came over and stopped him from shaking her.

"Stop it, Brian. She's not dead." He told him, "She's just tired and since she's been starving herself since we left, it only made her weaker."

"So what do we do?"

"Well, first: Aizen, you pick her up and let's head inside."

_The next minute_, they entered with Aizen carrying a passed out Lisa, they went over to check in so Stewie let Brian handle it, since he didn't trust Aizen and it would be very weird if he did it himself; but allowing Brian to do it would be more weirder. But nonetheless, he walked up to the man behind the desk...

"Hello, me and my friends would like to check into your 'fine' hotel for the night," Brian requested, while Aizen still holding a knocked out Lisa, "As you see her, our lady friend is knocked out after hours of no food and being completely tired. So we are ready to pay for the entire night."

"...Um, I have one room for you all. Or would you like to be separate?"

"How about a room for all of us?"

"Alright then," The man told him, giving him a room card, "Enjoy your stay then..."

"Thanks."

A short while later, Stewie, Aizen and Brian enter their room after a long walk up, since the elevator was broken. The room wasn't bad, but for the time being, it had to do. Aizen laid the sleeping Lisa on the bed and jumped up himself. As a force of habit, Brian laid at the foot of the bed while Stewie just sat on the chair, mainly because Aizen wasn't there. He didn't notice him but that wasn't the point right now.

"Hey, how long will she be out?" Brian asked either Stewie or Aizen.

Stewie looked at him and the sleeping Lisa and said, "Well, given the fact that she's been awake since early this morning and haven't eaten anything since before we left: I'd say the whole night, but we aren't leaving until she wakes up."

"Are you sure? Because if we leave driving duties to Aizen, then..."

"Well that won't be a problem."

"You sure?"

"Damn right, I am." Stewie replied, but he thought of something, "Wait a minute, did you use Lisa's card to get this room?"

"I don't know.'

"Okay, just wondering..."

So then, Stewie went and fell asleep and so did Brian, but now he figured out how they would be able to get there in time without any distractions. But the only thing that he has to deal with was Aizen, but he might end up doing something weird nonetheless. Now with their journey on a temporary hiatus for the night, they needed some sleep to gather some energy since they have gotten this far. But as usual, it was only the beginning...

* * *

_**-The next morning-**_

Back in the Cleveland hotel room, the light shined hard onto Lisa's face while it crudely woke her up, she squinted her eyes since the light was so bright and went to find her glasses. After finding and putting them back on, she got up and wondered where she is; and was pretty irritated that Aizen was by her side. Before she could say anything, she heard the phone ring so she went to see who it was.

But as she walked over there, she trips on something on the floor...which happened to be her shoes.

"Wow, I feel like a fucking idiot." Lisa said to herself, getting up and answering the phone, "Hello? - Yes, I'm Ms. Yadomaru, what is it? - ...What the hell do you mean my credit card has been rejected?"

While she argued with the hotel officials, Stewie woke up to the utterances from her and wondered what was going on; while they threatened to come upstairs for them.

'What? No, there's no need to come up..." She replied, trying to persuade them but no luck, "Hello? Damn it!"

"Lisa, you're awake. But what's going on?" Stewie asked.

"We need to get the hell outta here."

"What? What's going on?"

"Well, it seems MY card was rejected so now we gotta get our asses out before they come."

As much as it hurt him, Stewie knew exactly what this meant since him and Brian has gone through the same deal, "Alright, wake them up. I'll think of something..."

"Gladly..." She happily agreed, kicking both Aizen and Brian simultaneously off the bed, "Get up, you fucks! We gotta go!"

With both of them in pain, primarily because they were both kicked off badly, Aizen wondered something, "What the fuck is going on? And why did you kick me off the bed?"

"Shut up and let's go, idiot!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"We are now gonna try and elude someone, now let's go." Stewie explained quickly, so Aizen grabs Brian and heads straight for the door, but they were deemed too late as one of the hotel officials, who was the same person who check them in, was right at the door with a loaded Uzi in his hand. Since they came with no weapons and turning into a shinigami wasn't the smartest move, they improvised.

"Hello there, what are you doing with that in your hand?" Aizen nervously asked.

"Oh this? This is for people who thinks that they could just stay here without paying."

"You aren't really gonna shoot someone, are you?" Lisa inquired, honestly thinking that he would go so far.

"Only if you people try to run."

"Now hold on, let's try and do something less crazy." Brian told him as he looked to resolve this differently, "Now, Lisa. My card is in your bag, so go and give it to the man."

"Yeah fine."

She did so and went into her bag to find his credit card, while the man continued to point the gun at Lisa. She looked for it for a good several moments, but as she looked for it, Aizen had a strange plan so he reached for a lamp and casually walked back over. He stood there behind him without being so close for a little while, as Stewie looked up and saw it behind his back so he played along.

"Hey, sir? I have a wad of cash right here if you want it?" He told him, with a unsuspecting tone. He turned around to see, only for Aizen to slug him with the lamp and knocking him completely unconscious.

Unaware of this 'plan', Brian and Lisa was in completely shock or rather surprise with the guy knocked out, she yelled at him, "What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"Hey! This dick had a gun pointed at you, I couldn't let that pass. But enough bullshit and let's go!"

She chose not to give another response and they would sprint out of the room but as they ran out, Aizen would pick the gun off the floor and followed them, not before he hid it. A while later, they were in the parking lot desperately trying to find their car. Now wasn't the time to carjack someone and Stewie and Brian obviously didn't want it to escalate to that point. But they would find it eventually and quickly get in the car and immediately head off.

It was already 10 am and Stewie and Lisa was already stressed, and this time neither Aizen or Brian did anything this time. Why Stewie was stressed was because he was in the same situation he has always been in with Brian and the reason why Lisa was stressed was because one of them (not Stewie) used her credit card while unconscious/asleep.

"Why did you knock that guy out? We were actually trying to pay before what you did." Brian asked, completely annoyed right now of course.

"Did you want that asshole to end up killing us?" Aizen answered since it was very obvious, "Besides, at least we're outta there. But all we have to do is get our asses out of this state, if you didn't know."

"Thank you, Aizen. At least you actually know our situation here." Stewie said sarcastically, although he was involved in this.

"Whatever, now what should we do now?"

"And I thought **you** were the evil one..." Lisa sighed 'somewhat' painfully.

"Well, what we should do is drive normally so we get outta here without no trouble." Stewie directed them. The plan was simple and couldn't possibly go wrong, seriously.

_Around the afternoon_, the crew were able to get out of Ohio without being stopped. Since they kinda committed a crime, they had to change the route so they would end back up in that state. But that was no longer their problem at this time, they were now in Indiana and the current route would send them into Illinois, Missouri, Oklahoma, Texas and New Mexico. Although that wasn't so necessary, it was somewhat relevant to mention it.

Sometime later, they managed to end up right outside of Indianapolis, basically passed through; as so they thought. However, they were yet they had no idea where they were. Lisa looked around from the mirrors and windows to see where they are now.

"Hey, where are we right now?" She asked either one of them.

"You're the one driving, smart ass. Why don't you tell us?" Aizen replied, who among them was tired. While she has had quite enough of him already, she elected not to reply to that. But Stewie looked around himself and actually answered her.

Brian looked around himself and he himself noticed where they were; so he answered, "From what it looks like, I'm guessing we're somewhere outside of, or close to Indianapolis. We still might be on our route but I'm very sure we aren't in that particular city."

"What?"

"Oh my god; Just keep driving and don't look suspicious."

"Yeah, okay."

She was still driving through Indiana without no trouble; however, they were suddenly followed by a patrol car. Most likely the police. Lisa had two options: Continue driving as if they aren't going for them, or stop like what someone would obviously do. Though Lisa wasn't like Aizen, so she stopped the car with no hesitation.

The police man walked over to the driver's side, Stewie needed to watch Aizen and Brian so they wouldn't do anything stupid. But the problem was that Aizen had somewhat of a problem with police, even if it's the littlest reason out there, that was basically it. Lisa was more patient than them which is why she was placed behind the wheel.

Anyways, the cop went over to her and told her, "License and registration, please?"

"Alright then..." She replied, willfully handing him her driver's license. In fact, she was one of the them that had a license. Though the officer took a view at her license and then said:

"Ah, you're from Rhode Island, are you?"

"Well technically, I'm from Japan, while two of them here are." She stated, "But what's the problem?"

"You were speeding and aside from that, your tail light was out."

"Oh really? Then okay. Just write the damn ticket so we can move on..."

He proceeded to write down the ticket, however Aizen shifted a little further towards Stewie's seat which caught Brian's attention in the process; he also noticed that his hand was strangely going down his pants until he saw something shiny. He couldn't tell if it was a gun, but he looked a bit closer to make sure; but before Brian could even see anything, Aizen let out a loud howl, pulled out a gun and shoots the officer.

At that moment, Lisa, Stewie and Brian were about as shocked as before, though the bullet only managed to strike his shoulder which was rather lucky, or unfortunate. This now made Lisa uncomfortable, while Stewie yelled:

"What the fuck, Aizen! What's your fucking problem!"

The police officer tried to get up and try to arrest him or them, but Lisa immediately slammed her foot on the gas brake and within moments, they quickly sped off and left the police officer wounded. But he went to get more backup in order to catch them, as he entered his car and went full speed to catch them.

Meanwhile, the quartet was also driving at full speed as they all wanted to snap Aizen in two for what he did. Especially Stewie, who has seen him do lots of crazy stuff; though this probably tops it by a long margin.

"Why the hell did you shoot the goddamn cop!" Lisa angrily asked, who was driving for dear life.

"I'm sorry! I wasn't thinking right." Aizen answered while looking to get away with this, but Stewie then said:

"Exactly! You **weren't** thinking!"

"Oh shut up, now keep driving."

While she technically did so, Lisa wanted to lose it while she hissed, "I should stop this car and throw your fucking ass out for what you fucking did!"

"Yeah she should." Stewie followed, "I've had to deal with your ass for too long, though THIS was too far!"

"Well sorry. At least they aren't behind us." Aizen noted, which in a moment of irony, they were a complete convoy of police cars after them; much to they're misfortune. Looking from the rear-view mirror, Lisa started driving as fast as it can and this situation only made them even more angry with Aizen.

With no less than ten minutes passed, they were on a full tank of gas from earlier and were using it in a high-speed chase. Neither of them chose to say anything to each other, since it wouldn't be pretty if they did. With the police getting closer and closer, it was sure it wasn't gonna end well. Obviously. They needed to think of something and quick, that was what they needed to do. What they had to do was get the police off their backs, however that is very much impossible since a entire army of cops are after them so someone had to find an idea quick.

"Okay, everyone. How the hell are we gonna get these pigs off our backs?" Stewie asked the other three.

"You're asking us? What the hell do you think we should do?" Brian answered, since he obviously had nothing.

"Why are you asking me for god's sake? I'm trying not to rip this idiot's head off for getting us into this shit."

While Stewie was just close to losing it, Lisa didn't want to hear anything from either of them. So she yelled out, "Will you two shut up! It's bad enough we're in lots of shit, I don't want to hear you guys fighting of all things."

The two would eventually stop talking, though that didn't end their current situation. That is until Stewie looked around and suddenly an idea sparked inside his head. So he quickly went and acted fast before he forgot.

"Guys, I think I know how to get them off us." He told the three, "Lisa, I want you to tilt to the left and charge straight at the edge of the road."

"What? But that would land us straight into the river." She protested but she looked at Stewie and realized that he was completely serious, so all she had to do was trust him. With that, Lisa rolled up all the windows and moved to the left side of the highway in order to gain some momentum so she could do it.

Aizen didn't know what the hell she was doing, given the fact that he wasn't paying attention. Brian on the other hand, didn't think that this idea would even work though Lisa then attempted Stewie's idea, going full speed at the rails and with a straight charge at them with a roadblock not too far, they went right through the edge, flying at least twenty feet far and up in the air and with the police completely shocked at their attempt.

Soon enough, the car would take a hard nose dive straight into the water and at the very last moment, Stewie pressed an unknown button right as they land deep into the river and within seconds, the entire car started sinking to the bottom. Aizen, Brian and Lisa were deeply frightened with the fact that they were deep underwater, Stewie wasn't so shocked at all.

"Oh fucking great! We're underwater and about to die. Damn it." Lisa exclaimed, thinking for everyone at the moment.

"Now hold on, Lisa. Just wait a moment, this plan is not over yet."

"Well, dumbass. How the hell do you expect us to get us outta here?" Aizen yelled.

"I don't think you're in a position to be telling me off, Aizen. Given the fact that it was you that got us in this position." Stewie pointed out as a matter of fact. He had already thought of this right before they did this so all he needed to do was have them wait. But after several minutes, he saw the windows were about to crack so he finally did something.

"Okay, I think the coast is clear. Time to get back on land." He said, pressing a hidden button in front of him which rocketed them straight up and back on surface. However, they were still in water though; which would explain the raft under the car.

They were lucky with the fact that they were off the hook, as all the police were gone. But there was one more issue left though. How were they gonna get back on land? A question that the three were wondering.

"So... How do we get outta here?" Brian wondered, just like them. Unlike them, Stewie had some sort of plan...

"Okay, I need you Aizen to search in the back for some swimming shit. Like paddles and all that." He ordered, and so Aizen reached in the back of the car and found several paddles and such. About moments later, Aizen and Lisa found themselves paddling the car the best way they could while Stewie and Brian sat in the front doing completely nothing. This went on for at least a good few hours when they just noticed that they've hardly moved at all, given the weight of the truck.

After much impatience and frustration, Lisa finally blurted out, "Alright, alright! Just what the hell are we doing?"

"Um...rowing a car?" Brian answered, either he was being sarcastic or that was his guess though Stewie explained good and clear; or rather the best way he can. That's when Aizen sided with her:

"Right. I thought rowing this thing would work; however it seems that we need to try an alternate method."

"What do you mean?" She replied just when Stewie activates a water jet installed under the truck/car and within seconds, they were speeding all the way to ground. After spending basically hours rowing a heavy vehicle, the other three wanted to lose their minds completely since he let her and Aizen waste their time for nothing.

"...What the fuck just happened right now?" Aizen asked all around...

"Well it seems that Stewie here basically let us waste our fucking time knowing full well that he can take us off land." Brian blatantly explained.

"I wasted **your** time? Just what the hell have you been doing anyways?" Stewie exclaimed and sounded a little angry, "Besides, the fact still remains that we are now on land and can finally continue our ride."

Even though they wanted to go crazy at the moment, they could all agree that it couldn't possibly get any worse for them. At all. None of them could possibly deny that they are finally on land and so they can finally continue riding. That is... if the car was still operational.

* * *

_**-Now mid afternoon-**_

Nothing could honestly compare to what these guys have been going through recently. And as in 'recently', that means this morning. So truthfully, it couldn't possibly get any worse so far. One thing that added to the quartet's stress was that they nearly shit themselves in fear after nearly being crushed by water pressure. And for a baby, a dog, a complete spaz and a bookworm *cough,cough* _pervert_*cough* to take this much hell in this such short of time, really says something.

With nearly an hour passed, the feelings for all four of them wasn't pleasant. However, they needed to kill some time while they were driving. But after the enduring hell that they've gone through, that was doubtful. Very very doubtful.

"So... Aizen...how are things right now?" Brian randomly asked, trying to make small talk.

"Well, as you already Stewie and Lisa hate me right now-"

"Damn straight." Lisa exclaimed.

"...But with nothing to do and with Stewie and the Soul Society watching my ass, I'm more comfortable learning to speak Spanish and so on."

"Why? Because of the curse words?" Stewie carelessly guessed.

"No. Because it's you always need to know Spanish, in case you're in a bad Mexican neighborhood."

"Oh yeah. Then okay, I guess that's needed for that situation."

"Exactly. That's why I have the book, 'How to survive in a Mexican neighborhood for Dummies'. It's very convenient."

"We wouldn't know anything about that." Brian replied, not really caring anymore.

"Hey, when you are in a room with nothing to do, you just improvise." He started explaining, "Like for instance, when you are bored or angry, do what Lisa does to my things. She does a really bad job though."

"Do you really think I'd leave tracks like that by accident?" Lisa exclaimed, 'indirectly' proving that she does it.

"... Come to think of it, you're very careful with shit like that." Aizen technically agreed; until he instantly noticed, "Oh god, I just agreed with you..."

"Well you should more often. Somebody needs to keep your ass in check. Not to mention that I basically have to clean up after your dumbass."

During Lisa's near anger breakdown (very close), Brian went and added to the conversation, "Yeah, come to think of it. Stewie and Lisa are the only ones that are cleaning up for your dumb shit. Hell, you're basically driving this woman into a mental hospital with all these antics."

"And what the hell do you do around here anyways? I thought that you of all people would be on my side."

"Technically, I'm not siding with you. Me for one is also sick of your bullshit, it's fucking annoying."

"Says the mutt who helped this jackass blow up the sink days ago..." Lisa growled back, basically since he wasn't the one to talk...

"Also says the bitch who always has a dick in her ass most of the damn time." Brian snapped back at her. This was getting outta hand and Stewie was about to lose his patience with all three of them as Aizen, Lisa and Brian kept taking shots at each other.

"Oh shut up, Lisa. Who was the dumbass bitch who suggested that we'd be superheroes?"

"**You're** the dumbass bitch who suggested that idea!"

A few more moments of them going off and on, Stewie finally snapped and yelled, "Damn it! Shut up! I've had it with this insanity!" Right as he yelled, the car suddenly broke down on them. And like that, all four of them just silenced in a simple instant. They wanted to lose their minds given the fact that they are not even half way in the country and now they are stranded.

"Fuck." Stewie simply exclaimed. No other words came out after that.

"We are not stranded. We are not stranded. We are not fucking stranded." Lisa repeated while she banged her head on the steering wheel.

"We are...?" Brian said, trying not to piss her off.

With Brian confused and Lisa completely annoyed, Aizen went and asked, "So what do we do now?"

A moment of silence swept around until Stewie answered, "Everyone. Get out." All of them would eventually walk out and wait for what Stewie had in store this time. They would look around the area for someone, but that was when Stewie crawled up on Brian's head and pointed out to a gas station nearby; which would be great timing for them.

_**-Moments later...-**_

The pissed off quartet would walk over to the gas station where they would find a mechanic, very very lucky for them right now. As they were only a few yards from their car, it wouldn't be too much of a hassle to get back there without nothing stolen. They approached the man and Aizen asked him:

"Hello, kind sir. We are heading to Arizona until our car broke down on us. Mainly because a woman was behind the wheel..."

Stewie and Brian quickly yelled at him, "Aizen!"

"Alright, alright. Forget what I said. Anyways, would you kindly help us on our situation?"

He looked at the three, and simply asked, "What's under the hood?"

Within no time, he popped the hood and took a look at the inside. It took him a while to see what was going on and while he looked at what's wrong, the crew either stood around and waited or tried to find something to do at least. After moving around some things within the car, he shut the hood and went over to them:

"Well, it seems there's something jammed inside there. Not to mention that the battery is burnt out. Was the battery underwater by any chance?"

They looked at each other in complete irony; given the complete ordeal they've dealt with before this happened. However, they would all shake their heads no to avoid telling him about what happened.

"Well... I can fix this however. But it will cost at least $2100."

After a few seconds later, they would huddle up and asking each other...

"Alright, since Stewie has the most among us. He should pay for the damages." Aizen proposed.

"What? You should pay the guy. You're the one who got us into this."

"Hey hey hey! What about Lisa? She should have more than enough..." Brian inquired.

"Yeah that would be a fine idea, but I'm broke. Thanks to this asshole."

"...And my accounts are locked right now." Stewie also added.

"Damn it."

While they tried to get someone to pay him to fix the car, the man proposed, "Well, if you're short on cash, then there's a business just a couple miles from here. You'll earn enough money in no time..." They were somehow intrigued, so Aizen asked:

"What type of business?"

_Within moments_, they found themselves in a strip club and much to their misfortune, they watch as Aizen dances on stage for money. Stewie thought that he had seen enough of him remotely naked, but that would seen to be an exaggeration and just watching him stripping repulsed not only Stewie but Brian as well. The only one that either was enjoying this or didn't care was Lisa, she was neutral about it and she of course was lucky that it wasn't her.

Little did they actually know, Aizen was actually enjoying himself; although seeing him stripping from their view was straight out gross. So to kill time, they had some type of conversation:

"You know, after all the shit we've gone through in the past couple days. I'm not so sure if helping your friend is worth stripping or getting arrested." Brian simply stated.

"I agree with Brian." Lisa also said, since she's dealt with too much recently, "Is this really worth it or are we just gonna regret it?"

Stewie understood what they were talking about, so he in fact answered, "Guys, we ate an assortment of horse and bull testicles. That doesn't even relate to what we're going through right now."

"True. Especially for me since I could hardly eat something so disgusting."

"Coming from the same guy who eats his own shit." Stewie and Lisa exclaimed.

"Hey, you'd be disgusted too if you were in my shoes."

"I would have finished more quicker than you." Lisa replied, dating back to that 'incident'. Though Stewie would stepped in and said:

"Well to be fair, we've done some odd shit in the past few weeks. Or rather since I became a shinigami."

Looking back on the past, lots of wild things has occurred. Either out of irony, complete coincidence or more rather, predictable. Many things, like Aizen sending all ten of the Espada to Stewie's house, Lisa hitting Brian and eventually, Aizen in the head or somewhere else with a brick. Or the whole 'endurance' tournament, the entire vampire situation Stewie and Aizen dealt with and lastly, the superhero bit they ended up doing. All of these cases of course, have all happened when Stewie first came into the Soul Society and met Aizen and Lisa. It didn't take a genius to notice this stuff and as far as Stewie was concerned, he wouldn't care less at all.

"You know, although all of us has gone through some edgy hell in the past months, it's nice to have friends like you guys. Especially Aizen; despite him being the constant reason for all of this." Stewie told them.

"Yeah. I can agree with you there," Lisa responded, "Except for the part about Aizen, still hate him."

"Who doesn't?" Brian exclaimed.

"Well, let's just find a way to get to Arizona in time and with no further accidents. Alright?"

"Alright." Brian and Lisa replied. As they had gotten up, Lisa yelled towards Aizen, "Hey, Prince Mullet! Grab the cash and let's go!"

"Um, okay...?" He answered, grabbing as many bills as he can and rushed off the stage. However, right before they could leave, the owner showed up angry as hell. He (or she, due to his appearance) was not about to lose another dancer like this again.

"Hey, just what the hell are y'all doing?" The owner yelled out.

"Well, we are taking our dear friend here and getting outta here, thank you." Stewie explained as good as possible. That is, until the owner pulled out a rifle and pointed at them.

"Oh no you're not. Every time, I get a new dancer, only to see that they're only here to earn some quick cash because they're stranded. I'm not gonna let that happen for a 98th time!"

They looked around at each other because of the irony. While Brian whispered, "Damn, what a weird way to sum up a similar situation..."

"I know." Stewie agreed, "Now we don't wanna get into any trouble so-"

His sentence was cut off as the owner shot at them, the worse thing was that he/she? was using bullets that can blow half your body off. In complete fear and danger, Stewie yelled:

"Oh dear god, that drag looking motherfucker is gonna kill us! Run!"

Easily, they ran like holy hell and straight out of the building. The owner did not give up easily as the person would rush outta the building as well and continue shooting at them. This was simply insane but lucky for them, the mechanic had fixed the car and within no time, the immediately got into the car and prepared to drive off. But the mechanic wasn't gonna let them drive off without pay as he banged on the driver window, requesting his money.

Stewie looked in the mirror and saw the strip club owner ready to shoot them all, prompting Stewie to yell, "We gotta split. And now."

As Lisa prepared to floor it, Aizen opened the window on the roof and threw him the money, exactly as Lisa stated driving at full speed. They also manage to avoid the bullet, unfortunately blowing half of the mechanic apart.

"Oh shit!" Brian yelled out in shock. This was far beyond anything they've seen before; well actually the vampire thing might be equal to this but whatever.

* * *

_**-The next morning-**_

After seeing a man get killed when he fixed their car, had to strip for money, shot a police officer and knocked out a hotel manager threatening to kill them. They seriously wanted to just head out to the nearest airport and fly to Arizona instead. There was not a single thing that either of them could say to do otherwise. Having to paddle a automobile that sunk underwater, and everything else in between wasn't bad enough, it was very best for Stewie and the gang if they again, flew to Arizona.

"Jesus, I just wanna get there and get it over with. That way, we can go home." Lisa sighed.

"I know." Stewie replied, "Being chased by cops wasn't already bad enough, we had to watch this tool strip for cash."

"I don't know. I kinda liked that job, the guys were friendly. The women were hot and such. Not to mention that the pay was incredible."

"We don't care a single bit, Aizen." Stewie told him in a tired and somewhat irritated tone.

"Well sorry. I thought I'd like to share that info with you guys."

"Yeah, you're welcome to do so. But now, just shut up." Brian also told him, "You know, even though this was a train wreck of a road trip, it was somewhat fun. We got to see different places, we gotten through some wild adventures. It was fun."

"I didn't like it at all." Lisa said in a blunt tone.

"Me neither." Aizen added.

"Neither did I. But when we get to the airport and arrive in Arizona, it'll all work out." Stewie added as well, but then they would get a phone call. He would place it on speaker and answer, "Hello?"

"_Hey, guys..." _Stewie's older friend answered back.

"What's up?"

"_Oh nothing. I wanted to call you guys because I have to tell you this."_

"What would that be?" Brian asked.

"_I tried to tell you yesterday. But turns out that a find of mine hired a series of movers that could bring in my stuff and set it how I want it. So you guys don't have to come here..."_ She laughed. However, that was not a joke to the quartet. The entire car became silent as Lisa slowly hit the brake. At that point, they wanted to completely snap at this moment.

"What?" Stewie said in a dark, empty tone.

"_Yeah. Are you saying that you guys are already there?"_

"...We haven't even gotten outta Indianapolis!"

"_Well, it's great that you guys took your time to drive down to help me but I found someone else."_

They absolutely wanted to lose their minds after all that had happened, when Brian snapped, "What the fuck do you mean you found help? Do you know how hell we went through and we're not even half way across the country!"

"_Well sorry for you guys, but I don't need any further assistance."_

"WHAT!" They all screamed, as Lisa followed up, "Do you know how much we went through just to be where we are? And you tell us this!"

"Goddamn it. I worked in a strip club because of you..."

"_Um... I gotta go. Bye." _She said and hung up. They seriously wanted to lose it after this madness, and all they could do was fly home. But much to their misfortune, they are quickly surrounded by police officers, SWAT team and helicopters. Stewie, Aizen, Lisa and Brian completely lost every emotion in their body as they saw countless cops surround them.

Just before they are arrested, Stewie yelled, "Son of a bitch!"

* * *

_**-Chapter Ten Omake-**_

_Stewie: "Hi, I'm Stewie Griffin."_

_Aizen: "And I'm Sousuke Aizen."_

_Stewie: "Now what you saw there was what would happen if a road trip went wrong..."_

_Aizen: "That's right. We would like to take the time to say that we do not condone anyone performing the events in this chapter."_

_Stewie: "Yes. But on a different note. We are currently celebrating the story's one year anniversary with our tenth chapter you just read._

_Aizen: "And we'd like to thank you all for the great support. And we would like to say thank you for joining us for this event._

_Stewie: "So before we go. Make sure you review, favorite and alert this story. Tell your friends; probably force them to read it."_

_Aizen: "And tell them if they don't, then Gin will give them a special surprise when you sleep..."_

_Stewie: "Good night, everyone." * him and Aizen starts waving at the camera*_

* * *

**End of Chapter Ten**

A/N: If anyone is reading, then I'd like to thank TehKablam98 for the ideas of his in the last two chapters. So also thank him...


	11. Not This Again!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Family Guy. It is the property of their respective owners and stuff.

**Hey, y'all. Sorry for the long hiatus of this story, that's been happening a lot recently. Anyways, I really procrastinated with these chapters but I'm gonna at least try and perhaps I could at least go back on a normal schedule. I actually finished this on Friday and I expected to finish the next chapter of Forbidden Actions at the same time as this... nowhere near finished. Any who, after this chapter there will be a three chapter arc I intend to do. Enjoy this for the time being.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Not This Again!**

Words can really express the wild things that these four have dealt with. A month after being arrested, clearing up the whole thing and so on, they needed some much important relaxation after the crazy ass stuff that's happened. But in the case, Stewie had a job to do whenever he liked it or not and so did Brian; meanwhile Aizen and Lisa had all the time in the world. It sucks, it really does. Taking a look back on all this, it's actually really funny or just flat out exhausting. Overall, this has been a disaster.

But instead of looking at the past, the present was right in front of you regardless. And speaking of which, in the Soul Society, Stewie and Brian were doing the usual while the other two were back home plain and simple. Frankly, Stewie placed Lisa in charge of Aizen; mainly because he didn't trust him in any certain way. Hard to believe that a man who practically cause anarchy in the Soul Society is now looked over by a child (that of which, being Stewie).

Couldn't blame either one of them to be fair. If you were in his position, you'd lose your mind too. But back to the matter at hand: Stewie was taking a nap while he waited for Brian to come back with the dreaded paperwork they had to do. As if it didn't already suck right now but hey, at least Aizen wasn't there. He slept peacefully and comfortably on the nearby couch, until Brian arrived with lots of papers in his arms. He had opened the door with his foot and placed the papers on the table.

Brian woke him up by shaking him awake as he yelled, "Stewie, wake up!"

Like that, Stewie quickly woke up wondering what the hell is going on. But he would respond, "Whoa, what? Brian, what you want?"

"I'm back with the damn paperwork." He replied.

As the word 'paperwork' escaped his mouth, Stewie was easily annoyed when he said, "God, I don't understand why we keep having to do this. Sometimes it's the same crap, or something entirely different."

"But hey, let's just get it over with. And come on, there's gonna be more anyways so this is nothing."

"Well alright. Wait, what?"

"To be honest, there's bound to be more where this came from eventually What's the point of complaining?" Brian explained as clear as he could.

"I hope you're right." Stewie sighed, "Ever since I became a captain or whatever, it's been a pain in the ass."

Evidently, he was right about that. It's gotta be a headache to deal with what they are dealing with. In fact, Brian would nod and agree, "I hear ya. But hey, it could be worse you know?"

"Don't say that, please. I really don't want things to get worse. I really don't want something like that." He groaned in displease.

"Yeah. I guess you're right about that. I wonder if things would be better if we neither of us became a shinigami."

"Believe me, Brian. It's would be a lot worse than this. So let's just finish this and go home." He told him, while they had already started doing it. Obviously, they did hate doing this but they knew that being a captain or lieutenant would result in certain responsibility; which means this was most expected. At least they aren't fighting right now.

While they went through papers one by one, Brian asked in curiosity, "Hey, I wonder what Aizen and Lisa are doing right now?"

"Good question. But who cares."

* * *

_**-Meanwhile-**_

While Aizen was somewhere doing something, Lisa was sitting on the couch looking at one of her 'books'; although she was supposed to keep an eye on him, she didn't care less about what he was doing as long as it wasn't illegal. And even though she didn't want to 'babysit' an asshole like Aizen, she believed it was best if she didn't give a damn and simply keep him in close range. This however, wasn't the case.

But as she had her needed peace and quiet, here comes Aizen trying to bother her for something again. You thought he would get the message that she would throw him off a bridge if she wanted too or if she could for that. Anyways, he would jump out of nowhere and yell:

"Hah! I caught you. Busted!"

Knowing he was being an idiot, Lisa would respond, "Busted for what?"

"What do you think? Caught you with a pornographic magazine and in broad daylight too."

She simply sighed by his idiocy, hard to believe he nearly took over the world. Thought she would say, "Aizen, if you knew me better then you'd know I always read porno mags or anything erotic. So stop trolling and fuck off."

"Alright then." He said plain and simple. However, he would stay put rather than leave. Aizen stayed there long enough for Lisa to notice that he's still there.

"Unless you want something, go away." Lisa told him as simple as she could.

"Ah. I forgot why I came here." He said as a matter of fact, "Now Lisa, how long have we known each other."

"A very long time. And things never changed."

"Of course. Now if it wouldn't be a bother, may I ask you something?"

"Considering the fact you won't leave, what is it?"

He stayed silent for a while, that until he finally said, "I was thinking on Saturday night, we could explore the Human world's customs. The way they spend a weekend evening with things like dinner, getting drunk off our asses and such. You know, together?"

This managed to get her attention, so she placed her magazine on the table, turned to Aizen and replied, "Where are you going at?"

"Well, perhaps we could spend an evening with just the two of us?"

'You mean like a date?" She inquired, trying to piece together his request.

"Of course. What do you say?"

Lisa stared at him with a blank expression, until she finally said, "Absolutely not."

And like that, Aizen went all WTF, looking for an answer, "What? Why not? Who wouldn't want a date with yours truly?"

"I would." She replied when she later explained, "And besides, why not? It's because for one: I hate you. Two: I hate every bone in your body and anything that reminds me of you. And lastly, you smell like dick and Dr. Pepper."

"Well that's not very nice, now is it?"

"Didn't intend it to be. Now go away."

Obviously, Lisa wanted his ass gone but oh no, Aizen had no intention of leaving. So instead of simply walking away, he asked her again, "Is there a chance you might change your mind?"

"Let me put it in a way you'll understand." Lisa told him, her face right in front of his, "Even if I was left in a ditch in the trenches of Peru and doped up on heroin, I still wouldn't go on a date with you. Not now, not then, not ever. Feel me?"

After a swift moment of silence, Aizen would eventually say, "You still wanna go out?"

Lisa would glare at him with a empty expression on her face, until she said bluntly, "Go away and if you could, go fuck yourself."

"Whatever. Come back when you change your mind."

Later that day, Lisa had to do some things around the house before Stewie got back. Strange since she's the last person you would ever see lift a finger. But there's been more stranger perhaps; but while Stewie and Brian were on their way back, it's Aizen again to harass her.

Popping out of a laundry basket, Aizen asked, "You wanna go out?"

"No." She said angrily, throwing clothes on him, slamming the basket on his head and left.

But it didn't stop right there of course, while Lisa was in the kitchen looking for something, Aizen came back once again and asked once more, "Are you sure you don't wanna go out?"

"Yes. I'm sure, now fuck off!" She replied again, walking away like last time.

As the day went by, Aizen continue to harass Lisa about if she wanted to go on a date with him, it always started with "You wanna go out?" and ended with either a "No.", "Leave me alone!" or most popularly, "I'll beat the fuck out of you!". Yep, she was angry as hell while he continued to find ways to nag her all day everywhere she went, he always managed to pop up asking the same damn question; this was funny because Aizen knew some way to get her to say yes. And only Stewie at this point could get him to shut the fuck up.

And now we move back into the kitchen while Stewie and Brian were about to enter the house, Lisa was in the kitchen once again when Aizen came back again for the same shit. She groaned (or likely growled) at his very presence.

"What do you want now?"

"Do you wanna go out tonight?" Aizen asked again but then said, "If you say yes, I'll make it worth your while."

She took a look breath before she whispered, "Come here, I'll give you your answer."

"Alright then..."

_Meanwhile_, Stewie and Brian came back to the house through the portal between the Human World and the Soul Society, wanting to get some much important rest after a couple other divisions dumped more paperwork on them. Yeah of course the Soul Society was pretty cruel to them, but they weren't the only ones though. Any who, while Stewie and Brian went upstairs they heard something.

"Hey Stewie, do you hear something?" Brian asked him, "It sounds like Lisa yelling and thumping."

While it was a hunch, Stewie heard it too. Which led him to reply, "Sounds likes it's coming from the kitchen. Let's check it out."

They walked over into the kitchen to see what the noise is, that is when they find Lisa slamming Aizen's head in the oven door. That while she yelled:

"LEAVE. ME. ALONE." That was until Stewie and Brian had to intervene and stop her. Brian managed to get a hold of her, while Stewie pulled him out of the oven. She started breathing heavily in anger relief while Stewie tried to knock Aizen back into conciseness.

A while later, Stewie finally said, "Damn it. Just what I need, this guy unconscious. Brian, you watch Lisa. I'll try to take care of this moron." He would get under him and carry him on his little back, while Brian tried to calm down Lisa before she did something else.

"What the hell were you doing?" Brian yelled.

"I was bashing his head in, what else?" She said simply.

"Damn it, Lisa. I know he pisses you off, he does the same for me and Stewie but that was no reason to try to damage his head even more. I mean he fucked up already but that's no reason to make it worse. Now, simply calm down and relax; perhaps Stewie will look the other way about this."

"Sorry, Brian. It's because he wouldn't leave me the hell alone about something." She told him, relaxing at the moment, "If you had to spend a whole day with him nagging you, you might kick his ass too."

"Yeah, I would too."

_Later that day_, Aizen found himself in his room with bandages on his head. The last thing he could remember was him provoking Lisa while she tried to kill him, but he's somehow managed to survive many other things and those things were Stewie kicking his ass for being an idiot. But speaking of Stewie, he was in the room as he regained conciseness.

"Well, it seems you're awake." He said as a matter of fact.

He was quite dazed at the moment, but he did ask, "What happened earlier?"

"If I could comprehend, I'm pretty sure Lisa was smashing your head into oblivion. And I mean your 'head' head. Not your dick."

He chuckled for a moment, until he would ask, "Hey, why did you keep me from dying?"

"Well, we are friends are we. And besides, I'm practically stuck with you so might as well."

"Hmm, I'm glad you believe so." Aizen followed up. He yawned for a second and said, "Well, since I have a concussion, I'll be up all night. Wanna watch movies tonight?"

"Actually, I healed you entirely so there's no fear of a concussion." He explained briefly, "You'll be fine for the meantime, just don't hit your head on anything between now and several hours from now. But if you want too, I got nothing else to do. So might as well."

"Splendid. I got so much planned right now. First we'll..."

Before he could say anything else, Stewie interrupted him by telling him, "Listen, faggot. I only agreed to watch movies. Anything besides that, I'm not interested."

"Okay fine. I was only asking."

After that, Stewie left plain and simple. It did give Aizen some time to think for a while as his mindset is still asking out Lisa, knowing that she had bashed his head repeatedly for constantly bugging her. In spite of that, it was only best if he got his mind together and tried again tomorrow. But for the meantime, let's watch movies with Stewie and Aizen.

* * *

_**-The next day-**_

With Stewie and Brian gone again, Aizen came back to Lisa about the same thing. You thought he learned his lesson after she had to kick his ass the last time, but this time he was determined that he could actually get his right answer from her. Anyways, enough Aizen was enough in her certain case but if Stewie can deal with him for as long as he has, so can her. Moving on...

He walked up to Lisa and immediately asked, "Do you still wanna go out?"

She didn't know if she should throw her book on the table or at his face, but she instead said, "Like I said before, no. Go away."

"Oh come on, why not give me a chance?"

"I'll give people chances, unless that person happens to be you."

"Well you're quite the bitch this week..."

That's right about when she began glaring at him; following up with, "Didn't you learn your lesson from the last time? Now fuck off or else I'll finish what I started."

"Okay. Do you wanna go out? Do you wanna go out? Do you wanna go out?" Aizen repeated continuously. He knew that he was pushing her buttons while this went on for a quite a while, very much to Lisa's distress; she tried so hard not to lose her damn mind and he planned this without thought. Meanwhile, her anger started bawling up so much she was about to attempt murder once again.

Trying so hard not to lose it or cave in, she yelled, "Leave me alone!"

After a second of silence, Aizen said once again, "Do you wanna go out?"

That's when she finally had enough of this. Lisa slammed her hands on the table and finally replied, "Alright, alright. I'll go on a date with you, just shut the fuck up."

Like that, he finally got his answer. So he smiled and said, "That's all I wanted to hear. Get ready by 7 o'clock tonight, I'll be at the door ready for you."

"Alright then." Lisa sighed right as Aizen heads upstairs to prepare himself, but then she noticed something, "Did I just agree to go on a date with Aizen?"

Right after she said that, Stewie and Brian returned after being gone for a while. Stewie left and went upstairs while Brian noticed the confused expression on Lisa's face. So he got onto the couch and tried to get an answer from her, in which he asked:

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

"I think I just agreed to go on a date with Aizen tonight." She said in a empty tone.

"Oh okay then." Brian replied, turning away until he noticed what she said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What? The hell do you mean you're going on a date with Aizen?"

"He didn't stop bugging me so I said yes. Worst thing is I think I'm actually looking forward to it."

Meanwhile, while upstairs. Stewie went to pick something up from his room. But he would catch sight at the worst thing imaginable...for Stewie however; what he saw was Aizen walking in the hallway with only a towel and slippers on. Stewie's face was frozen on either shock or disgust though Aizen couldn't really understand what was going on with him but he would in fact say:

"Hey, Stewie."

Eventually, he broke his long silence and yelled, "What the hell? Why are you naked and more importantly, why are you walking around here without anything?"

"I got a towel, don't I?"

"You're still nude. That's the problem!"

He looked down at himself and laughed, "Oh. I apologize for that. I'm getting ready for tonight."

"Oh really? Where the hell are you going? You on trial or something?"

He laughed at his sarcasm and told him, "Oh no. That got cleared up; but if you wanna know I have a date tonight."

"Aizen, what woman in their right mind would even consider going out with you of all people?" He exclaimed, whist taking a drink of coffee.

"Well, the very lucky lady is none other than Lisa."

In a fit of disbelief, Stewie spit out his coffee (or whatever he was drinking) and said, "Lisa? As in Lisa Yadomaru? She actually agreed to go on a date...with you!"

"Surprising, isn't it?" Aizen smirked; he was really enjoying this to say the least.

"Yeah. But one thing: Was she on drugs or not paying attention or something?"

"She was paying attention and she wasn't on drugs. I guess I was very lucky."

Honestly, Stewie couldn't care less at the moment. He could have just asked Lisa about why she agreed to, but it appeared to be none of his business. He said nothing else at this point and walked away out any question. Still, it would be glad for him to not have Aizen around; at least not for the rest of the night. Like it or not, he was glad about this. And meanwhile, Aizen prepared himself for his outing with her; something that Lisa wished she could get out of.

* * *

_**Now, moving on**_: It was right about seven o'clock and while Aizen was already prepared, he was waiting for Lisa to arrive downstairs. He was at the door for a while waiting while Stewie was watching television; he was getting impatience and felt as though she somehow managed to bail but he wasn't really holding his breath on that. Anyways, it wasn't possible that she was gonna bail on him since he wouldn't really leave her alone either way.

Still, Stewie was getting tired of him constantly walking around the door until he got up and told him, "Aizen, calm down. You know how women when they are putting themselves together. My guess she'll be out no sooner than an hour."

"Was that a joke or you're estimating how long she'll be?"

"Eh... It was a little this and that. Or somethin'."

Eventually, after what seemed to be hours of waiting, Lisa comes down looking as dazzling as she's even been before. She was not quite happy as she walked down the steps, more importantly, she looked as though she wanted to kick someone's ass at the moment. Just as she finally came down the stairs, Aizen smirked:

"Well, are you ready for me to dazzle you?"

"Shut the fuck up and let's go."

As he took her hand and walked out the door, Stewie looked as though he didn't care less about them. But after they left, Brian ran downstairs looking around. His dog instincts were clearly kicking in, which featured a lot of traits held by a dog. He eventually calmed down and walked towards Stewie, but rather than sitting down, he needed to ask him something...

"Hey, did Aizen and Lisa just leave?" He asked him.

Not attempting to look at him, Stewie replied, "Yeah, they left some time ago. Why?"

"Well aren't you worried?"

"Worried about what?" He inquired, "It's just a date. Relax."

Brian was about to say something, but was slightly blindsided by Stewie's knowledge of the date, "Wait? You know about it? Well why didn't you stop them?"

"What's the big damn deal?"

"Well Stewie," He began to explain, in a pretty paranoid way, "If they start dating, then we'll never be able to split them apart. They'll start having sex, you'll lose your assistance and hell, they might have kids too. It's a very dark scenario. And that's just the beginning, man."

"Brian, you know how stupid that sounds? Besides, I'm not sure if they could even have kids. Even if they could, Lisa wouldn't want any."

"Still, I think we should follow them to see what happens."

Unaware of the last time they did that, Stewie took the time to remind him, "Brian, remember the last time we did something like this? Wasn't really a pain in the ass, but either way it sucked."

"Still, I think we should follow them to be safe."

As much as Stewie didn't want too, he sighed with much distress, got up and told him, "Okay, let's go."

_**-Later that night-**_

With Stewie and Brian on their track (unaware of it), Aizen took Lisa out to a night club/restaurant in Providence, about miles away from where they live. Lisa hated the position she was in and as much as she did hate this situation, she tried to keep her cool in public. As for Aizen, he was glad he had the chance to impress her at the very least. He smiled at her; she frowned at him. That, judging on their face expressions, explained their relationship clearly. When they got to their table, sat down, he tried to start a conversation with the very annoyed young woman:

"It's been ages since we've spent time together." Aizen stated, "Do you recall when we were both lieutenants? And such?"

Looking away from him, she answered, "Yeah. We used to spend time reading books together, all the things we read."

"I knew you'd recall. You know, I'm glad you and I can be together in a place like this."

"Well, it's either this or you'd never leave me alone. But I guess how that turned out, huh?"

While they were talking and such, Stewie and Brian somehow managed to get inside; Brian was fixated on trying to stop his prediction of what may happen next. Stewie couldn't care less about this but because of the fact that Brian practically dragged him along, his objective was to do as less as possible. Likewise, the two had disguises; which may have also convinced Stewie to come along. It was hard to describe them to be honest since they were so strange the human mind couldn't imagine.

Any who, for a good half hour, all Aizen and Lisa did was talk; at least Aizen was talking. She didn't care at all about what he was saying, which was why she was barely paying attention. The stuff in between was less intriguing, since the two stayed silent for some time. Lisa wanted no sort of conversation with him which was why she stuffed her face without making a mess in order not to talk to him. An hour later, they paid the bill and got the fuck up outta there. Stewie and Brian were now on the chase.

Walking through downtown, Aizen noticed how silent she was so he assumed that she wasn't having a good time as he planned. Worried, he asked her, "Hey. You've been pretty quiet recently. Is there a problem? Is this not going well for you right now? If you could, then tell me."

"I'm not all that interested in this so-called date."

"Hmm?" He wondered, looking around for something. Until it hit him, "Hey, why not we try that?" He pointed up in the air to what he was talking about, which Lisa looked up and saw it was only a zip line. She looked at him as if he was an idiot. So she said, "What's wrong with you? We can't ride that!"

"Come on, it's fun. And hurry up, they're gonna stop soon."

"Alright, alright." Lisa said, with Aizen dragging her to the zip line before it closed. The strange decision to do this confused Stewie and Brian, who where looking at each other wondering where they were going, so they had to follow them this time.

"Where the hell are they going?" Brian wondered while they followed the two. Stewie didn't give an answer instead he continued to follow Brian; he honestly didn't want to be in this position so much, he wanted to be at home right about now. But oh well then.

Meanwhile, they managed to get in line for the zip line *hah* and the surprising thing was that nobody else besides Aizen and Lisa in line at all. They weren't necessary closed, nobody wanted to ride something like that at this time of night. Though that wasn't much of a concern for either of them.

"Hey, how much is for a couple's run down this thing." Aizen asked the man in the booth. But he would inform them of something...

"You do know it's practically night time. Right?"

"I'm aware of that. We'd like to see what it's like when you ride these things at night."

"... Alright whatever."

Aizen paid his and Lisa's way into riding, just as Brian and Stewie managed to get there. It took them quite a bit of time to realize what they were doing but when they noticed what they were practically doing, the two both know that this wasn't gonna end very well. So what they had to do was try to stop them as soon as they could, without blowing their covers.

Running towards the booth or something, Brian hesitated, "Did two people come here just a moment ago?"

"Yes. But sorry, we don't allow small children on this thing."

"I am not a child. I'm just a very, very...very short midget." Stewie explained, using his midget excuse.

"Well they just got on so you gotta wait their turn."

Speaking of which, the two were being strapped in good and tight so they didn't fall. Aizen couldn't wait to do this, telling her earlier that he's done this before; as for her, she's never done something like this ever and was having much types of second thoughts about it. Typically common for most people who've never tried it, _perhaps it was time to try new things_, she thought.

"You may wanna remove your glasses. They might fall off." He told her, which prompted her to take them off and have one of the employees set them aside.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked him.

"Very sure. Now just hold on and I'll be over with. Just have fun." Aizen replied, trying to calm her down...then he told her, "Oh and Lisa, there's one thing I didn't tell you. I've never actually went zip lining before." Her eyes widen just after he told her, but before she could say anything...they were already off. Lisa felt a bit of discomfort at the moment, but at some point she was actually enjoying it. So much, it seemed it was the first time she's actually had this much fun.

As for Brian, he quickly got past and quickly tried to grab a hold on one of them in order to catch up on them. And like that, he was off as well and all Stewie could do was watch as Brian was making an ass of himself by doing something like this.

"Does your furry friend always do dumb shit like this?"

"Sometimes. But when he does, it's a damn shame." Stewie answered, watching it all unfold. While as Aizen and Lisa were having lots of fun riding, Brian tried to get closer to them; but there was something up. He didn't notice the face that his grip on the handles was slipping. They got this strange about someone following them again, but this time Lisa turned her head over...only to see that it was Brian. Just by knowing that he was here, she wondered if Stewie was here as well.

She and Brian exchanged eye contact for a brief moment which resulted in Brian not paying attention and eventually lost his grip. This wouldn't be a problem if only he was strapped in like they were so within moments, he started falling towers to the ground but much to his misfortune, he instead fell straight into a outside bar and grill; ultimately bursting into flames. Stewie could only watch as he practically started becoming dinner himself in that inferno. That made him glad that he wasn't stupid enough to attempt something like that.

* * *

_**-Later...-**_

As firefighters worked to put out the fire and prevented it from spreading, they did manage to retrieve Brian who was surprisingly still alive. After being bandaged up for what seemed like an hour or so, all Stewie could do was look at him in disappointment. But on the bright side of it, he did have this to say...

"Oh Brian... I always knew you were an idiot but," He said, then started laughing, "That was pretty damn funny. I thought you'd fall face first into the pavement, but this was _**much**_ funnier."

"Shut up. As if things were bad enough already, just wait until Aizen and Lisa find us..."

"Too late, guys." Aizen said, practically showing himself and Lisa to Stewie and a crispy Brian, "I should've expected this you, dog. But I guess you can't help yourself, now can you?"

It began clear that Aizen was bating him, which was why Stewie stepped in and said, "Stop it, faggot. He's already burnt to a crisp, what else do you want?"

"I guess you're right. It is very amusing to see him like this."

"Alright, guys. What do we do now?" Lisa asked them. They thought about it but given what happened, they'd rather get the hell outta here.

_Now, back at the house..._

It was a long, long day for everybody. Luckily for Brian, his fall turned fire was ruled accidental. Stewie simply wanted to go to bed after the complete hell he put him through but thinking about it, it could've been worse if it was Aizen. Speaking of which, it turned out he actually had more of a brain in this whole situation; although he's still annoying, he was tolerable enough to be on Stewie's good side for once. And finally, you can't really say what Lisa is thinking right now but given how Aizen treated her this evening, you'd bet it was something positive.

They all got inside, with Stewie carrying Brian to bed and most likely watch him and Aizen and Lisa doing their own things separately. While carrying Brian up the stairs, Stewie sighed, "Next time, remind me to talk you out of things like this. I am not in a position for that again."

"Okay..." He replied, as best as he could at least. Walking up the stairs the best he could, Stewie took a moment to tell the other two:

"Good night, guys. I know I won't have one."

With them gone, Lisa walked up the stairs and looked to go to bed too. She noticed Aizen sitting on the edge of the couch, which made her ask, "Hey, you coming up anytime soon?"

"I'm just gonna listen to some jazz music, smoke a cigar, drink some whiskey. Then I might go to bed." He told her, in which she nodded. But he had to say this, "Lisa, what are you thoughts on this whole night? And more importantly, how do you handle being a part of this, day in and day out?"

She looked around, looked down or anywhere, until giving him an answer, "It's kinda hard to comprehend. I just do my best to deal with this each day but yet, I keep my composure through all the shit all of us get into. It's all about keeping your sanity through it all."

"Ah. Well I'm glad you're able to tolerate my ass for this long. Good night, Lisa."

"Yeah, good night." She said, in a soft tone. Probably the first time she's ever spoke softly to him, "Oh yeah. I had a really good time tonight, perhaps the best I can remember. Thank you."

"You're welcome." Aizen replied, as the two exchanged smiles for likely the first time ever. Lisa walked up to her room, while he sat down and relaxed by lighting up a cigar and can only reminisce of tonight and the other good days he's had. If you called dangerous antics 'good days', then go figure.

_Meanwhile in the Soul Society_, there was someone above on a hill. He had a evil smile on his face, he looked as though he was planning something. But there was something odd about this one; he wasn't a man but rather a boy who was literally Stewie's height. But the most noticeable thing about him was, he had the same head shape as Stewie. It was obviously not Stewie, but the resemblance was uncanny. Looking above all the building and so on he proclaimed this:

"Get ready, Stewie Griffin. The time is coming and you won't even know it. The time...for total world domination."

* * *

**Chapter Eleven Omake (Let's call them bonuses or something)**

_Brian: "Hey, why aren't we in these anymore? Are we not important?"_

_Lisa: "I don't really care. I mean, what kinda thing can we do?"_

_Brian: "We could do a chronicle on a bake sale or something."_

_Lisa: *silent* "Brian, you are a fucking moron. Who would be interested in the chronicles of a bake sale?"_

_Brian: "Well sorry. I was only trying to pitch a perfect idea."_

_Lisa: "Well if you think it out, tell someone. If it's some idiotic, keep your fucking mouth shut."_

_Stewie: *enters the room* "What the deuce are you both doing?"_

_Brian: "Wow, haven't heard that phrase in a long time."_

_Lisa: "Just shut up. I'm leaving."_

_Stewie: "Same here."_

* * *

**End of Chapter Eleven**


	12. It's Haunted! (Part One)

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or Family Guy. It is the property of their respective owners and stuff.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: It's Haunted! (Part 1 of 2)**

_**Stewie**_- _"Before we continue with this chapter. We would like to say that sort of mislead you on what the next chapter will be about. It's because we released a new game and it kinda ruined it for us. So instead we are..."_

_(He is interrupted by Aizen and Brian, who wanted to see what was going on.)_

_**Aizen**__ - "Hi what are doing, Stewie my boy."_

_**Stewie**__ - "I told you before. Don't call me that."_

**_Brian _**_- "Yeah because things got chippy the last time he did. So what are you doing?"_

**_Stewie _**_- "I'm informing the readers about a change in the story."_

**_Aizen _**_- "Oh right. Because you guys came out with a game and decided to waste what we already had. Not to mention our time."_

**_Stewie _**_- "However, this chapter will be a two part special. As we promised. So sit back and tolerate us."_

* * *

Like all thing good in the world, the situation that Stewie Griffin is in, is no where close. It felt like yesterday when he and Aizen first met. And worse enough, Brian (Stewie's loveable dog companion) and Lisa (a Vizard that knows Aizen well) gets into the mix. Every adventure always starts one way and sometimes ends the same way; sometimes ends in a different way. Still the quartet have been through hell and back, then back to hell then right back.

So many questions about these four that never been answered – probably won't be answered any time soon. But for these guys, all they knew was that there was an adventure waiting ahead of them at every road. And those roads were dirty as all hell.

_At the home of Stewie, Aizen, Brian and Lisa,_ nothing was really happening. Lisa was casually sitting on the couch, looking a pornographic magazine. Brian simply read a book (and stole glances from the magazine Lisa was reading), Stewie was upstairs in his room sleeping – as what babies are supposed to be doing. Lastly, Aizen was nowhere to be found. Brian and Lisa didn't quite bother to go look for him as he would eventually turn up.

While they were downstairs minding their own business, Aizen was up to no good. No, he wasn't trying to take over the Soul Society, he was merely sneaking into Stewie's room with nothing more than a large bowl of water, snickering as he got closer.

The grown man looked down at the sleeping child, when he dumps the entire bowl of cold water on him. This immediately wakes him up and instinctively, he had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that he was dripping wet and Aizen was laughing, holding the bowl in his hand. At that moment, Stewie's blood started to boil and that was at the same moment when he attacked him.

Brian and Lisa could hear all the ruckus from upstairs. However, they chose not to go up there. About several minutes in, the noises stops. They look up at the ceiling to see if they were finished and it seemed as though that the noise has stopped. All they could make out was the yelling, things breaking and stuff that they could identify by ear. Stewie came downstairs, furious mind you. Following him was Aizen, who was beaten up bad.

To think a man who nearly took over the world, got his ass kicked by a baby.

Brian looked up at them and asked, "Whoa, what the hell happened to you?"

"This bastard dumped ice cold water on me whist I was sleeping." Stewie yelled.

Not even looking away from her magazine, Lisa told Aizen, "Why do you keep doing these things? You know he gets upset whenever you do shit like this."

"I thought it would be good to see how he'd react. You can't blame me."

"And _that _is why you got your ass kicked by a infant – again."

Seeing how the tension between them has escalated, Brian got up from the couch and spoke out, "Guys! How did we become so mean towards one another? Have things really gotten so tense and dysfunctional? Look, I have an idea; something that will help our violence towards one another."

"What do you propose, mutt?" Aizen inquired.

"Why not take a vacation? I heard of a nice place in Buffalo where we could learn to work together, relax and stop cutting each others' throats."

The idea was ridiculous as it was enticing. They thought about it so it could sink in and after a quick huddle, Stewie walked over and said, "Well even though it is stupid, perhaps we should give it a try."

_They headed out on a long drive to Buffalo, _after a few hours driving, everything seemed quiet – which for them was uncommon. Since they were driving from Providence to Buffalo, it was gonna take several hours for them to get there. As they were half way across New York state, Aizen noticed something as he watched Lisa drive.

"I just noticed something. How come I'm not driving? It's not like I don't know how." he inquired.

But Stewie replied with, "Does the words _Suspended License_ ring a bell?"

"Besides, it would be better if you didn't drive us there." Brian added – sitting in the front seat this time.

"Okay, just because I hit that woman on the bicycle, it suddenly means I can't drive?"

"According to the state, yes exactly."

The conversation was already stale to say the least, so they resumed their streak of silence. _Hours later, _after numerous arguments, running over homeless people due to lack of attention and etc, the gang make their destination. A rarity for one since they were not distracted by any random occurrence. Following Brian's directions, they arrive at the home where they'll be spending a week beneath its walls.

As they get out of the car and take a look at the house, something about it make some of them uncomfortable. On the outside, the house seemed normal, if anything, amazing; but they could not help but think that there was something more about this place than meets the eye. They (except Brian) did not want to take another step forward, because they could feel it.

Lisa took her eyes off the place and said, "I'm not going in there."

Stewie nodded, "Me neither."

"Neither am I." Aizen followed suit. Brian did not know what the big deal was with them. He didn't see anything wrong with the place – but that might be his lack of ability to sense evil.

"Oh come on, you guys. This place is fine. After a day here, you won't notice anything."

Brian was unaware what he was getting them into. He could not tell what was wrong with the place, probably because Brian's spiritual pressure wasn't nearly as strong as Aizen, Stewie or Lisa. That could be the case, however it could mean a lot of things. Nevertheless, they entered the home with ease. Inside, the place also looked normal; modern if you will. But their senses became much stronger as they walked inside. But their suspicions grew much bigger.

At least six people lined up evenly, greeted them with their presence. "Why hello, visitors. It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance." one of the staff members greeted.

The four were all indifferent, they were not sure if they should go along with this, or tell them to leave. But they chose to roll with it. Stewie was the first to reply, "Um? Hello. It's nice to meet you too." They exchange eye contact for an awkward moment until Stewie walked away.

"What is your job with us?" Aizen inquired.

"We are here to serve the visitors." replied one of the other crew members, "Bags?"

"What?"

"Shall we take bags to rooms?"

"Uh? Sure, since you asked too." Aizen and company gave them their luggage where they would escort to their bedrooms. Suffice to say, they were really freaked out by this situation. Not because they were serving them, but the way they were acting.

* * *

They took the gang's luggage to each of the three rooms. Strangely enough, Stewie's room was exactly designed for him as he was a baby after all. Lisa's room was freakishly elegant for someone who hardly cares about things like that. As for Aizen, his room took the position of master bedroom. Out of all the rooms, Brian was the only person that was not accommodated.

"What a minute?" Brian noticed, "Where am I supposed to sleep?"

"I don't think you have your own room, Brian." Stewie replied.

"Well, can I sleep in your room?"

Stewie took another peek inside and said, "Sorry, no room for you."

"Damn it." he sighed, "Well how about you, Lisa? Can I stay in your room?"

Lisa took a peek of her room and replied, "Do you really want to sleep in this room?"

He took a peek of her room and he was not impressed by what she had to deal with. So he said, "You know what? I'll just sleep in the hallway."

Right then and there, Aizen stepped in and told him, "Hey, hey. I don't want anyone sleeping in a hallway. How about you sleep in my bed?"

Although Brian would rather be castrated than to sleep in his bed, he had no other choice. "Well, I suppose it's no different from sleeping with Peter and Lois. Okay, I take it."

After settling in their home, they did what they usually did at this time – sit around and do nothing. Unfortunately, there was no television in the living room or anywhere for that matter. All they did was sit on the couch and practically do nothing; well, in the case of Brian and Stewie of course. Aizen and Lisa however, took this time to read books.

It was almost 7 PM when one of the butlers came in the room unnoticed. Worse yet, he stood right behind Aizen whist he has reading; he didn't even notice the butler standing there until he said, "Excuse me, sir? But dinner is prepare for you all."

Brian, Stewie and Lisa nearly jumped out of their skin – except Aizen, who barely even flinched when he started talking. He replied, "That's nice... whatever your name is?"

Then the other staff came in for the others, among them was the twin maids who approached Lisa and told her, "If you could come with us, we will prepare you for supper."

"What? But I don't need to be-" Her response was cut off when they took her away to "get her dressed", despite her opposition. They others also escorted both Brian and Stewie so they could prepare them. After thirty minutes of resisting and completely no cooperation, they bring them downstairs where they were faced with practically an entire buffet on the dinner table. They were all dressed up for some or no apparent reason and from their perspective, none of this made sense.

The four of them sat quietly at the table, eating their meals quite uncomfortably as some of that staff stood behind them, possibly waiting to serve them if needed. Brian took the time to notice the outfit Lisa was wearing, knowing full well that she would never wear something like that.

But the dress was not what got his attention, but how she wore it. Lisa noticed Brian staring uncomfortably at her, which she exclaimed, "What the hell are you looking at?"

"Just wondering, but what is with that dress? It it showing a little too much if you know what I mean." Brian told her. Apparently, her dress exposed _a lot_ of cleavage; something that none of them knew she had. She looked down and realized what he was looking at, but instead of covering it up, she shrugged and continued eating.

Stewie noticed her exposure – as well as Aizen. Which was why he commented, "Okay what the hell is with all that? I didn't know you had... um?"

"Breasts? Yeah me neither."

"Well I think they look amazing." Aizen stated. Even though this was the moment where Lisa would scold him for saying that. But strangely enough, one of the butlers walked up to him and slapped him with his glove. Both Brian and Stewie started laughing hysterically, while like him, was confused by what happened.

Quickly, she defended herself, "Now I did not tell him to do that."

"Don't worry, I believe you." he nodded, "Besides, you'd do it yourself."

"Speaking of Lisa and her sudden cleavage," Stewie began to notice, "Are any of you curious as to what is going on here? I mean, look at what I'm wearing for god's sake. But yet again, I suppose it's no different from what Aizen is wearing."

Aizen's get-up was about as ridiculous as what Stewie and Lisa were wearing. And that said a lot. Suddenly, things got quiet. The four looked around as the staff practically stared at them with blank expressions. In fact, they were unsure if they should continue eating or walk away. Their best bet was to play it off.

* * *

_At about midnight, _they were sent to bed a bit early. Stewie was all alone in his room – but he couldn't sleep; he strongly believed someone was watching him. Was it the walls? The toys? It could've been anything in there, but it did fuel his paranoia. Brian slept comfortably at the foot of Aizen's bed as for him, he had some discomfort that prevented him from getting any sleep. All he could do was stare at the ceiling, thoughts running inside his head, none of which were the things that he normally thinks about.

As for Lisa, unlike Stewie and Aizen, she was able to sleep. Until she heard a sudden voice shout at her, which suddenly woke her up. She looked around to see who was shouting at her but no one was there. But yet again, she wasn't wearing her glasses. Eventually, she fell right back to bed – until as soon as her eyes closed, she heard a noise. This time she put on her glasses and got out of bed to investigate the noise, although it would've been smarter to just stay in bed.

Walking out of her bedroom in nothing but her nightgown, she searched around for the source of the noises. But she was half-awake as she walked down the hallway, but her mind was deceiving her. Her mind told her to keep walking and her body kept going, but neither told her where to go – in short, she was practically sleep-walking. Then suddenly, she took a fall... down the stairs. Stewie, Aizen and Brian all fully woke up, only to hear her body thumping down and against the stairs.

And then, there was the _big thump_. The three of them leaped out of bed and out into the hallway, where they ran down the stairs only to see Lisa lying on the ground. Immediately, Aizen rushed to her aide so did Brian and Stewie.

"Lisa? Wake up!" Aizen yelled, shaking her awake. She opened her eyes to see Aizen with his hand on her – but that was the least of her concerns. She was wondering where the hell she was.

"What the- Where am I?" she groaned.

Stewie walked to her side and asked, "The real question is: what the hell happened to _you_?"

"I don't know. First thing I remember, I was getting out of bed next, my mind went blank. I have no clue how I got down here." she tried to remember what happened, but then she noticed the amount of pain she was in, "Why am I so sore? Did I- Did I fall down the stairs?"

"Judging from what happened and what we heard, I suppose you did fall down the stairs." Stewie assumed. There was no other way she could've gotten down there in that nature. Aizen and Brian helped her up and back up to her bedroom. Even though they wanted to investigate what happened, tonight wasn't the time to do so.

* * *

_**- The following day -**_

The quartet was still in question as to what possibly happened last night that led to Lisa's sudden fall down a flight of stairs. They didn't talk about it in particular, but it was still on their minds. Now since it is a new day, they could try and focus on something else other than what happened.

After breakfast, they walked out of the dining room still with no one saying anything. Until finally, Brian said, "Okay, is anyone gonna mention what happened to Lisa last night?"

Fortunately, Stewie was relieved that he wasn't the only one who was thinking about it; he added, "I was thinking about it all morning. I thought I was dreaming."

"I know." he agreed, "Last night may have been strange, but suddenly I've been picking up on some strange vibes coming from this house."

"So you've finally picked up on that?" Lisa gave a snide remark, while sitting on the couch with bumps and bruises.

"Lisa, aren't you the slightest bit concerned about what to you last night?"

"No, I am not concerned." she nodded, "Besides, why should I be concerned? I fell down a bunch of stairs and now I'm sore. That's all."

"I'm not talking about the stairs."

"Then what?"

Aizen stepped into the conversation and calmly observed, "Look here. What Brian is trying to say is, there is something strange about this place. Something he should have been aware of in the first place. But think about this – that fall last night was no coincidence, normally you are very careful. And yes, these people are creepy but like what Brian said before, we got to relax. If anything suspicious happens, then we stop relaxing."

"I suppose mister know-it-all, is right." Stewie agreed. Then they heard a loud crash again. All of them left to discover the cause of the noise once again. They enter the kitchen and find all the dishes broken into pieces. They looked up and saw the twin maids virtually glaring at them.

Their glares made them uncomfortable, which made it hard for them to say anything to them. Stewie looked up and them and asked, "What... happened?"

"Nothing." they said in unison, "Please exit and return to your previous duties. Immediately."

None of them wished to challenge them so they walked away, trying to forget the fact that they have no plates anymore.

* * *

_Later that day_, Brian walked alone in the home trying to find one of his dog toys that Aizen threw in purpose. As a dog, he had a short attention span in finding lost items; most times he had an easy time retrieving such things but this wasn't the case. Brian turned around, looking for it but suddenly he hears another noise.

It wasn't that clear to him, but the second time around, he heard it clearly. It was the croaking of a frog. Actually, one was sitting right next to him. Brian turned around and met eyes with said frog, who was staring right at him. He did not know how to react to this at all, the frog was hardly the size of a foot and the way it glared at him freaked him out. He tried walking away, but the frog continued looking at him with every movement.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed, "Okay, you need to get the hell outta her-"

Brian's comment was cut off when suddenly, the frog took out its tongue, wrapped him up and ate him. Brian's screams were heard from across the room by Aizen and Lisa, who ran to see if he was okay, but all they saw was Brian's leg being consumed by the small frog.

They were appalled by what had happened. In response, Lisa turned to Aizen and she exclaimed, "What the hell is that thing?"

"A frog. At least I'm sure it is." he replied.

"But it _ate _Brian!"

He could see how tense she was, so Aizen tried to calm her down, "Look, just relax. Instead of fretting over Brian being frog food, we should find a way to kill it. The question is, how?"

She nearly wanted to smack him for his amount of stupidity he has exhibited. How she actually responded was by taking out her Zanpakuto, and telling him, "Do you really want me to say it? Or do you wanna guess?"

He finally realized what she meant, after a minute of thought. So Aizen followed by taking out _his _Zanpakuto and said (literally) to the frog, "You're gonna regret eating our furry friend."

However, before they could draw their swords, the frog yanked it out if their hands with his tongue and ate them, leaving them defenseless (sort of). They did not want to end up being food for the frog so they backed away. Slowly, that is. Meanwhile, Brian, who was inside the frog's stomach, looked around to see how he was gonna get out of this; it was surprisingly big for a toad _that _small. But to his luck, Brian saw something fall down into its stomach that could help him out.

Outside the frog's stomach, Aizen and Lisa were walking back to the other room when suddenly... Brian made a jailbreak from the prison that was the frog. Using their swords that were also consumed, Brian cut his way out and in the process, killed the frog. They turned around and saw that he made a "daring" escape, but also noticed how Brian was all covered up in who knew what.

"Brian, what the hell happened to you?" Aizen inquired.

"I don't know, this frog suddenly ate me. I had no way to defend myself."

Stewie came in the room after hearing all the noise that came from there. He shouted at the three, "What the hell is going on? I'm trying to get some bloody sleep!"

"Sorry, Stewie." Aizen apologized, picking him up, "We were trying to get Brian out of a frog's stomach."

"What do you mean?"

Brian walked over, with frog "something" all over him and explained, "Apparently, I was just eaten alive by a frog that was barely the size of my foot."

"Whoa"

"Yeah, whoa. Fortunately, I killed it whist making an escape."

Lisa interrupted, "Okay, okay. Instead of sitting here, we need to get the fuck outta here. Right now!"

"Alright then." Stewie agreed, signaling Aizen to let him go, "Now let's find the butler so he can help us pack up."

Immediately, they rushed to find somebody that could help them get out of here. But the problem is – there was nobody around at all. But that did not stop them from looking either way. _Twenty minutes in looking for someone,_ they thought to themselves. They didn't need any of the to help them pack, but to find the butler was also a priority too. But luck was again in their favor when came across the butler sitting on a chair in the kitchen.

They ran to his direction, with Aizen telling him, "Hey, come on. We need some help."

The butler turned around, giving Aizen and the others an empty expression. It suddenly began startling when he begun to screech as loud as possible. They believed that he was attempting to pop their ear drums but then something unexpected happened – his head blew up in tiny chunks.

All four of them were splattered in blood and head chunks, something that also left them in horror – especially Aizen, even though has done his share of shocking things, this was also something he has never seen before. They were stuck in silence until Brian screamed in absolute shock.

"Oh my god!" Stewie shouted."

Lisa backed away and muttered, "His head... it... just blew up!"

Though this was the last thing that needed to be attended to, Stewie walked to the closet and said, "I'm gonna go get a mop."

Once Stewie touched the door, it suddenly opened by itself. Soon as the door fully opened, Stewie yelled in horror when he saw what was inside. Aizen, Brian and Lisa ran over to see and what they saw, made them want to vomit. The entire staff, who were all crammed in the broom closet, where brutally slaughtered. This solved the mystery as to why they were absent.

Brian wanted to vomit, Lisa backed away before she lost it and Aizen did not say anything but he did look at them and even without words, they knew what their next move was. All four of them sprinted into their bedrooms and quickly gathered their things; now was not even the time to wrap, fold or anything that could've wasted valuable time. Quickly, they carried their bags down the large flight of stairs but once they reached the front door, they could not believe what they saw.

The entire front door was missing. Leaving them with no way out.

"Stewie..." Aizen asked him, "What happening?"

"Well, it seems we are officially fucked." he answered.

They all stared at what was the front door, when Brian noted, "This is like every horror movie cliché I can think of."

"Shut up, Brian."

This sudden change of events not only proved they are now stuck, but puts their fates into question. It is now a fight to stay alive.

* * *

**To Be Continued – End of Chapter Twelve**

**The story is back! Breaking a year long hiatus, I present you chapter twelve of one of my favorite stories. I hope for some of you that read this, I hope you've enjoyed it. Thanks and part two will be released at some point. Not another year, I'll tell you that.**


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